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Dreams Can Come True

Last week we talked about dreaming big and why many of us do not.

The main reasons I see dreams dashed are: fear, procrastination, and listening to negative talk–either from yourself or others.

Did you notice I didn’t say the main reason people don’t fulfill their dreams is because they don’t have an MBA or gobs of money in the bank?

Following are 8 steps that anyone can use to begin the process of making their dream become a reality.  

“A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, and hard work.” ~ Colin Powell

  1.  Find your passion. Sounds easy doesn’t it? For some people it is.  For the rest of us, it can be a life-time struggle and endless search.

Merriam-Webster defines passion as:  A strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something.

With this definition in mind, here are a few questions for you to ponder:

  • What is so exciting that it keeps you up at night?
    Writing, cooking, knitting, opening a restaurant, wanting to help others, drawing, etc.?  You fill in the “blank”.
    NOTE: If you read my last post, you may have already worked on this list.  If not, grab a notepad or journal and jot down some ideas now.
  • Here’s another way to look at it.  What do you get supercharged about?  In conversation, what topic pops up that you just can’t get enough of?  For me, it’s talking to someone about their dreams and goals in life and helping them to figure out a game plan to make it all a reality.
  • What are you curious about?
  • What is most important to you in life?  Stability, adventure, comfort, helping others, tons of money, early retirement, etc.?

What sticks out on your list?  Did something in particular rise to the surface?  Yes?  If so, move on to the next step.

If you didn’t come up with anything earthshaking today, don’t worry.  These questions are good ones to get you thinking and exploring ideas.  Put your list down and come back to it later.  For now, let’s move on to the next step.

  1.  Dreams can come true. Have you admitted to yourself that the ideas and excitement that keep you up at night are part of a dream that could actually become your reality? Sometimes we keep our dreams in a little box that we only allow ourselves to take quick peeks inside before closing it up again.

I dreamed about starting this blog three years before I actually did.  I came up with every imaginable excuse of why it wouldn’t work… you don’t know how to write, who wants to hear what you have to say, stick with helping others figure out how to achieve their dreams–not your own, you don’t have time for any “side” projects.  Want to know the turning point for making my dream of creating this blog come true?  Long story short, I had a neck injury that had me lying flat on my back in pain for several days.  Besides praying for relief, I reflected on what’s important in life.  I realized that writing this blog was something I felt I was meant to do, even if that meant me stepping out of my comfort zone.

  1.  Realize if your dream is just that–a dream (best left on the pillow). If you are 50 years old, have never ice skated, but have decided that you are going to make your Olympic ice skating career a reality, it may be in your best interest to come up with a dream that’s a bit more realistic. The next step (#4) will help reel you in with this one.  You may come to realize that some things are better enjoyed as hobbies.
  2.  Take action. Ok, so now you’ve got a great idea and you are convinced it’s not just a pipe dream. Time to get moving! If you don’t start, you’re not going to get anywhere, are ya? I suggest you define and evaluate your goals by using the S.M.A.R.T goal setting method.

Here’s how to break down the S.M.A.R.T. acronym:

  • SPECIFIC – What do you want to accomplish?  Break it down.  Be very specific.
    Not specific: I will write a book.
    Specific: I will write 2 chapters in my book every week.
  • MEASURABLE – Figure out how to quantifiably measure your goal.  Put some concrete numbers down here.
    Not measureable: I will earn a ton of money when my book is published.
    Measureable: I will earn $175,000 in profit after publishing my first book.
  • ATTAINABLE – Is your goal something that can be achieved within the framework of what you can commit to?
    Not attainable: I will write 14 hours per day while holding down my full-time day job, too.
    Yes: I will spend 2 hours per night devoted to writing.
  • REALISTIC – This goes back to the Olympic figure skating example earlier.  Is your goal realistic within your abilities, experience, etc.?
    Not realistic: I will skate in the next Winter Olympics at the age of 51.
    Realistic: I will take ice skating lessons and join an over 50 ice skating club.
  • TIME BOUND – Every goal should have a deadline.  I have found that when I don’t assign a deadline, the goal will be pushed back to the end of the line time and again.
    Not time bound: I will write two books.
    Time bound: I will write my first book by the end of the year and complete my second book within 18 months following.

I have created a form to help you organize your S.M.A.R.T. goals.  Click here to download your free S.M.A.R.T. goal tracker.

“Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.”  ~ Conrad Hilton

  1.  Let it evolve.  Now that you’ve got your S.M.A.R.T. goals written down, don’t let how you think the plan should play out overrule the organic evolution of “the dream”. Often times we try to control the outcome so much that we miss out on the beauty of the natural creative flow that takes place. Yes, it’s important to write down goals and have a plan of action, but there may be opportunities that present themselves along the way that change the course a bit.  How you get there may change, just keep the end goal in focus!
  2.  Don’t get distracted. Do you tend to have the “shiny object” problem? At times I will be steadily working on a project and decide to stop and check my emails.  The “I’ll just check real quick,” does not work.  The next thing I know, I have responded to several emails, checked Facebook, and it’s an hour later.  Don’t allow yourself to be caught in a time-suck that throws you off your game!  Stay focused!
  3.  Visualize your dreams coming true.  This part is fun! Who hasn’t had the, “What would you do if you won the lottery conversation?” When we visualize a desired outcome, our brains can sense that motivation and new ideas will begin to materialize.  My husband visualized hitting a softball solidly out of the park when we were on an amateur league at my office years ago.  You know what?  Almost every single time he stepped up to bat, he hit it out of the park!  A large part of training takes place when you close your eyes.  Visualizing creates muscle memory.  The same idea can work to help you see your dreams come to fruition.
  4.  Celebrate your successes (even the ones that some people call failures). Cue the Kool & The Gang song… ♪ ♪ Celebrate good times, come on! ♪ ♪  Determine “success milestones” and celebrate your accomplishments. The process of realizing your dreams can be hard work! Go ahead and pat yourself on the back…treat yourself to a large pepperoni pizza…get that mani/pedi—and then get back to work.

On the other hand, learn from your mistakes. Consider your mistakes a gift.  A gift that is used wisely will bring you much success in the future.  The key is to avoid making the same mistakes again and again.

Ok, so now you have 8 steps to get you moving in the right direction to making your dreams come true.

Hold on!  I’m going to add one more important step.  Let’s call it THE GOLDEN BONUS STEP.  This one will take some courage but will pay off.

Here it is…THE GOLDEN BONUS STEP!  Tell me (in the comment section below) what two steps you will take in the next 24 hours to work toward your dream.  Don’t let this step intimidate you.  Maybe your two steps will be to print out the goal setting sheet and spend 15 minutes each day over the next week working on completing the sheet.  That’s awesome!!  As a matter of fact, you can just copy what I just wrote and paste it in the comment section below.  Sometimes just publicly saying you are going to do something, will keep you motivated (and held accountable) when you feel like giving up.

Remember, I am here to offer you direction and encouragement along the way.  If you have questions on anything I have written about here, just ask.  I would love to help you work toward making your dreams come true!

If you found this post helpful, inspiring, or just plain awesome, please be kind and share with others.

Jill xx

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Dream Big!

Is there something really exciting that you would like to do, but have been putting off?  Something you dream about “one day” doing?  You know, something like: writing a book, taking a year off to sail around the world, going back to school for a career change, learning how to play the piano, opening a restaurant, starting a non-profit?

What’s holding you back?

Lack of time?  Lack of resources?  Feeling unqualified?  Fear?

Oftentimes, taking the steps necessary to make our dreams come true are postponed until…the timing is better, there’s more money, it feels less scary, etc.

Have you noticed how time flies when we use these excuses?

Three years ago I had a strong desire to start writing a blog.  Did I do it?  No.  The two main excuses that rattled around in my head were: 1. “I really don’t have time to write with my busy schedule,” and 2. “I’m not a writer.”  First of all, somehow I always found time to watch House Hunters International, so time was not the issue!  Secondly, did I think that writers came out of the womb with a pen in hand writing beautiful prose about their experience in the amniotic sac??

For me, it all boiled down to a dirty four-letter word.

FEAR.

I allowed fear to keep me from doing something I felt passionate about.  I allowed fear to take captive my rational thoughts.  I allowed fear to bully me into thinking I wasn’t worthy to express my ideas through writing.

Well, it took me three years to finally start writing my blog, but I did it!  The operative word here is START.  I know I might look back in a couple years and blush with embarrassment at some of my earliest writing attempts.  You know what?  I’m ok with that, because at least I will have something to look back at.  You know the old saying, if you don’t start somewhere, you’ll get nowhere really fast!

So, what have you been putting off?  Has fear crept in and pushed your dream into a corner?  Are you tired of making excuses of why your dream isn’t possible?

Taking action can be really overwhelming at times.  It helps to have someone (this is where I come in!) walking alongside you offering encouragement and actionable steps as you move closer to your dream.

So today, right now, I encourage you to take the first step.  Don’t worry, this part will be fun!

Over the next several days, set aside time to reflect on what you are passionate about, what gets you excited, what inspires you.  Another way to think about this is what or who do you want to be when you “grow up”?

I suggest you write some things down in a journal or notebook.  Write down words, sentences, ideas, maybe even quotes that inspire you.  Don’t get caught up in the details of “the hows,” just let your imagination run wild!  Dream big!

“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” – Gloria Steinem

Next week I will have some specific actionable steps for you to begin working towards making your dream a reality.

So you don’t miss next week’s post, make sure to sign up to receive my blog posts via email.

Don’t let your friends and family miss out on working toward making their dreams come true!  Please share the love by sharing this post with them.

Super excited to see you next week!

Jill xx

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Finding the Extraordinary in the Ordinary

Think about a typical, let’s call it “ordinary” day.  You get up, make the coffee, shower, eat breakfast, go to work, return home, make dinner, do some laundry, watch tv, and go to bed.

Just another ordinary day, right?

Think again.  There’s something extraordinary right in front of you, you just need to know how to find it.

Merriam-Webster defines ordinary in this way:

Ordinary definition

On the other hand, they define extraordinary like this:

extraordinary defintion

I think the folks at Merriam-Webster should add a footnote with both these definitions that says it’s possible to experience the extraordinary in the ordinary.  It’s just a matter of awareness, perception and gratitude.

Let’s take a look at the “ordinary” day I described earlier.  How might we uncover the extraordinary there?

Have another cup of joe: Did you know that coffee beans are actually a fruit called a coffee cherry harvested from coffee trees?  The process from planting the seed, to harvesting (often hand-picked) the cherries three to five years later is only the beginning.  A very detailed process then takes place over the next several months that includes processing, drying, milling and exporting the green beans to a roaster.  The beans are finally packaged and available for sale in your local store or coffee house.  So, as you sip on your delicious coffee each morning, consider the extraordinary efforts that took place to create it.  Enjoy!

Rub-a-dub-dub:  Did you know that 85% of the world population lives in the driest half of the planet? 783 million people do not have access to clean water and almost 2.5 billion do not have access to adequate sanitation.  As you turn on the warm water each morning and lather up with a wonderful scented soap, give thanks for the extraordinary gift that your bathing experience is.

Take the “scenic” route: Most of us spend a good deal of time in our cars, but this works for those of us on a bus or a bike too.  Take a look around.  Note the beautiful leaf color on the trees, the interesting architecture of a house or building, and the way the clouds billow high up in the sky. These things we pass by each day, sometimes without a thought–when seen through a lens of awareness, their extraordinary qualities are revealed.

Just another day at the office: I use lots of technology throughout my day at work–how is it that I become impatient when the internet (the world at my fingertips!) goes down for 5 minutes?  Remember the day when we had to go to the library and utilize the Dewey Decimal system to look something up?  That wasn’t that long ago!  We are in an age in which we are witnessing never before seen technological advances.  These tools we utilize every day, at times taken for granted, are extraordinary.

You get the point.  It’s up to each of us to find the extraordinary in these “ordinary” experiences.  I would argue that we can find the extraordinary in almost anything.

Have an extraordinary day!

I’d love to hear from you.  Look around right now, using your new eyes of awareness, what is the first extraordinary thing you notice?  Please leave your comments below.

Jill xx

Don’t forget to subscribe to my blog.  It’s free and you’ll automatically receive each new post in your email inbox each week.

 

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Losing The Moment When Taking Pictures

The other morning I stood at my kitchen window and the most glorious scene appeared before my eyes…a bright, beautiful sunrise over the mountains.

Here it is!

FullSizeRender

What did I do?  I grabbed my phone to capture the moment.  I snapped the photo, reviewed the image, cropped out part of the neighbor’s roof, and ran down the hall to show my husband.  Darn, he was still asleep!  What did I do next?  Posted it to Facebook, of course!

What is wrong with this picture?

In attempting to capture the moment, I totally became detached from the moment.  I physically walked away from the beautiful scene that was taking place right before my eyes.  When I returned a few minutes later, the moment I was so intent on capturing was gone…forever.

How often have you found yourself so caught up in capturing a moment, that you lost the moment altogether?

I love the fact that I can easily take quality pictures with my phone.  What I don’t love, is that some of my experiences are losing their essence because I’m choosing to view them, in part, through a screen.

It’s estimated that as many as 880 billion photos will be taken worldwide in 2014, with over 200,000 uploaded to Facebook every minute.  EVERY minute!

Our obsession with over-documenting everything is adversely affecting our lives.  Here’s how:

Losing a moment you can’t get back…
Here’s a question to pose to ourselves: Is it worth losing part of the experience in order to better remember it in the future?  Hmm….chew on that for a minute.

Obviously each situation is different and we all have photos that we cherish and wouldn’t want to part with for anything.

I think the key take away here is to practice intentionality and moderation.

Adverse Health Effects…
Experts have warned that the obsession with recording and sharing every moment could have an adverse effect on our memories.

We need to allow our brains to properly process our experiences to fully retain the memory.  I don’t know about you, but I have a problem retaining things even when I’m really trying!  How much worse can it be when our attention is divided by fiddling with a camera?

Relationships suffer…
Relationships can suffer when constantly documenting our lives.  When we become so intent on getting just the right shot, we miss out on just being together and allowing the moments to come and go naturally.

Sherry Turkle, MIT professor and author of Alone Together, warns us not to confuse over-documenting and sharing our lives online as authentic connection.  “It’s hard to settle into serious conversations with ourselves and with other people because emotionally, we keep ourselves available to be taken away from everything.”

So…next time you are headed out, consider leaving your camera behind.  Enjoy the freedom and richness of experience this allows.

Live fully in each moment — you’ll never have another one just like it.

As always, I appreciate your input.  Can you relate to the compulsion to over-documenting life with your camera?  Please leave your comments below.

Jill xx

Don’t forget to subscribe to my blog.  It’s free and you will automatically receive each new post in your email box each week.

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It’s Scary What a Smile Can Hide

“It’s scary what a smile can hide.”

I saw this on a young woman’s Facebook page recently. I don’t know her, but I clicked over to see if there was an explanation. Nothing. No comments explaining why she wrote that, no follow up comments, or even questions from friends. Just, “It’s scary what a smile can hide.”

Reading that made my heart sink.

How many people do you and I “engage” with every day that are smiling outwardly, but on the inside it’s a different story?

Pain. Anger. Loss of hope. Resentment. Depression. Sadness. Hate. Abandonment.

All these emotions neatly tucked away behind a smile that doesn’t mirror the heart.

You’ve been there, right?

I’ve been there. Someone asks how my day is and I “cheerfully” reply with a heavy heart and stinging eyes, “Doing good! How about you?”

The response is not meant to be phony or misleading. It’s meant to be a method of preservation, a means of maintaining your privacy, and even consideration for others who don’t need to know every detail of our lives.

In general, we as a society, are taught to hide our emotions, aren’t we? Push through. Toughen up.

The thing is, many of us have loved ones and trusted friends who we can trust (most of) our “stuff” with.

Some don’t.

Where does that leave those who are never “seen” or “heard”?

It leaves them with statements like this: “It’s scary what a smile can hide.”

We are not put on this earth to live self-serving lives focused on indulging our wants and whims.

We are meant for greater things. To love one another. Even those we don’t know.

Remember to: Pay attention to the people who are right in front of you. Pay attention to the people that are important to you. Pay attention to those who have been forgotten or discarded.

“Love your neighbor as yourself.” – Jesus

Here are some deliberate steps you can take to connect with others:

• Acknowledge the person serving you at a restaurant in a very specific way. Compliment them on something they do very well or ask them about what’s going on in their life.
• Tell your child’s teacher that you appreciate their gifts and their sacrifice for your child.
• Say hello to the raggedy-looking person on the street. Ask how their day is and be prepared to really hear their response.
• Sincerely thank the bagger at the grocery store. I’m talking–looking him/her in the eyes and giving thanks.
• Spend some quality time with a friend that has seemed a bit “off” lately.
• Give a child’s voice the respect it is due. Don’t downplay what comes from the mouths of babes.

Are you hiding something behind your smile? I encourage you to reach out to someone you can trust—a family member, a friend, a counselor, or a pastor.

As always, I appreciate your input. Please leave your comments below.

Don’t forget! If you would like my blog posts to appear in your inbox each week, just add your name and email to the subscription box.

Jill xx

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