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Creating a Sanctuary in Your Home

Do you have a special place in your home that you go to read, pray, meditate, listen to music, knit, or just sit and think? A place that is devoid of distractions that could pull you away from time spent nurturing your soul?

Whether you spend five minutes or an hour a day in this space, I have found it’s an important time to set the pace and the tone for your day.

Perhaps you have a cozy chair in a quiet corner that you enjoy your coffee each morning?  Maybe you transform your kitchen table to a space to journal by candlelight when the house is dark and quiet?  Do you have a special spot in your garden or on your porch?  Maybe you’re able to devote an entire room to your personal sanctuary?

It’s not the size of the space that’s important—a corner in your house with a chair and a reading lamp will do.  Looking for something a little more private?  Transform a small closet in your home by clearing it out, put a bunch of throw pillows and a big comfy quilt down, turn on the light, close the door and enjoy your 15 minutes of undisturbed solitude.

Creating your space doesn’t have to cost anything extra either—take what you have and utilize it in a new way:  Repurpose an old basket to hold your journal and books, take the candles and the quilt you have packed away and use them.

On the other hand, don’t be afraid to invest in your space if you are able.

If you find the perfect chair, rug, journal, coffee mug, candle, or music CD to make your space special, then treat yourself.  This is bound to be one purchase you won’t regret!

You might even consider creating a “portable space.”  My bonus mom finds restoration for her soul while beading jewelry.  Because she likes a change of scenery while at home and also because she travels quite a bit, she has a tray that holds all her beading materials that she can easily carry around, whether it be to a quiet corner while staying at a bed and breakfast or visiting a friend’s house, or to a special place on her patio at home.

If you haven’t created a sanctuary in your home, I encourage you to do so today!

Need some inspiration in creating your space?  Check out Pinterest (try keywords “cozy corner”) or Houzz online for ideas, flip through magazines, or have a design-savvy friend over to help you set up your space.

Here’s a picture of my current space where I read, write, pray and sip on coffee every morning:

sanctuary reading space

I would love to see your special space!  Would you please take a picture and email to me?  Tell me where the space is located and what you love about it most.

Have a great day!

Jill xx

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Never Stop Learning

 

“The greatest enemy of learning is knowing.” John Maxwell

What do you think about Maxwell’s quote?  It’s a little counter-intuitive, isn’t it?

Knowing is good, right?

Socrates said the only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing.

Hmmmm….

The point Maxwell and Socrates are trying to make is to never stop learning.

The moment we claim to know all that we need to know is the moment we should fear, not celebrate.  There is, and always will be, more to learn.

One of the most beloved and revered coaches of all time, John Wooden, put it this way, “It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.”

When’s the last time you learned something new?  Are you working on something now, or has your life grown a bit stagnant?

If nothing’s coming to mind, this may be the perfect time to commit to learning something.

Maybe in reading this, something popped in your mind immediately that you’d like to get started on.  If so, go get ‘em!

Need some inspiration to get your “learning” juices flowing?  Here’s a list of 20 ideas to get you started:

  • Learn a new language.
  • Learn to cook. Too broad?  Learn to cook Asian food.
  • Learn to plant and grow a vegetable garden.
  • Learn a new productivity system to be more effective. (I’m working on this one now.)
  • Learn to play a musical instrument.
  • Learn to play tennis.
  • Learn to blog. (I did!)
  • Learn to sail.
  • Learn to listen. (Don’t laugh, this one can take a lifetime for some.)
  • Learn to take good photos.
  • Learn to tile a floor.
  • Learn public speaking. (I tried this and bailed after a couple months.  Bailing can be ok for the right reasons.)
  • Learn to build wooden birdhouses.
  • Learn something new to help your business grow.
  • Learn to budget and manage your money well.  (Working on this one too.)
  • Learn a photo editing software to “play” with your photos.
  • Learn to knit or crochet. (I’ve always wanted to do this!  Saving for retirement.)
  • Learn to whittle.
  • Learn to upholster a piece of furniture.
  • Learn to restore old books.
  • Learn to __________________. You fill in this one.

The possibilities are endless.  Find something that sounds fun–even challenging–and go for it!

How to Start/Continue the Learning Process Today:

  • Read. Read. Read. Learn from the “masters.”
  • Take an online class or a class at your local community college, community center, craft guild, music center, etc.
  • Ask a friend to teach you something they know well.
  • Ask questions of those you are learning from. Lots of questions!
  • Listen to podcasts. There are podcasts on pretty much any topic you can imagine.
  • Browse the web for DIY how-to sites, pick a project, and get to work.

If any of this seems overwhelming, just focus on taking one step at a time.  Always keep your end goal in site, but break down the steps to get there into manageable pieces.

I’d love to hear what new things you have been or will be learning about.  Please share in the comments section below.

Have a great day!

Jill xx

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Treat Each Day Like a Special Occasion

The next paragraph is best read using a soft, breathy, British accent.

When the world closes in on you and your head feels a size too small, apply just two dabs of Origins mind-clearing formula on the back of your neck, temples and earlobes. You’ll feel a tingling sensation as pressure, tension and tightness begin to melt away.

This is the online description for a special sensory therapy lotion I came across in my bathroom cabinet the other morning.  This lotion is so “special” that I have only used about seven “dabs” over the last nine years, when I received it as a gift.  I just discovered the little bottle costs $12 for .5 fluid ounces!  I think it may contain unicorn tears.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why I (we?) have a tendency to save up “the good stuff” for…. for what?  To use for a special occasion, I suppose.  The thing is, the special occasions that I (we) somehow deem worthy of breaking out the “good stuff” don’t seem to present themselves too often, so the “good stuff” remains tucked away unused and unappreciated.

No more!

So, with a NEW and IMPROVED mindset of making every day a “special occasion” day, I grabbed that special bottle of lotion and took it to the office to share!

I spotted a few ladies in the hallway and decided that they would be the lucky ones to experience the “sensory therapy” I had been hording all these years.  First, I dabbed some on my wrists, smiled and headed over to the lucky ladies.  Holding up the bottle, I said, “Y’all want a peace-filled day?  Try this!”

Mind you, these people have learned to trust me over the years, so they threw their wrists out to be dabbed with my special ‘Peace of Mind’ lotion.  As soon as I dabbed each of them, I brought my own wrist back up to my nose to inhale the loveliness.  Ahhh, the aroma of peace… the aroma of…

Cat urine!!

My wrist smelled like cat urine!  Or a meth lab, depending on your experience!

It took about a minute for the full cat/meth effect to grace each of their wrists.

Apparently, “special” lotions don’t smell as advertised after being stored away for nine years!  I figured it might’ve been like good wine and only gotten better.  Not the case.

Don’t worry the horrid smell was easily scrubbed away with soap and warm water.  : )

The lesson?  Don’t wait to use the good stuff.  Treat each day as it should be—as a gift.  A special occasion day.  A day deserving celebration.

I encourage you today to:

Burn the “special” candles while you sip on your morning coffee.
Use your fine china to serve your grilled cheese sandwich on at lunch.
Use the almost expired gift card to get that massage.
Grace your everyday table with the table linens that belonged to your great-grandmother.
Frame or display something that is too delicate to handle, but too special to ignore.
Carry and use the pocketknife that belonged to your granddad.
Write in the pretty journal that you have been saving for just the “right” words.

Can you relate?  What have you tucked away that you would like to bring out and celebrate this special day with?  I’m curious and would love to hear your answers.  Please leave your comments below.

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It’s Never Too Late For a Kind Word

“The word that is heard perishes, but the letter that is written remains.”  Proverb

When is the last time you received a handwritten note that actually arrived in your mailbox?

According to a US Postal Service survey, 650 million personal letters were sent in 2012, down from 850 million in 2010.  That 650 million breaks down to one personal letter per average household every seven weeks.  The downward trend continues as electronic communications have become a preferred method by many.

We are blessed with amazing technology that keeps us connected day to day, but some things deserve more than words pecked out on a screen or keyboard and sent off with the click of a button.

For example, a sympathy note…

I can’t tell you all the opportunities I have missed over the years in sending someone a handwritten note, but let me tell you about the one that has prompted me to write this post.

Last year I found out through a Facebook post that a friend of mine had lost her father.  Along with many others, I sent an electronic message to her immediately in response to the sad news.

This was a close friend who I had lost touch with over the last couple of years, but regardless of the distance in seeing or speaking to one another, I loved her and I knew her heart was aching.

What I didn’t do, what I should have done, what I still haven’t done, was sit down and write her a handwritten note expressing my sympathy.  It wasn’t that I didn’t think about it.  I did!  I worried over not using the right words in the note, so days turned to weeks and weeks to months…still no note.

As time went on, I became embarrassed that I had not properly acknowledged this huge loss in her life, so that became the reason I didn’t send the note.

Guess what?

I am 274 days late, but I am sending my friend a proper sympathy note today.  There are no statute of limitations on kind words, right?!

Here’s what I’ve learned:

There are no perfect words.  It is especially hard to write to someone who has suffered a loss.  My best advice is to write from your heart and keep it simple.  The words matter, but the effort matters more.  Don’t be afraid of white space on a page…it’s the quality of your words that matter, not the quantity.

If you get stuck and are at a loss for words, click here for some wording suggestions that you can use for sympathy notes as well as a variety of other occasions.

Act quickly.  Oftentimes we don’t take action because we aren’t prepared.  Keep a stock of notecards/stationery and stamps handy so that when an occasion arises in which a handwritten note is necessary, you are ready.  If you don’t have anything on hand, a plain piece of computer paper will do.

You may want to print out some of those phrases or messages that we discussed earlier and have them right there with your stationery.

Write the note and get it sent out within a few days of the announcement or notice.

It’s never too late.  Don’t wait 274 days like I did, but if you do, don’t let your shame or embarrassment stop you from taking action.  You will never regret showing kindness.

Do you have a note that needs to be written?  Whether it’s acknowledging someone’s loss, the birth of a baby, a new marriage, the breakup of a marriage, or any other major life event, remember that written words are powerful and yours will mean more than you know.

Headed off to the mailbox now!  Have a great day!

Jill xx

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Overcoming Slumps, Depression, and the Blues

Can you relate?

The holiday hoopla is over, family and friends have left, and you have read one too many “depressing” articles on how great this New Year is going to be.

Great for who?

Those who “have it all together”?

Here it is the New Year and you’re still trying to figure out what went wrong last year and how you will fix those problems, much less launch into goals for the New Year!

Did you know that depression, ranging from moderate to severe cases, affects nearly 350 million people worldwide?

Maybe you can relate.  Maybe you know someone else who might be able to relate.  Either way, it’s important to read and share the following bit of information and encouragement intended for those who are in a season in life in which they are in a slump, are depressed, or are struck with the blues.

I suffered from moderate depression and anxiety after my mother died unexpectantly several years ago.  I can tell you from experience, when you are down, it seems that everything is in a conspiracy to keep you down.

As there are varying degrees of depression, this post, is in no way meant to be the fix-it-all piece of advice.  What I am offering here are suggestions that I pray will help even one person.

Ask for help.  Let’s get one thing straight…there is NO shame in asking for help.  Whether it be from a trusted friend, a professional counselor, medical doctor, or pastor, there are people who have either spent a great deal of time learning how best to help people just like you, or in the case of a friend, love you and want the best for you.  Please allow someone to help you.  I talk about perspective later, but sometimes all you will need is the perspective of an outsider to help you break through the fog that has settled over you.  (Finding a reliable professional source of help can be overwhelming; ask a friend or family member to help you with this process.)

Don’t allow negative self-talk to perpetuate lies. Did you know that we have 50,000 thoughts running around in our heads each and every day?  Most of these thoughts, both positive and negative, are automatic, so since you can’t stop the negative thoughts from coming altogether, you best figure out a way to deal with them.  I wrote an article with four specific ways to overcome these negative thoughts; click here to read.

Remember the good.  Every single one of us has a reservoir of good memories to pull from.  For some it may be more than others, but the point is to find a few memories that you can draw from to make you smile, to lighten your mood, to remember that happiness is possible.  Now, don’t go walking down memory lane and get stuck there…you will be creating NEW good memories in the future.  Remembering things fondly (meditating on them) is merely a tool you can use to help increase your mood.  Meditation (not just clearing your mind of all thoughts, but being mindful of a good memory), certain foods, and exercise have been proven to increase your body’s dopamine (a chemical in our body that can increase motivation) levels.

Get moving.  You may have to force yourself to get up and out, but exercise is critical to feeling well, both physically and emotionally.  Research shows that exercise can improve your mood.  Endorphins, hormones released when you exercise, will trigger positive feelings.  This is what people are referring to when they talk about the “runner’s high.”

Get a new perspective.  There are times, whether you are naturally a positive or a negative thinker, that you will need a new perspective to get you on the right track.  As I mentioned earlier, this help may come through a friend, a counselor, or a pastor, but there are other ways you can help yourself.  Read uplifting, helpful, funny books, and surround yourself with positive people.  Sometimes books with short, easy to read chapters with encouraging, simple positive actions highlighted may be the best.  Other times reading a story of an inspirational person may help.

“You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.” Marianne Williamson

Show gratitude.  There is and will always be something to be thankful for.  During World War 2, Corrie ten Boom and her family were arrested for hiding Jews from the Nazis and ended up in one of the worst concentration camps in Nazi Germany, Ravensbrück.  Do you want to know one of the things she found to be thankful for during her time at this concentration camp?  Fleas!  Corrie and her dormitory mates had fleas so badly that the guards avoided them.  They saw this as a form of protection and chose to give thanks in all circumstances.  Corrie writes about her experience in The Hiding Place.

Even in the worst situation, there will always be something to be grateful for.  Dig deep.  Maybe you will express gratitude for running water, a roof over your head, a source of heat in the winter, a friend that checks in on you, a bowl of cereal…you get the point.  It’s a good idea to write down what you are grateful for.  This practice will reinforce positive thoughts and will change your life.  Start by getting a pen and paper and writing three things you are grateful for right now.  Continue with this daily and you will notice the benefits.

Help others.  You may be thinking that you are having a hard enough time helping yourself, how can you help someone else??  When you extend help to others you will feel useful, and connected.  There are all types of volunteer opportunities in your community, from working at a homeless shelter, to tutoring a student, to walking dogs at an animal shelter.  Find something that interests you and get started as soon as possible.

Celebrate the small victories.  In the morning when you get out of bed without crying, celebrate!  When you have a good conversation with a person you are constantly in conflict with, celebrate!  When you make it one day without having a drink, celebrate!  When you are able to enjoy a meal without obsessing over the calories, celebrate!  When you begin putting $15 from each paycheck into a savings account, celebrate!  Never discount a single, small victory in your battle to gain control of your life.  It’s a good idea to keep a journal recording these victories (put them right in there with your gratitude journal).  Chances are, if you don’t record them, you will forget the positive strides you are making.

If you have thoughts of suicide please call The National Suicide Prevention Line at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Lastly, if you are reading this and know someone who may be depressed, please reach out to them.  Sometimes knowing someone cares makes all the difference in the world.

I appreciate you sharing this post.

Jill xx

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