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Are You Experiencing Decision Fatigue?

Who’s with me?

You love Chinese food, but the 72 page menu is a bit overwhelming.

The seemingly simple task of grabbing a box of cereal at the grocery store, turns into a 12 minute scavenger hunt, amid the 217 different types of cereal to choose from.

You stand at your closet every morning feeling inadequate.  You look at the sea of clothes and every piece suddenly has a complexity to it that you can’t seem to figure out.  Does that skirt I’ve had since 9th grade go with that modern day shirt?  Do stripes and plaid go together or is that just in home decor??

Here’s the deal…

We live in a society with many, many choices, and yes, we are totally blessed.  Most of us can afford to eat out from time to time.  Many of us actually go clothes shopping for fun (you know I don’t fall in this category!).

However, when the process of decision-making becomes overwhelming, inefficient, stressful, time consuming, or we’re just making bad choices, we’ve reached a point of decision fatigue.

Yes, there’s a term for it!

Decision fatigue is when we make worse decisions, or find it hard to make a decision at all, when we have, or have had, lots of decisions to make.

Here’s the question: How do we overcome decision fatigue?

My answer: We create a life with fewer decisions.

Of course, we can’t get rid of all decisions, but there are clear and very attainable choices we can make to facilitate a decision fatigue-less life.  To bring it home, let’s address the three areas of decision fatigue I mentioned earlier in this post regarding eating out, grocery shopping, and dressing yourself each day.

How to deal with restaurant menu selection fatigue:

  1. Just ask what the most popular item is and order that.  Period.  Whether you like it or not, record it.  (See step 3 below.)
  2. Find a favorite meal and order it every single time.  I’ve been ordering #20 at my favorite Mexican restaurant (shout out to Cocula’s!) for nearly five years and love every bite!  If someone judges you for your lack of experimentation, who cares!  Ignore them and enjoy your delicious meal.
  3. Keep a list of things you like at different restaurants in your phone or in a notebook you can keep with you.  Whip that baby out at order time and instead of spending 20 minutes reviewing the menu, enjoy your free time in the company of your dining partners.

How to deal with grocery store selection overwhelm:

  1. Shop where there aren’t so many options.
    Supermarket News (What?? You don’t read this publication??) published findings that indicate that “63% of consumers are willing to pay more for simpler experiences, and 69% are inclined to recommend a brand because it’s simple.”  Guess who was voted the world’s simplest brand for the 3rd year in a row?  Aldi!  My Aldi only has six aisles.  I heard a few people raving about Aldi a few years ago, went, and came away unimpressed and suspicious of everything.  I thought everything was either outdated or off-brand which equaled GROSS!  Oh, how my heart has changed!  After some serious prompting from friends who love and adore Aldi, I tried it again last year, with a new and improved attitude, and I love it!  There’s a blogger named Ruth who compiled a list of 15 things to buy at Aldi and 5 things to avoid, click here to check out her helpful list.  P.S. Publix grocery store, also received a high ranking in the simplicity department.  Publix is big, with way more aisles than Aldi has, but I do like it, too.
  2. Be prepared when you enter a grocery store.
    The two rules for grocery store shopping are: 1. Don’t enter a grocery store without a grocery list, and  2.  Stick to the outside aisles (this is where the healthier items are).  The key is to stick to your list and keep your eyes off the “shiny objects” that the marketers use to draw you in to the latest and greatest queso dip!   My friend Nancy has a printable grocery list she created in Excel that includes all the typical items she shops for by store and by aisle.  This helps to keep you organized, on track, and limits those, “Oh, man! I forgot the peanut butter!!” moments in the car ride home.   

How to deal with the daily clothing selection panic zone:

  1. Lay your clothes out the night before or even a week in advance.  I know this is the right thing to do, but I struggle with taking my own advice.  When I do, I’m a much happier person and probably look more put together, too.
  2. Wear the same thing every day.  (I am seriously contemplating this option.)
    I know this may sound like a stretch, but Mark Zuckerberg does it and he’s reasonably smart, right?  Here’s a picture from his closet that he posted on his Facebook page earlier this week:
    IMG_9711
    You may be saying, “Well, he’s a guy!  Guys can get away with wearing the same outfit every day…Hold on!  Ladies, here’s our role model!  Her name is Matilda Kahl and she’s the art director for a leading creative agency in NYC.  She’s got major street cred, awesome fashion sense, and made a decision to cut down on the stress she experienced with decision fatigue related to clothing choices.  She decided to wear the same outfit to work every day.  This is HUGE!  I could pull this off without much notice, but she’s the art director for a NYC agency!!  Here’s the cute outfit she landed on…simple and elegant:

    FRIDAY OUTFIT: Matilda Kahl had an epiphany after a particularly stressful morning trying to get to a meeting on time. It started out the way mornings do for many office dwellers picking out what to wear; a time-consuming process of mixing and matching pieces in the closet and tossing aside what doesn’t feel right. When she finally reached the office at Saatchi & Saatchi, an advertising firm in New York City, “I realized I was not only late, but with my sweater inside out. Kahl, an art director for the firm, found an elegant solution that would simplify her life. She chose a look she could wear every day: a white silk shirt with a diagonal button line from Zara — 15 of them, in fact — and a few pairs of black pants. Photo credit goes to Rasmus Keger.

    Photo credit: Rasmus Keger.

The moral of the story: Make life more simple, so you’re able to enjoy the life you have.

Question for you?  Do you struggle with decision fatigue?  What have you, or will you, cut down on to limit the fatigue?

As always, I appreciate you spending time with me here today, and appreciate your insight and thoughts, should you choose to share them.

Have an awesome day!

Jill xx

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Here’s How You Can Change The World

Having just commemorated Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I’ve reflected on the good Dr. King did in his lifetime and the example and legacy he left us with.  As the “holiday” passes by, I don’t want us to miss and to truly believe how the heart and actions of one person can change the world.

While some of us are destined to create monumental change in the world like Dr. King, others of us–no less important–have the opportunity to create change in smaller ways in our corner of the world.

Read this part slowly: Every single one of us (that’s you!) has the potential to make a significant impact in the world.  Some of you reading this may not believe you can make a difference.  You may think that in order to make a difference you need to have more money, more time, a different job, know more people, live somewhere else.  Not true.

As with Dr. King’s example, great impact happens when we take efforts to protect someone or something.

Dr. King took a stand to protect the rights and freedoms of others…he took intentional steps and created a movement of change.

You and I have the ability to create change, too.  One way is to take steps to protect others.

We can begin by thinking about and responding to Dr. King’s statement and question here: “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is: “What are you doing for others?”

Who or what needs protecting in your corner of the world?  

  • Your family…your children, your spouse–your marriage.
  • Your friends.
  • Your community.
  • The homeless.
  • The abused.
  • The nation.
  • Your students.
  • Your neighbors.
  • The young.
  • The elderly.
  • The earth.

How can these people and these things be protected?

By taking intentional steps to:

  • Act in love.
  • Be respectful.
  • Be diligent.
  • Be kind.
  • Set healthy boundaries.
  • Be present.
  • Learn more.
  • Act with compassion.
  • Find out how you can help someone.
  • Remind someone of their worth.
  • Be a shoulder to cry on.
  • Do something that needs to be done that no one else wants to do.
  • Have eyes of awareness and hands of action.
  • Educate others.
  • Take a stand.

Did you notice that the list includes things each and every one of us can do?  Today!  No one needs to wait on getting their doctorate degree, or to obtain a high-level executive job, or to accumulate gobs of money.

What action will you take today?  Will you start with your family, your neighborhood, your community, your place of work, the world at large?

Thank you, in advance, for your part in making this world a beautiful place.

Jill xx

Share the love by sharing this post with your friends, family, and co-workers. Thank you!

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One Gesture That Will Change The World

There are two kinds of people.  Those that remember names and those that don’t.  The first group will meet you once, then see you in the grocery store three months later, and say hello to you by name.  People who remember your name make you feel special, don’t they?

The other type (that’s me), can go into a social situation with a sincere intention to remember names, but fail miserably.  I’ve tried all the tricks:  there’s the old “meet and repeat” trick in which you say their name multiple times during the conversation.  The problem is, when I do this it makes me feel like an inauthentic salesperson.  Then there’s the association trick:  You meet a lady named Cathy Smith, so you might imagine a cat doing some blacksmith work.  This never works for me because when I try to recall my association, I’ll remember a bird on a boat or something completely unrelated!  (If you’re interested in trying out some techniques for remembering names, Forbes has a good list here .)

Bottom-line: Why is it important to remember names?  Because it’s a good way to connect with others, develop relationships, and it shows you care.

Whether you’re good at remembering names or not, I have another idea that every single person will be able to do immediately without any training or practice, and this one act has the power to change the world.

Interested?

Next time you shake someone’s hand, hold their hand in yours, look them in the eyes, and silently say a prayer or a blessing for them.  (NOTE: This works awesome with hugs too!)

Just a simple word or phrase:

“Bless her.”
“Help him.”
“Peace.”
“Love.”
“Give her strength.”
“Protect her.”
“Thank you.”

This simple practice, which doesn’t take longer than a second or two, is a powerful act of good will that I learned from Dr. Lloyd John Ogilvie, Chaplain of the United States Senate (1995-2003).

Friends, in a world where so many of our interactions are digital, it’s more important than ever to be intentional with our in-person, actual physical interactions, and what better way than this?

Ok, it’s your turn.  I challenge you to try this with three different people in the next couple days.  Don’t be shy in patting your grocery-bagger on the shoulder and sending up a prayer/blessing.  I’d love to hear back from you after you’ve done this.  Was it hard, awkward, surprisingly easy, fun?

Thanks for your part in making this world a better place!

Have an awesome day!

Jill xx

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Do You Need Some Rest?

A couple weeks ago I wrote about choosing a single word for the year and, since then, many people have shared their words with me.

One woman chose a word that, although you and I may not have selected the same word for ourselves, I think is worth mentioning as an intentional practice we would ALL do well to incorporate into our busy schedules.

Her word for the year was:

Rest.

Just saying the word gives me hope.  I even love the way the word looks!  Do you see how the “R” looks to be reclining?  It’s like the word is beckoning us in.  And if you draw out the pronunciation of the word, it’s almost meditative.  Try it… “Rrressssst”.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Rest.

Ahhh, that exercise already relaxed me some, but friends, we need more….rest.

As we kick off a new year, many of us are reviewing the events of last year and setting goals for the year to come, but unless you actually chose “rest” as your word for the year, you may have forgotten to be intentional with caring for yourself through rest. When we think of self-care, working out and eating right immediately come to mind.  Yes, these are wonderful ways to care for ourselves, but the idea of just “resting” is often overlooked.

Why?

Because in our fast-paced, multi-tasking, over-scheduled world, it’s not always easy to rest.

It can feel indulgent.  (It shouldn’t.)

Allowing yourself to rest can make you feel guilty.  (It shouldn’t.)

It seems like a luxury.  (It’s not…it’s a necessity.)

Rest should be part of your non-negotiable self-care routine.

In case you need a good reason or an argument backed with important facts in order to rest, here are three:

  1.  Rest rejuvenates your mind, body, and soul.
  2. Rest regulates your mood.
  3. Rest improves learning and memory function.

So, if you aren’t into rejuvenating your mind, body, and soul, don’t care if your mood is like a yo-yo, and don’t care much about your learning and memory function, go ahead and carry on as-is.

If you do care about taking care of yourself, and are willing to give yourself permission to enjoy some proper rest, then let’s see what you can do today, to make rest a reality in your life.

So….will you give yourself permission?

If you say yes, then go grab your calendar.

For real…get your calendar out.

Depending on your circumstances, you may have to schedule short, frequent times of rest…that is just great!  Maybe you’re at a time in your life, where you can schedule days or even a week for rest…that’s awesome too!

Ok, now, be realistic, but don’t be stingy with the time you’re going to devote to your rest.

Following are some scheduling suggestions:

Pick one or two of the following and schedule them out in your calendar for the next year.  I think you should use a pen.  There’s something honoring about scheduling self-care in with pen!

  • One hour per day.
  • One hour every two weeks.
  • One half to an entire day every 30 days.
  • One half to an entire day every 60 days.
  • One day per quarter (4x/yr).
  • One week every six months.
  • One week every year.
  • One month every year.  (Hey, we can dream, right?  Michael Hyatt takes a month long sabbatical every year.)

Will you do this?

It’s important.

If it still feels indulgent or is bringing up feelings of guilt, shut that voice out.

You deserve rest.

As you plan for your time and as the time approaches, be sure to make the most of your time–take your rest in a place of peace and quiet, with no distractions or interruptions.

I’m gonna be checking back with you later in the year.  I hope you will have a beautiful testimony to share.

With much love,

Jill xx

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Good News For The New Year

Were you ever given the task of erasing the chalkboards at school?  I loved it when my teacher asked me to do this…erasing away the day’s work in order to set the stage for a fresh start the next day.

The New Year often symbolizes a new beginning…a fresh start…a clean slate.

Confession: I’m not a big fan of January 1.  I don’t like the weight that one-single-day in our calendar holds.  So many people put all their hope of making life-altering changes beginning that day, and if/when they “fail” – which the majority that make New Year’s resolutions do – it feels EPIC.

Imagine if our teachers told us on the first day of school that what we put on the chalkboard the first day was it.  If you did a math problem, did your best to work it out on the board, but got it wrong–that was it.  Fail!  No more chances.

I think March 17th, June 3, August 29, and October 11th all hold just as much possibility and hope as January 1.  The reality is…there are 365 perfect days of opportunity…for ALL of us.

Whether you’ve made New Year’s resolutions this year, or not, I want you to remember that your life is like one big chalkboard.  There’s plenty of room for creating, learning, growing, failing, succeeding, pivoting, and making choices.

There’s one thing for certain, we’ll all experience success and failure.  It’s not only what we learn from these successes and failures, it’s what we do with them.

It takes momentum and perseverance, and in this big, busy, complicated world, there are lots of distractions and hurdles that pop up and threaten to throw us off course.

In an effort to help you handle the distractions and clear the hurdles, I’m going to be taking the first Saturday of each month in 2016 to address a common problem or roadblock many people struggle with.  Each post will identify the problem and present solutions to overcome.

Here’s the list of topics/areas of focus I’m thinking of covering.  As you read through the list, think about which you’d best like to see featured  on my blog.

Forgiveness.
Stress.
The importance of self love.
Humility.
Getting out of your own way.
Dealing with strained relationships.
Fear.
Time management.
Addiction.
Jealousy.
Learning to trust and/or to be trusted again.
Shame.
Emotional overwhelm.
Depression.
Worry.
Control issues.
Why you deserve to be happy.
Handling failure and mistakes.
Perspective.
Healthy communication techniques.

Here’s your part:  Please, please, please share your thoughts and ideas with me.  Which of these topics would serve you best?  Is there something you’d like to add?

Leave your comments below, on Facebook, via Twitter, DM me, or send me a private email (jillgottenstrater@gmail.com).

I really appreciate your feedback, as it helps me to write about what will benefit you most.

Thank you, friends!  Here’s to an awesome New Year (all 365 days of it)!

Jill xx

 

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