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5 Lessons We Can Learn About Life From Appollos Hester

Have you seen the awesome video of the high school football player that has gone viral this week?

I hope you haven’t and this is your first time.  You are in for a real treat!  (Confession: I have watched a dozen times now and it never gets old).

Every bit of the 2 minutes and 28 seconds of this video is superb.  This video is G rated, so gather any youngsters wandering around to watch with you.

Ok, first of all, DO YOU NOT LOVE THIS KID!  I just want to hug and high five him!

Every second of this video is filled with goodness, but here are the TOP 5 lessons we can learn about life from Appollos Hester:

1. NEVER LOSE YOUR CHILD-LIKE ENTHUSIASM
Appollos is in high school, so he’s still officially a “child,” but somewhere along the line most of us lose our zeal and excitement for life.  Did life become less exciting?  No.  Our perspectives change, but that doesn’t mean we lose the ability to twirl and jump around when we are excited about something.  Right?

Challenge: Next time you get your mail, skip to the mailbox.  Don’t worry about the neighbors staring at you.  Maybe you will encourage them to live out random acts of joy.  Believe me, skipping makes you feel ALIVE!

2. LISTEN TO YOUR MENTORS
Appollos recounts what his coach told the team in the locker room huddle, “It’s gonna be tough, it’s gonna be hard, you’re gonna go out there, you’re gonna batter, you’re gonna fight, you’re gonna do it for one another…”  He took the advice and encouragement the coach gave and BELIEVED his team could do it.

If you are lucky enough to have a mentor/coach/counselor in your life, listen to them and apply the wisdom they have to impart.  If you don’t have someone like this in your life, I encourage you to find someone who can speak into your life in a positive way.  For those encouragers out there, you have a gift to share, become a mentor to a child or adult today.  Click here for some organizations that need you.

3. BE GRATEFUL
Appollos is grateful.  He’s grateful to God.  He’s grateful to his parents.  He’s grateful to his friends and teammates.  He’s grateful for everything!  Research shows that people who practice gratitude consistently are physically, emotionally, and socially better off.  No matter what your circumstances are, there is always something to be grateful for, it just takes a conscious decision to choose to live a life of gratitude.  As Appollos reminds us in the video, “It’s a mindset!”

4. POSITIVE PEOPLE MOTIVATE THOSE AROUND THEM
I love it when the desk reporters at the end are discussing the interview and one says, “I don’t know about you, but I’m about ready to run through a brick wall!”  This guy was pumped! Positive people inspire others and breed positive change.  Positive people also attract positive life experiences.  You know motivational speaker Tony Robbins is going to be all over offering a job to our dear Appollos!

A bit off topic here, but didn’t the desk reporter look and sound just like Vince Vaughn when he made that comment?  Just a note for the future movie producer of Appollos’ life story. : )

5. SPREAD THE GOOD NEWS
There is so much good in this world.  Unfortunately, the ugly stories the media has a tendency to share get the high ratings, so those stories aren’t going anywhere.  The reason this video has gone viral is because it makes us happy to watch it.  It inspires us!  It motivates us!  The lesson here is, when you have good news to share, share it.  Spread JOY and HAPPINESS!

“You can do anything you put your mind to. Never give up on your dreams. Keep smiling.” – Appollos Hester

What was your favorite part of the video?  Do you have something awesome that you would like to share with us today?

Include your comments below, I would really love to hear from you!

In an effort to make your friends and family smile, please consider sharing this post with them.

Jill xx

P.S. If you haven’t subscribed to my blog already, don’t wait!. You might miss an encouraging and helpful post.

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How to Stop Your Negative Self-Talk From Bullying You

Let me ask you a question. If someone walked up to your kid, your best-friend, or your mama, would you allow them to shout insults in their face?

“HEY! YOU MAY AS WELL QUIT! YOU DON’T HAVE A CHANCE! YOU’RE GOING TO FAIL ANYWAY!!”

I hope your answer is NO WAY! We would never allow this bullying behavior to continue, would we?

If that’s the case, why do you and I allow ourselves to talk to ourselves in that way?

Maybe when it happens in your head it doesn’t sound that aggressive. Your internal negative self-talk voice may have more of a calm, condescending tone to it. “Darlin’, you go right ahead and try to get that promotion at work. They won’t laugh in your face, it will be behind closed doors.” (Imagine this one with a sweet southern accent. This is how I’m guessing some of my southern sisters hear the bully in their head.)

Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Alice Domar tells us,”We have about 50,000 thoughts a day most of which are automatic. Our internal self-talk will be a mixture of positive, negative and neutral thoughts.”

It’s when we allow the negative thoughts to outweigh the others that we have a problem.

As Dr. Domar said above, we all have negative thoughts, so chances are we won’t be eradicating those thoughts completely. We CAN, however, limit the amount of negative self-talk that pervades the inner-sanctum of our minds.

Let’s take a look at the physical and emotional impact that occurs when we allow our negative self-talk to take over, followed by ways to overcome or override these effects.

Negative Self-Talk:

Intimidates us.
Makes us believe lies about ourselves.
Causes anxiety and stress.
Causes avoidance and procrastination.
Sabotages positive activity in our lives.

Ways to Overcome Negative Self-Talk:

Awareness:
As negative thoughts enter your head, realize that they are just that – THOUGHTS, not truth.

The more you are aware of a habit, the easier it is to make a positive change.

Judge “The Voice”:
Some negative thoughts may be there to protect us. “Don’t you dare go out with those friends tonight, you know you don’t have the power to turn down that drink.” For a struggling addict, the “you don’t have the power” statement here may be true.

In another example, let’s say that same addict is hearing, “Don’t you go to that AA meeting, you don’t have the power to follow through with those 12-steps.” It’s time to dismiss this voice and it’s “counsel” for the troublemaker that it is.

Fill Your Brain With Positive Thoughts:
When we fill our minds with positive affirmations, our realities WILL change. Every single one of us, yes, EVERY single one of us has positive character traits and attributes and true words of encouragement that we deserve to tell ourselves.

A friend of mine is in the process of writing a book about her journey with Leukemia. She writes the following about the four most impactful words – I CAN DO THIS – she repeatedly told herself during the year and a half following her diagnosis of Leukemia, “After my initial diagnosis which was followed by my first round of chemo, that afternoon, I can remember saying it a few times. I can do this. After that it was like a roller-coaster, with the number of times a day I said it, depending on, of course, where I was in my treatment. During the months leading up to my transplant and while undergoing chemo to keep my cancer in remission, I probably said it four or fives times a day. After my transplant and while living in the hospital for six weeks it was more like 20 times day. Being released to my temporary housing in Seattle Washington where I had moved to undergo the bone marrow transplant, that was a different story. I can do this, was something I told myself at the very least, 20 times a day. On my very worst days it was closer to 50.”

I am certain those four words, “I can do this,” helped sustain Mari’s life.

Shed Light on Your Negative Thoughts:
When negative thoughts are kept “in the dark,” they have a tendency to stick around taunting us, growing in size and volume.

Try “outing” these thoughts by telling a family member, friend or a counselor. Good things happen when we bring negative thoughts into the light. First of all, your friend is going to tell you how silly the thought is and provide encouragement. Secondly, most scary or bad things in the dark, appear much smaller and more manageable in the light. This makes it much easier to deal with.

I encourage you to come up with 1 or 2 positive thoughts, right now, that you can speak to yourself at any time of any day. Write these down and place them in spots where you will see them regularly (bathroom mirror, kitchen sink, car dashboard). If you care to share, please write your positive thought(s) in the comment section below. Here’s mine: “I have value to add to the world through the words I write in my blog. There is someone out there that needs to read my words to encourage their heart today.” (My negative voice has been “encouraging” me to stop writing, because I don’t have any real value to add.)

Have a great day! I appreciate you taking time to spend a few minutes with me today.

If you would like these posts to magically appear in your inbox each week, just type in your name and email address in the subscription box, and consider it done!

Jill xo

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The Beauty of Living a Life of Balance

Have you noticed that a lot of people are running around with a crazed look in their eyes?

The other day, I was talking with a friend and I let out this weird cackle-laugh that I had never heard before! The translation of my cackle was “Oh my gosh, I love talking to you and what you just said was seriously funny, but I have 1,467 things to do before I leave for my vacation!!!”

So maybe we all feel a bit frazzled before leaving for vacation, but if we look around us and, better yet, look within ourselves — we may notice that we are all stumbling around a bit unbalanced.

Answer me this: On a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being super-balanced, to 1 being on the verge of falling apart, where do you stand in the balance department?

I would guess that most of us have been or are currently in the lower half.  If you are reading this and happen to fall in the super-balanced end of the spectrum, feel free to skip to the end of this post and leave a comment with your best tips. Sharing is caring, people!

So, if you find yourself in a place where you are stressed, maybe even resentful of the direction your days go, read on, there is hope to be found here.

Let’s talk about some ideas and actionable steps to creating a life of beautiful balance.

Realize and admit you need to make some changes.
The first step to positive change is admitting there is work to be done, adjustments to be made. This seems like an easy step, but many of us have a hard time admitting that we don’t have it all together. Here’s the deal, not one single person on earth has it all together. Each and every one of us has room for improvement.

Stop the comparison game.
Live your life, not your neighbor’s life. You were created for a specific purpose, with gifts that are specially yours. The most honorable thing you can do is to be who you were meant to be.

Write a top 10 priority list.
What are the non-negotiables in your life? Be specific here. If riding 100 miles/week on your bike is critical to your well-being, include that. Don’t leave off the boring stuff, like doing laundry and yard maintenance.

Remember that this is not a bucket list. It’s a list of things that need to get done on a regular basis type of list.

Also remember that you want to enjoy your life, so including hobby or exercise time is not only fun but is beneficial to your health.

NOTE: non-negotiables will change throughout your life. It’s a good idea to review this list at least once per year.

Here is my list as an example:

priority list small

Take a look at your calendar.
Write down or print out a full typical month of your calendar. Many of us may not include grocery shopping, picking up dry cleaning, visiting a friend in the hospital, etc. in our calendar, but for this exercise, adding these items is important. Don’t get caught up in the details of exact shopping times or days of the week, just get it all down on paper.

Reflection time: Are your calendar and top 10 priority list in sync?

Just Say NO!
Now that you’ve got it all down in black and white, do you see anything glaringly obvious that you just don’t have time for?

It’s time to make some cuts.

If you are a parent, it may be that hauling your kids around to four different practices is killing you.

If you are a business person, it may be that working 14 hours per day is killing you.

It may be that you are trying to pack too much fun into your calendar. This may sound absurd, but there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.

Take some time to decide what you will say no to. It took 43 years for me to become comfortable with saying no (by the way, as I write this I am 43 & 3/4). Still a work in progress.

Now before you try and convince yourself that saying no is mean or a bad thing to do, let me stop you there. When you have the courage to say no you are clearing out room for a well-cultivated YES!

Unplug. I love technology! With that being said, please unplug from your virtual world for set periods of time. Facebooking, Tweeting, and surfing the net can be a major time suck. You will not be able to achieve balance if you are living your life through a screen. (If you did not include technology time in your non-negotiable list, then consider adding it now.)

Set some personal boundaries.
The purpose of boundaries are to protect. Saying no is one such boundary that will protect you.

The lines on our freeways are boundaries that keep us from crashing into one another. The boundaries set on a football field create order.

The boundaries we set in our lives will protect us physically and emotionally. Do yourself a favor and set some boundaries.

One such boundary might be that you will not work more than 50 hours/week.

Another could be related to friendships or other relationships. There are all types of people, some can suck the life out of you. Creating a boundary of when and where you are willing to interact with these type of people is a good thing.

Be kind to yourself.  
Allow yourself some grace in this process. Finding the right balance for you can take some time. Rome wasn’t built in a day, right?

Allow tweaking to perfect your balance. If you fall off the wagon, just jump back on. As we talked about earlier, if you aren’t comparing yourself to someone else, you won’t beat yourself up as bad.

Today, more than ever, the lines of balance are blurred.  A lot more is expected of us, both by others and ourselves. Creating a life of balance is critical to our well-being and as models to future generations.

Which steps in finding balance do you struggle with the most?

Do you have some helpful ideas to add to the list here?

I would really love to hear from you. Please comment in the box below.

Jill xo

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Gratitude in a Virtual World

There are 829 million daily active users on Facebook today.

What are we all doing there?

We are either sharing, watching others share, snooping, or a  little of each.

We share milestones: Births. Deaths. Job changes. Relationship status updates. The list goes on.

We share beautiful sunsets, what we ate for lunch, funny memes, how many goals our awesome kids scored, and ALS bucket dousing videos. The list goes on.

What do we tend to steer away from sharing? The awful fight we got in with our spouse or best friend, the ginormous zit on our chin, the failed test, the feelings of despair after you get “the call” from the doctor’s office. The list goes on.

Seven days ago, I was challenged on Facebook to list out things I was grateful for each day, for seven consecutive days.

While I don’t often share much about myself on Facebook, this has been a fun exercise.

What have I been most grateful for this past week? Family and friends. The sound of children laughing. My relationship with God. Being flawed, yet still fabulous. Music that rocks my soul. Quality time with my boy before he leaves for college. People who smile. Life-saving blood cells from an umbilical cord that saved my best friend’s life.

Today is the last day of sharing my heart on this seven-day gratitude challenge.

Here were the words I shared on Facebook today:

Today I am super grateful, proud and nervous to announce the birth of…

…MY BLOG.

For those of you that know me, I hope I didn’t dash your expectations for a moment that I might be birthing another human-being! Are you kidding?! I’ve got my only offspring headed to college any minute. What will this empty nester have time for now?

Writing… HERE .

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” Ernest Hemingway

I have imagined starting a personal and business development (think life-coach/teacher) website for several years. Like many of us tend to do, I pushed that idea back in the dusty corner that doesn’t receive much attention.

Until now. My dream has officially been dusted off, semi-polished and I’m throwing glitter in the air!

My goal in writing this blog is to provide a virtual space that will be a place of inspiration, encouragement and education. A place to ask questions and share ideas. (To gain a sense of why I might like to provide such a place, click here to read a little about my personal and professional background.)

I should let you know…

THIS post wasn’t the post I planned to launch my blog with. I actually wrote an extensive article on living a life of purpose and passion. I even created a printable goal sheet to go with that post! (The geek in me will tend to rear its head from time to time here—no apologies.) I hope you will find that particular post very helpful in the future. HINT: Subscribe to this blog and it will magically arrive in your inbox each week.

With this being the last day of my gratitude challenge and the launch of this website, how could I NOT write about gratitude and the effect it has on our lives.

Whether you choose to share in a public format or simply write in a journal each day, I encourage you to express your gratitude daily. It will change your life.

Choosing gratitude each day is not always easy, but with practice you will find that it is possible to be grateful even in the most difficult of circumstances.

John F. Kennedy once said, “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”

Express Gratitude Today

If you choose to subscribe to this blog, you will hear from me once (maybe twice) per week. I will try to bring value to your life with the thoughts and information I share. I hope you, in turn, will contribute your thoughts and ask questions for us to ponder in the comment section below each post.

I would be honored if you would put your name and email in the subscription box and see where this journey takes us.  Jill xo

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