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Your Daily Dose of Intentional Living

Hi, friend.  I’m so glad you’re here!

Watch my video message as I share a bit on my recent blog break and some fun news for the month of November!

Click here to head over to my Facebook business page.

Facebook LIVE “Your Daily Dose of Intentional Living” starts on Tuesday November 1, 2016.
Monday – Friday at 7 a.m. ET.

I’ll still be posting here on Saturdays with the week’s wrap-up, but be sure to watch the videos each day to make the most of your efforts in living an intentional life.  (NOTE: Not available at 7 a.m. ET?  You can watch the video at any time after the LIVE broadcast, too.)

Click here to download your free Intention Journal page and follow along each day recording your own thoughts and intentions for the day.

See you on Tuesday!

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Blog Hiatus Announcement

Hi, sweet friends.  I have something to tell you today and I’m guessing some of you will be able to relate.  I’ll explain in the video why I opted for a video message today instead of my typical written format.

Here’s to taking time to:

Unplug.
Rest and recharge.
Reflect.
Be still.
Listen.
Write privately.
Make room for new things.

Y’all are the best!  Thank you for listening and understanding.

Jill xx

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Count Your (tiny) Blessings

I’ve heard from many of you after last week’s Tiny Habits post, that you’re excited and hopeful in creating your own Tiny Habits. Whether it’s a new habit we’re trying to master or a large project that looms before us, the act of breaking things down into small, manageable chunks makes it seem doable and even fun.  This got me thinking about other powerful “tiny” things.  Namely…

Tiny blessings. 

Have you noticed that the big, headline-worthy, miracle-sized blessings get all the attention?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for big blessings and they should be celebrated, but in the grand scheme of things, if we take note and give thanks for the daily tiny blessings in our lives, we will experience more gratitude and joy in our lives. 

We all experience these tiny blessings, but because of their wee size, they may get buried in the day-to-day stresses, activities, and routine.  If you don’t notice them, you might forget to give thanks for them, or to share one as an encouragement to someone else, or to acknowledge their faithful presence in your life.

Tiny blessings should not be overlooked.  It’s time to shine the spotlight on them!

Here are three simple ways to ensure you don’t miss out on the tiny blessings that come your way:

Use The Correct Lens: I recently spent the day with a photographer and was amazed at what he could capture just by switching out his lens: zooming in to capture detail that would easily be overlooked by the normal “roving” eye or using a widele lens that expanded his view, capturing detail in the periphery that might otherwise be missed.  It’s the same with us, we need to listen to our instincts and be present in the moment enough to realize when it’s time to switch out our lens.  Don’t get so caught up in the big picture or so bogged down in the minutia that you miss out on tiny blessings all around you.

Remember Your History: Every single one of us has tiny blessings dotted across the canvas of our lives.  Sometimes those small dots become blurry and distant.  It’s easy to forget our past blessings, but you don’t have to.  Keeping a record of your tiny blessings is a great way.  I do this in my gratitude journal, when nothing is too small.  When you get in a rut or go through a difficult time, it’s very encouraging to pull out the physical reminders of your blessings to give you hope and keep you going.

Be a Tiny Blessing Bless-er:  I’m sure you’ve heard the Bible verse, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”  I think Jesus was on to something here!  I’ve seen this firsthand to be true and I bet you have, too.  Whether it’s a kind word, gesture, or other loving act, being a blessing to someone else almost always has a way of leaving you feeling like you’ve been more blessed than the bless-ee.

Friends, don’t let the circumstances of life let the tiny blessing spottings disappear.  Keep your eyes and heart open and be prepared to be blessed!

Here’s to counting your (tiny) blessings!

Jill xx

 

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How To Get Big Results With Tiny Habits

Over the last couple months, I’ve found myself saying one of these types of sentences every Sunday evening (comes out as a very convincing self-pep-talk, by the way): “OK! Tomorrow, I will get back to exercising regularly;”  Or, “Tomorrow, I will get started on my new writing routine.  It’s gonna be amazing!”  Or, “Next weekend, I will start organizing the heaps of ‘very important’ stuff (that I haven’t found a need for in the last 15 years!) in the basement.”

Come Monday, the intentions are there, but lazy human nature kicks in and getting back to that exercise, writing, or de-cluttering plan gets sucked up by “quickly” checking Facebook or really just finding any random rabbit hole to run down.

Can you relate?

Sticking to good habits can be surprisingly difficult.  You’d think the benefits and transformation that come from practicing good habits would be incentive enough for us to never fall off the wagon.

The biggest habit-busting culprit for me is deviating from my normal routine.  For example, if I go on vacation, all good habit bets are off.  My idea of vacation is to unplug and not have anything hindering me from rest and relaxation.  There will be no schedules to tie me down!  Even if I veer from my routine for just a day or two, it sets me back.  I still haven’t convinced myself that I should stick to my normal routine while on vacation, but just realizing this tendency to abandon beneficial habits can help when you get home.  Admitting a problem is the first step in doing better, right?

Back in January, I came across an amazing method of creating and practicing habits: “Tiny Habits”.  The brain behind the “Tiny Habits” methodology, B.J. Fogg, is a behavior scientist and teacher at Stanford University.

Here’s how B.J. describes a Tiny Habit:

As I see it, a “Tiny Habit” is a behavior —

  • you do at least once a day
  • that takes you less than 30 seconds
  • that requires little effort

B.J. suggests you outline your tiny habit goal like this:

“After (or before) I {insert existing habit}, I will {insert new tiny habit}.”
Example:  “After I turn on the evening news, I will get on my exercise bike and begin pedaling.”

The genius of his habit-creating system is that you are anchoring a very simple and tiny new habit to an existing habit.  For example, I chose something I do every day — my existing habit of taking a shower — and anchored it to one of my new tiny habits (doing 10 push-ups).  Several months later, I’m here to testify that this tiny habit has stuck.  NOTE: In the first couple weeks, there would be days where I’d be in the shower and realize I’d forgotten to do my push-ups.  To help with this, I wrote myself a note and stuck it to my mirror.  As an additional note/disclaimer….I do girl push-ups.  : )

The first three tiny habits I initially set out to create were:

  • Before I shower, I will do 10 push-ups
  • After I begin to brew coffee, I will drink one glass of water.
  • Before I get out of bed each morning, I will name three things I am grateful for.

Since it’s been a while and I’ve developed these tiny habits into regular habits, I’m working on a new tiny habit: “After I walk the dogs, I will do my 7-Minute Workout app routine.”  Since I’m already in casual clothes and maybe even sweaty, why not keep up the momentum of exercise, right?

Something Tiny Habits creator B.J. Fogg stresses in one’s efforts to create tiny habits, is to keep it very simple.  Here are a few tiny habit examples he shares on his blog:

“After I start the dishwasher, I will read one sentence from a book.”

“After I walk in my door from work, I will get out my workout clothes.”

“After I sit down on the train, I will open my sketch notebook.”

“After I hear any phone ring, I will exhale and relax for 2 seconds.”

You may be wondering what the point is to “read one sentence from a book” or just “open a sketch notebook”.  The mindset behind this is that if you take the first tiny little step, chances are you’ll take the next, too.  Momentum generally builds upon one tiny little action.  Can you imagine getting your book out (after starting the dishwasher) and truly only reading one sentence??  Or getting your sketch book out on the train and only drawing one line??

I have a friend that also began implementing tiny habits and he created a list to help him see the variety of daily habits he could potentially anchor to and those which might trigger a new tiny habit.  In other words, he uses these regular activities to activate new tiny habits to help him reach his goals.

Here’s his “trigger” or “anchor” list:

Around the house

  • Throw something away in trash
  • Throw something away in recycle
  • Feed Chloe (Jill note: this is his dog)
  • Let Chloe out
  • Go to the bathroom
  • Make coffee
  • Turn on TV
  • Turn off/on lights
  • Turn on/off faucets
  • Wash hands
  • Change diapers (Jill note: he and his wife have two adorable twin girls!)

Getting ready for day/winding down

  • Shower
  • Wake up
  • Put on clothes
  • Change clothes for bed
  • Put in/take out contacts
  • Turn on shower
  • Towel off after shower

Work related

  • Get in car to go to work
  • Get in car to go home
  • Walk into work
  • Turn on work computer

Food related

  • Eat breakfast
  • Eat lunch
  • Eat dinner

An example of how he uses the above actions to create benefiting habits — before stepping into the shower, he has committed himself to 3 push-ups (at least).

So, here’s my challenge for you today: Decide on 3 tiny habits that you can begin to practice today.  It might be helpful to create your own habit trigger/anchor list like my friend did to help you see the bountiful opportunities you, too, have on any given day.

Remember, the key is to keep it super simple and trust in the process.

If you’re willing, I’d love to hear what tiny habits you’re going to implement into your daily routine.  Let me know in the comment section below.

You can do this!!

Jill xx

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The Need to Lead With Compassion

Have you ever made a mistake and were treated as if you’d just committed the biggest sin in the world?

Have you ever had your heart broken?

Have you ever suffered a horrific loss?

Have you ever felt so depressed you didn’t want to get out of bed?

Have you ever experienced anxiety?

Have you ever been homesick?

Have you ever prayed for something for a long time and realized the prayer might not be answered in the way you like?

Have you ever been stabbed in the back by someone you trusted?

Have you ever sat by the bedside of a dying loved one that is being taken too soon?

Have you ever gone through a divorce?

Have you ever said something unkind to someone and later felt disgusted with yourself and like a total jerk?

Have you ever had a huge fight with your spouse or friend, but had to go on with your day with a smile on your face anyway?

Have you ever had to tell an aging parent that you’re going to need to move them in to a nursing home?

Have you ever been in an abusive relationship and don’t see a way out?

Have you ever struggled with major self-doubt or even self-loathing?

Have you ever received news of something growing in your body that threatens to take your life?

Have you ever struggled with changing a bad habit, but your attempts are fruitless?

Have you ever felt miserably alone in a crowded world?

Friends, we don’t know what people are going through in their personal lives.  There are all kinds of opportunities in this world for pain, heartache, and suffering.  More than likely, you’ve been there.  I’ve been there, too.

We’ve all experienced a rude checker at the grocery store, a less than friendly customer service rep after being on hold for 27 minutes, an aggressive driver on the road, or someone who snaps at us for no reason.  This could just be a clueless person with poor manners, but more than likely, it’s someone going through a difficult time and their burden is manifesting itself in ugly ways.

Can you imagine If everyone walked around with a news-type ticker detailing what turmoil or pain was going on under the surface?  I think we’d be shocked at what some are shouldering at any given moment.

Some people hide pain well, managing to keep a smile on their face.  However, If you were to really look in their eyes, you would see their smile is only on the surface.  Others may act rude, short-tempered, or angry.  This behavior, while not a good thing, is often caused by fear, powerlessness, rejection, guilt, and vulnerability.

While we can’t change the fact that pain and suffering will occur, we can make a conscious decision on how we conduct ourselves with those we come in contact with in-person, over the phone, or online.

Let’s open our hearts.  Let’s extend grace.  Let’s think before we speak and act.  Let’s listen.  Let’s look in each others eyes.  Let’s open our arms.  Let’s forgive.  Let’s be kind to one another.

Let’s lead with compassion.

With love,

Jill xx

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When Overcome by Tragedy

Tragedy.  Pain.  Terror.  Suffering.  Sadness.  Fear.  Injustice.  Evil. 

Are you feeling overcome by all the tragedy that’s going on in the world today?  I am.

As the death toll rises due to the horrific actions of a madman in Nice, France this week, I’m thinking of the individual lives that have been stolen away.  Who were they?  What did they dream about doing one day?  What made them laugh?  What were their hobbies?  Do they have siblings?  How did their family hear the news?  How will their family get through this?

I’ve thought about the driver/shooter too.  What took place in his life that would allow him to make the choice he did that day? Was he ever bullied?  Abused by his parents?  Was he innately evil?  Mentally ill?  Could someone have come alongside him in his life and have been a positive influence, so none of this would have happened?  How could this have been stopped??

We may never have answers to some of these questions, but I think it’s important to ask them.

Don’t allow the death toll numbers and multiple incidences of tragedy you hear on the news desensitize you to the individual lives and needs involved.   What most breaks your heart?  Is it the pain that these people’s families will experience?  Find out how you can serve people in your own community experiencing the pain of loss?  Is it that a child was orphaned?  Think about becoming a foster parent or an adoptive parent.  Is mental illness involved in a situation?  Find out how you can help.

Friends, instead of feeling overwhelmed, fear-filled, and sick from these senseless acts, use your heartache to help others.  Take action.  There are people out there, right in your own community, or maybe even across the world, that need you.

Thank you for taking this to heart and for being a source of good and light in this world.

Go and love.

Jill xx

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The Power of Love – 5 Ways to Spread Love Today

Have you ever seen something horrible take place and you feel like you–just one little person–have no way of making a difference that will matter? 

This feeling of powerlessness comes from a belief that you have no control over your environment.  Your environment including your own personal space, the space around your closest relationships, your neighborhood, your local, regional and state-wide community, your country, and the world as a whole.

The truth is we do have the power to take action and make a difference and it’s as simple as loving one another.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” —  Leo Buscaglia

Did you catch that last part?  The potential to turn a life around.  Through simple acts of love.

There’s nothing in Leo’s list that you and I don’t have the power to initiate today.

Here are five ideas to take action and begin spreading love today:

#RANDOMLOVELETTER: I recently came across an Instagram challenge called #randomloveletter.  The creators of this challenge asked participants to write a positive note and post it in a public place (power pole, library book, restaurant menu, park bench, waiting room) for someone to find.  No fancy stationary necessary.  Just write your note on a post-it, scratch pad paper, or the back of a recycled piece of paper.  Who knows how your written words will bless someone?

There’s an annual challenge that takes place in June every year in which you place your love letter somewhere, take a picture and tag it with #randomloveletter on Instagram and/or Twitter.  Click here for the 2016 challenge recap and to get some inspiration for your notes.  You may choose to participate in this challenge each year, but let’s agree to keep the love flowing throughout the year.  Is there such thing as too many random love letters?  I think not.

MORE LOVE LETTERS:  Hannah Brencher founded a movement whose mission is to “Make Love Famous”.  How awesome is that!! There are three ways to participate and help Hannah with her mission:

  1. Mail a letter to someone who is experiencing a tough spot in their lives.  The love letter recipients have been secretly nominated and will receive the surprise love letters from people like you and me from across the globe.  Their nomination stories appear right here.  Do you know someone who could use a good dose of love right now?  Click here to nominate them.
  2. Leave a letter.  Much like the #RandomLoveLetter, you write a lovely letter and leave it in a public place for someone to find.
  3. Know a college student?  Hannah has started a movement in which students can start a More Love Letters chapter on their campus.  This so would have been up my alley when I was in college!!

PAY IT FORWARD:  I’m sure you’ve heard of this idea…you respond to a person’s kindness to oneself by being kind to someone else. Maybe you buy a cup of coffee for the unsuspecting person behind you in line, or extend a wish of goodwill to a stranger you cross paths with, or call a helpful clerk’s supervisor to praise their excellent customer service.  All these gestures promote love and goodwill.

There’s an actual day to pay it forward too! Although I hope you won’t wait to pay it forward, the next official day is April 28, 2017.  While you’re paying it forward throughout the year, you could also be planning on a big push for that actual day with your friends, kids, church group, or school.  Get people excited and talking about it.  The creators of this day are hoping to inspire over 10 million acts of kindness around the world on April 28, 2017. Spread the love, friends!

The Pay It Forward Day website has some great resources and ideas on how to get involved for individuals, businesses, and schools.  Check that out here.

VIRTUALLY SHARE RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS STORIES TO INSPIRE OTHERS:  Performing a random act of kindness is just like the pay it forward idea, but because we live in a digital age and so many of us spend heaps of time online, why not focus on spreading love virtually through inspiring stories of random acts of kindness.  The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation has a great website with a collection of these types of inspiring stories, videos, and quotes that you can share with others to light up their day.  Click here to be inspired and share away!

THE POWER OF PRAYER:  Lift your hearts and your voices in prayer, my friends.  My faith calls me to pray without ceasing and I’ve seen firsthand how prayer changes things.  God is LOVE and He is listening.

Friends, I hope you’ve been inspired to take action and love boldly today.

Here’s to changing the world with one act of love at a time!

With love,

Jill

P.S. Since we’re on the subject of love…did you know there’s a whole day committed to hugging?  For real!  National Hugging Day takes place every year on January 21st. Why wait though?  Let’s get some practice and go hug on someone today.

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The Value in Learning From The Young

When’s the last time you sat down and tried to learn something new from a young person?  A time in which you actually asked them to show you how to do something?  Whether it be how to draw a dinosaur from a 7-year-old, how to perform a dance move from a 10-year-old, or how to solve a math problem from a 15-year-old — youngsters are literally a treasure trove of knowledge and it’s our loss if we leave this resource untapped.

I think we adults have a tendency to slip into know-it-all mode–wanting to impart our vast and excellent knowledge on the young. Unfortunately, along the way, we miss out on some pretty great learning and relational opportunities.

This reminder to embrace what the young have to offer most recently came to me as my son, a 19-year-old college student living across the country, told me that my gift for mother’s day could either be 1.)  A custom-designed tee-shirt (he makes some really cool stuff!), or 2.) Five 1-hour guitar lessons (redeemable during his time home in the summer).

A little history… I’ve never played an instrument, and have shared with my son and husband over the years that I was probably one of those people that just doesn’t have the “music gene”.  I also was thinking that since my son had never been formally coached on guitar, that he might not be a great person for a beginner to learn from.

Well, in a moment of what I now see as brilliance, I chose his offer of guitar lessons.

Turns out he’s a really good teacher and I’m learning this beautiful Ben Harper song.  So, whether this is the only song I ever learn, or I continue on after he goes back to school, I wouldn’t trade in the experience to learn from this youngster.

So, how about you?  Will you join me this summer in asking a kid to teach you something?  Maybe you have kids at home, grand-kids, nieces/nephews, neighborhood kids, or kids at church.  It’s prime time to be intentional in engaging with these youngsters and learn something new.

Enjoy the fresh perspective!!

Jill xx

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Where is The Love?

Have you ever tried to say or do something and it feels like you have a golf ball stuck in your throat?  This is how I’ve felt as I’ve attempted to work through my feelings in order to write this post this week.

I’ve been thinking about love.  Brotherly love.

I’ve been thinking about heartache, pain and suffering.  The kind that people all over the world are experiencing.

I’ve been thinking about how great it is that the internet offers a place for people to share thoughts and ideas—support, understanding, oneness…love.

And then I think about how awful it is that the internet offers a place for people to share thoughts and ideas—ugliness, self-righteousness, hostility…hate.

Part of the golf ball stuck in my throat feeling is that as an optimist, I’m seeing things that are darkening the lens that I see and live my life through.

It came to me this morning that this darkness that has cast a shadow over our world provides us an opportunity to see the contrast.  To see where the cracks are.  To see where the voids are.  To see the places where we can step in and make a difference.  Through love.

The good news is that we’re all capable of being a loving force in this world.  No doctorate degree needed.

A simple act of love can change things.  Love can heal…can change hearts…can bind us together.  Love is a force that is more powerful than hate.

Not sure how to begin or where to start?  Recently I wrote about just doing the next thing when you’re stuck or overwhelmed–that same concept works here.  Don’t overthink it–just go and love on someone.  Be nice to the person who is painfully slow in front of you at the grocery store.  Be kind to your significant other (yes, some of us just need to start at home).  Go and hang out with someone that’s different than you and love them by listening with an ear for understanding (Note: listening with an ear for understanding doesn’t mean you will agree, it just means you hear them).  Tell someone that you appreciate them and why.  Find out where you can spread love in your community through volunteerism.  Perform a random act of kindness in the name of love.

There are many small ways to begin, and these small ways, practiced on a consistent basis, will change the world, one act at a time.

We just need to act.

Starting today.

With love,

Jill xx

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Are You Making Decisions Based on Fear or Joy?

As summer rolls around, there will be lots of opportunities to do stuff.  It’s a nice feeling when we have time, choices, and a variety of opportunities in front of us, but just make sure you’re not making decisions based on the fear of missing out.

Fear of missing out, or FOMO, is when a person experiences anxiety at the thought of missing out on an exciting or interesting event.  Chances are, when people make decisions based on their fear of missing out, they aren’t thinking about how missing out might actually bring them joy.  Yes, there’s a term for that too!  JOMO = Joy of Missing Out.

Imagine on Friday night a bunch of your friends decide to get together at the new (and highly anticipated) restaurant in town.  You’ve heard the food is divine, and to top it off, this particular evening they have an award-winning cellist playing.  It all sounds great, but the reality is, you’ve worked hard all week and you’re dead-tired.  You have two choices.  Which wins?  FOMO or JOMO?  P.S. JOMO includes kicking up your feet in your favorite chair or couch, pajamas, and a good book or movie.  Unless you’re under the age of 35, I’m thinking most of us would seize the opportunity to embrace the joy of missing out.

Either way, a life in which we make decisions based on joy, as opposed to reacting to fear, is always a good choice.

So, as opportunities present themselves in the coming days, weeks, months, and years, try and run your decisions through your FOMO/JOMO filter.

The switch from FOMO to JOMO will be difficult for some, while others will find the transition easy and life-affirming.

One way to do this is learning to understand the underlying factors for your FOMO.  On the flip-side, it’s also important to understand what it is that brings you the most joy.

Following are a couple suggestions:

  1.  Make a list of likes/priorities and dislikes/unimportant  

You know I’m big on getting things out on paper.  Some of my best thinking comes from brain-dumping and mind-mapping.  There’s such power in emptying your mind of all thoughts on a certain topic and then seeing them there in front of you in black and white.

So, get your paper out and divide it into two columns.

On the left side, write out what activities (including doing nothing) you value and get the most out of.  On this same column write out who (by name) is most important to you.  For example, if one of the activities you include as a priority is building relationships, then make sure to be clear on who or what type of person you would like to invest your time in.  If you don’t narrow it down, you may find yourself saying yes to things and people that meet your goal of building relationships, but in reality you’re investing your time and energy into the wrong people.

On the right side of your paper, write out things you don’t consider a valuable investment of your time.  Include the things you have a tendency to get sucked into, but that aren’t necessarily important to you.  Think about the things that you say yes to because of your fear of missing out.  You’re going to have to be real honest with yourself here.

  1. Reflect on the causes for both your fears and joys.    

FEAR

Now that you’ve got this all down on paper, it’s time to understand what’s causing you fear of missing out on something.  Here are some possible reasons:

Fear of not being in the “know”.
Fear of not being invited again.
Fear of others experiencing things that you won’t.
Fear of being left out.
Fear of living a life that isn’t what people would expect from you.
Fear of disappointing others.  (Hand raised over here!  I’m a recovering people-pleaser and can attest to the hard work this takes to overcome.)

Whatever the reason for your fear of missing out, the key is to identify it and begin working toward eradicating it.  Sometimes all you’ll need is to identify the problem and make a decision to stop thinking or acting a certain way.  Other times, you’ll have to do some soul-searching and maybe even partake in counseling to overcome your fears.

JOY

Now, for the fun part!  Spend some time reflecting on what brings you joy.

Is it from spending time with people you love?  Your faith?  Wild experiences?  Helping others?  Spending time alone?  A hobby?  Your work?

You’ll find that when you frame your choices around doing that which brings you joy, any FOMO will be replaced with JOMO.  As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “For everything you have missed, you have gained something else.”

The key to JOMO is being selective with who, what, where, and when you spend your time and attention.  Yes, you miss out on things, but you won’t mind because you’re CHOOSING JOY!

Have you experienced FOMO?  Do you think framing your decisions with the idea of JOMO will help you?  Please leave  a comment below, I’d love to hear from you.

Jill xx

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