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The Art of Listening Well

Have you ever been talking to someone and their eyes either glaze over or start scanning the room?  They’re clearly not listening, and you’re thinking, “Hey! Excuuuuuse me, but am I boring you to death over here?!”  This happened to me at a conference, and instead of just ending the conversation with this rude person and moving on, I began to speak faster and rattle.  This un-engaged listener was causing ME to feel uncomfortable!

The lack of listening skills has declined in our fast paced digital world, and I expect will only get worse.

It’s not unusual to see people in conversation, and the minute a text or other notification on their phone comes in, their attention is divided–if not completely stolen away–as they check their device.  I’ve been guilty of this and I bet you have, too.  Remember the days, when you had to wait to get home and check the cassette tape on your answering machine for a message from someone??

Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask for someone’s undivided attention when you’re talking with them (especially if it’s just for a few minutes).

Or is it?

Researchers and authors Bob Sullivan and Hugh Thompson tell us that “The human brain has the capacity to digest as much as 400 words per minute of information. But even a speaker from New York City talks at around 125 words per minute. That means three-quarters of your brain could very well be doing something else while someone is speaking to you.”

This leaves a lot of room for us, as listeners, to be thinking about other stuff, and not being the good listeners our mama’s taught us to be.

Sometimes, all it takes is a reminder (this post, or a bad experience of not being listened to well) and an intention to change to be better at something.  So, today, let’s all try to be better listeners.  While we’re at it, can we also agree to teach the children in our lives how to be good listeners, too?

Following are 5 tips to master the art of listening well: 

  1. Listen to learn.  This is especially true for friends and family.  You can learn a lot about people’s likes and dislikes, their dreams and aspirations, their fears and heartaches when you listen with an intention to learn more about them.  I have a friend — you know who you are, Linda — who is the best at this.  The details she remembers about her friends and family is uncanny.  I could mention three years ago how I love macadamia nuts with cinnamon glaze, because it reminded me of a cinnamon-colored pony I had when I was young, and one day she’ll show up on my doorstep with a box of nuts and a sweet and thoughtful note with a picture that looks exactly like my pony from years gone by!!!  People that listen and remember special things like this make you feel so “listened to”!  (NOTE: for those that, like me, don’t have the capacity to remember these things like my friend Linda does, maybe we should keep track of fun family and friend details in a notebook).
  2. Ask questions.  Asking questions is an excellent feeder and developer for good conversation.  Using this technique will help you to stay engaged and learn more about the person you’re talking with: both good listening skills.
  3. Don’t listen with an ulterior motive.  Don’t be the “listener” who is fidgeting and silently mouthing words that they want to say the instant they get the chance.  This type of person is only thinking about themselves and are not listening at all.  Now, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t engage with people in life and business that you’d like to talk to because you could benefit from their knowledge, resources, or connections somehow.  Just don’t enter conversations only to give your two cents or be a selfish taker.
  4. Listen with your heart.  Someone may say something to you, that if you’re not listening well, may slip by.  There’s a chance that what slipped by was very important, just not super obvious to the casual listener.  Maybe it’s a friend who is suffering from depression and is “asking for help”, or someone who needs a safe place to talk about something difficult they’re going through in their marriage, with their kids, or at work.  When you open your heart’s ears, you’d be surprised all that’s being said.
  5. Follow the Golden Rule of listening.  Last, but not least, remember to follow the Golden Rule of listening: “Listen to those as you would have those listen unto you.”

Friends, you know how it feels to be properly listened to, so here’s to more of that and more of you being a good listener to others.

Have an awesome day!

Jill xx

P.S. I’d love it if you’d share this post with your friends, family, and co-workers.

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My New Website!

You may or may not have noticed, but my blog went dark for the last couple weeks.

And, unless you’re a subscriber to my blog (they all got the inside scoop about my site being down via email), you may have thought I was taken by aliens.  Wait!  Did you alert the authorities that I was missing??  You should probably call them and let them know I’m OK.  Well, I wasn’t really missing, but, come to think of it, I did notice that no one sent help for me!!  People, have we not developed a little bit of a love relationship over the years?!

I know….you have a life.  Good for you!  Just know that I missed, virtually, hanging out with you here the last few Saturdays.

So, my site was down for a few weeks, not because of the aliens, but because it was being beautified!  Yes, my blog website had a well-deserved makeover.

Why a new site?  Well, I did it for YOU, and I did it for ME.  Here are my 4 main reasons:

  1. I wanted my site to look better and allow a better user experience for my current readers and the readers to come.
  2. I will be writing (guest posting) for other blogs and publications in the future and needed to “up my game” a bit.
  3. I wanted my site to highlight my mentoring services.  I have mentored women for years and have decided to use my blog as a place where people who might benefit from my services can find me and can find useful content that will help them. Details here.
  4. In girl terms, I just felt like my blog deserved a new hairdo and nice swingy sundress (yes, I’m aware that last part sounds like it could be a Taylor Swift song!).  I’ve been writing here since 2014 and this was a treat to myself for my hard work.  Don’t let those two little words “hard work” mislead you… I love all that I get to do on and through my blog!
    A big thank you to Liz, in Austin, TX, who worked her magic to beautify my site!

So…take a look around, make yourself at home, check back often (especially in the “Resources” section–I’m often asked what books I’m reading, so I’ve begun to start a list for you with a smidge of insight on each one from me.)

We’ll be back to our regular scheduled broadcast next Saturday.

IMPORTANT NOTE for new and current subscribers:  Some people have told me that they’d subscribed, but weren’t getting my blogs via email on Saturday morning.  Well, lo and behold, the email went in their SPAM folder!  Ugh!  So please, if you’ve already subscribed, go look in your Spam folder and mark my emails as non-spam or drag them into your primary inbox.  You can also hit “reply” to one of those emails and shoot me an email and that will let your computer know that we’re friends.

If you’re not already a subscriber to my blog, get on that!!  You’ll get my Saturday posts emailed directly to your inbox + you’ll be the first to hear insider scoops, like alien abductions and the like.

Looking forward to seeing you next Saturday, right here!

Cheers!  Jill xx

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29 Ways to Love Yourself

Remember the song, 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover?  In this week’s post, I’m sharing 29 ways to love yourself.  Sounds a little more upbeat, don’t ya think?

Why 29?

Because I thought we should celebrate the fact that it’s a leap year — a year that only comes along once every four years, and includes an extra day.  That extra day is February 29.  Crazy cool fact: Both my sister-in-law and her first daughter were born on leap year…there’s only a 1 in 2-million chance of that happening!  I think there’s at least a 4 in 2-million chance of seeing a unicorn!

Since February is a month symbolizing and celebrating love, I thought we’d look inward and focus on ways to practice self-love.

Now, when I suggest we turn inward and focus on self-love, that’s a good thing and shouldn’t be confused with being self-centered or narcissistic.  Self-love is critical to maintaining a healthy, happy, and balanced life.  When we love ourselves well, we are more loveable to others too, so you can’t go wrong.

Loving yourself shouldn’t be complicated, but it can take intention and effort.  I’ve listed out 29 ways to show love to yourself. These suggestions are ones that I, personally, use or that may be beneficial to you.  Of course, there may be things that would better show love to yourself that aren’t on this list–focus on what will serve you best.

Some of the ideas below are easier and take less time than others–great!  Others will take some reflection, some soul-searching, and maybe some accountability or support in other ways.

Here’s how I suggest you use the list:

1.  Either print this post or get a notebook out to write down the items in step #3.

2.  Read through the list and place a check-mark next to the areas where you feel like you’re already showing yourself love in those ways.  Good job on those, by the way!

3.   Now go back through the list and circle 1-3 of the actions you’ll commit to working on throughout the next month.

4.  At the end of the month, review the 1-3 actions you’ve been working on and, if you’ve noticed great improvement, place a check-mark next to the item.  If you haven’t noticed great improvement, continue working on your love goal.

29 Ways to Love on Yourself 

  1. Surround yourself with people that lift you, inspire you, and make you feel good.
  2. Get rid of toxic people in your life.
  3. Speak kindly to yourself.  Don’t say things to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone you respected or loved.
  4. Laugh often.  Laughter is salve for the soul.
  5. Take walks, on a regular basis, with no other goal but to notice the beauty around you.
  6. Sleep at least 7 hours every night.  The National Sleep Foundation recommends 7+ hours/night for adults.
  7. Exercise.  30-minutes per day is ideal.
  8. Stretch your body.  There’s a reason cats seem so content…they stretch a lot. Click here for 10 simple stretches to try today.
  9. Eat well.  Maybe this just means to add a salad to your diet every day.  Maybe it means consuming less sugar.  Maybe it means drink more milk.  Check out this book, Eat Right 4 Your Type, that’ll help you to choose foods that agree with you based on your blood type.
  10. Don’t compare yourself to others.  Focus on, and celebrate, your own special gifts and abilities.
  11. Read books that you enjoy or make you feel good.
  12. Say “no” more often.  Saying no to someone or something is not bad.  Saying no leaves you open to really good yes’s.
  13. Write a letter to God and pour your heart out.
  14. Spend five minutes writing down what your perfect day would look like.  Now, plan to make it happen.
  15. Skip the doughnut…start your day with a healthy, delicious green smoothie.  Try this one with only four ingredients.
  16. Write in a gratitude journal daily.  I have a bunch of journaling ideas here.
  17. Take a 24-hour social media break.  Better yet, take a week or a month away from all the screens that suck up time.
  18. Do more of what you love.  If you love to play cards, but rarely play, schedule a weekly or monthly card night.
  19. Learn something that you’ve always wanted to.  Take a class, teach yourself, or learn online.  Just Google, “How to (put a word(s) for whatever it is you want to learn here)” and see what strikes your fancy.
  20. Write a list of things other people say you do well, or they like about you.  Keep that list handy for when you need encouragement.
  21. Let go of a grudge you’ve held for far too long.  Releasing the grudge = your freedom and peace.
  22. Cut yourself some slack.  Have you noticed, we can be our own worst critic?  Just treat yourself fairly.
  23. Being an adult can be exhausting, so spend more time acting like a kid. Need some ideas on how? I wrote about it here.
  24. Accept who you are.  Change what you can and want to, and accept the rest.
  25. Go on a personal retreat where you will come away rested, renewed, re-energized, inspired, and clear on “stuff”.
  26. Be a blessing to someone else.  Funny thing is, you will be blessed yourself by this action.
  27. Keep a happiness jar (aka: blessing box & gratitude jar).  Just write down things you are thankful for, that make you happy or make you laugh, etc. on a little piece of paper and store them in a jar.  Pull them out and read when you need some encouragement.  Here’s a cute DIY Happiness Jar with step-by-step instructions.
  28. Invest in yourself.  This ties in to some of the earlier items on the list like taking a class, going on a retreat, etc.  It may be that you finally buy that Kitchen Aide mixer you’ve always dreamed of to start your cupcake business.  Maybe you’ve wanted to attend a conference, spend time learning something new, or buy a good camera to develop your photography hobby.
  29. Believe in yourself.  This will come more naturally the more you love yourself, but if you’re not there yet, try and be your own cheerleader.  If you’ve ever been an encouragement to someone else, then remember what that was like and do the same for yourself…you deserve it.

Here’s to loving ourselves and others!

Love,

Jill xx

 

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Are You Experiencing Decision Fatigue?

Who’s with me?

You love Chinese food, but the 72 page menu is a bit overwhelming.

The seemingly simple task of grabbing a box of cereal at the grocery store, turns into a 12 minute scavenger hunt, amid the 217 different types of cereal to choose from.

You stand at your closet every morning feeling inadequate.  You look at the sea of clothes and every piece suddenly has a complexity to it that you can’t seem to figure out.  Does that skirt I’ve had since 9th grade go with that modern day shirt?  Do stripes and plaid go together or is that just in home decor??

Here’s the deal…

We live in a society with many, many choices, and yes, we are totally blessed.  Most of us can afford to eat out from time to time.  Many of us actually go clothes shopping for fun (you know I don’t fall in this category!).

However, when the process of decision-making becomes overwhelming, inefficient, stressful, time consuming, or we’re just making bad choices, we’ve reached a point of decision fatigue.

Yes, there’s a term for it!

Decision fatigue is when we make worse decisions, or find it hard to make a decision at all, when we have, or have had, lots of decisions to make.

Here’s the question: How do we overcome decision fatigue?

My answer: We create a life with fewer decisions.

Of course, we can’t get rid of all decisions, but there are clear and very attainable choices we can make to facilitate a decision fatigue-less life.  To bring it home, let’s address the three areas of decision fatigue I mentioned earlier in this post regarding eating out, grocery shopping, and dressing yourself each day.

How to deal with restaurant menu selection fatigue:

  1. Just ask what the most popular item is and order that.  Period.  Whether you like it or not, record it.  (See step 3 below.)
  2. Find a favorite meal and order it every single time.  I’ve been ordering #20 at my favorite Mexican restaurant (shout out to Cocula’s!) for nearly five years and love every bite!  If someone judges you for your lack of experimentation, who cares!  Ignore them and enjoy your delicious meal.
  3. Keep a list of things you like at different restaurants in your phone or in a notebook you can keep with you.  Whip that baby out at order time and instead of spending 20 minutes reviewing the menu, enjoy your free time in the company of your dining partners.

How to deal with grocery store selection overwhelm:

  1. Shop where there aren’t so many options.
    Supermarket News (What?? You don’t read this publication??) published findings that indicate that “63% of consumers are willing to pay more for simpler experiences, and 69% are inclined to recommend a brand because it’s simple.”  Guess who was voted the world’s simplest brand for the 3rd year in a row?  Aldi!  My Aldi only has six aisles.  I heard a few people raving about Aldi a few years ago, went, and came away unimpressed and suspicious of everything.  I thought everything was either outdated or off-brand which equaled GROSS!  Oh, how my heart has changed!  After some serious prompting from friends who love and adore Aldi, I tried it again last year, with a new and improved attitude, and I love it!  There’s a blogger named Ruth who compiled a list of 15 things to buy at Aldi and 5 things to avoid, click here to check out her helpful list.  P.S. Publix grocery store, also received a high ranking in the simplicity department.  Publix is big, with way more aisles than Aldi has, but I do like it, too.
  2. Be prepared when you enter a grocery store.
    The two rules for grocery store shopping are: 1. Don’t enter a grocery store without a grocery list, and  2.  Stick to the outside aisles (this is where the healthier items are).  The key is to stick to your list and keep your eyes off the “shiny objects” that the marketers use to draw you in to the latest and greatest queso dip!   My friend Nancy has a printable grocery list she created in Excel that includes all the typical items she shops for by store and by aisle.  This helps to keep you organized, on track, and limits those, “Oh, man! I forgot the peanut butter!!” moments in the car ride home.   

How to deal with the daily clothing selection panic zone:

  1. Lay your clothes out the night before or even a week in advance.  I know this is the right thing to do, but I struggle with taking my own advice.  When I do, I’m a much happier person and probably look more put together, too.
  2. Wear the same thing every day.  (I am seriously contemplating this option.)
    I know this may sound like a stretch, but Mark Zuckerberg does it and he’s reasonably smart, right?  Here’s a picture from his closet that he posted on his Facebook page earlier this week:
    IMG_9711
    You may be saying, “Well, he’s a guy!  Guys can get away with wearing the same outfit every day…Hold on!  Ladies, here’s our role model!  Her name is Matilda Kahl and she’s the art director for a leading creative agency in NYC.  She’s got major street cred, awesome fashion sense, and made a decision to cut down on the stress she experienced with decision fatigue related to clothing choices.  She decided to wear the same outfit to work every day.  This is HUGE!  I could pull this off without much notice, but she’s the art director for a NYC agency!!  Here’s the cute outfit she landed on…simple and elegant:

    FRIDAY OUTFIT: Matilda Kahl had an epiphany after a particularly stressful morning trying to get to a meeting on time. It started out the way mornings do for many office dwellers picking out what to wear; a time-consuming process of mixing and matching pieces in the closet and tossing aside what doesn’t feel right. When she finally reached the office at Saatchi & Saatchi, an advertising firm in New York City, “I realized I was not only late, but with my sweater inside out. Kahl, an art director for the firm, found an elegant solution that would simplify her life. She chose a look she could wear every day: a white silk shirt with a diagonal button line from Zara — 15 of them, in fact — and a few pairs of black pants. Photo credit goes to Rasmus Keger.

    Photo credit: Rasmus Keger.

The moral of the story: Make life more simple, so you’re able to enjoy the life you have.

Question for you?  Do you struggle with decision fatigue?  What have you, or will you, cut down on to limit the fatigue?

As always, I appreciate you spending time with me here today, and appreciate your insight and thoughts, should you choose to share them.

Have an awesome day!

Jill xx

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Here’s How You Can Change The World

Having just commemorated Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I’ve reflected on the good Dr. King did in his lifetime and the example and legacy he left us with.  As the “holiday” passes by, I don’t want us to miss and to truly believe how the heart and actions of one person can change the world.

While some of us are destined to create monumental change in the world like Dr. King, others of us–no less important–have the opportunity to create change in smaller ways in our corner of the world.

Read this part slowly: Every single one of us (that’s you!) has the potential to make a significant impact in the world.  Some of you reading this may not believe you can make a difference.  You may think that in order to make a difference you need to have more money, more time, a different job, know more people, live somewhere else.  Not true.

As with Dr. King’s example, great impact happens when we take efforts to protect someone or something.

Dr. King took a stand to protect the rights and freedoms of others…he took intentional steps and created a movement of change.

You and I have the ability to create change, too.  One way is to take steps to protect others.

We can begin by thinking about and responding to Dr. King’s statement and question here: “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is: “What are you doing for others?”

Who or what needs protecting in your corner of the world?  

  • Your family…your children, your spouse–your marriage.
  • Your friends.
  • Your community.
  • The homeless.
  • The abused.
  • The nation.
  • Your students.
  • Your neighbors.
  • The young.
  • The elderly.
  • The earth.

How can these people and these things be protected?

By taking intentional steps to:

  • Act in love.
  • Be respectful.
  • Be diligent.
  • Be kind.
  • Set healthy boundaries.
  • Be present.
  • Learn more.
  • Act with compassion.
  • Find out how you can help someone.
  • Remind someone of their worth.
  • Be a shoulder to cry on.
  • Do something that needs to be done that no one else wants to do.
  • Have eyes of awareness and hands of action.
  • Educate others.
  • Take a stand.

Did you notice that the list includes things each and every one of us can do?  Today!  No one needs to wait on getting their doctorate degree, or to obtain a high-level executive job, or to accumulate gobs of money.

What action will you take today?  Will you start with your family, your neighborhood, your community, your place of work, the world at large?

Thank you, in advance, for your part in making this world a beautiful place.

Jill xx

Share the love by sharing this post with your friends, family, and co-workers. Thank you!

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One Gesture That Will Change The World

There are two kinds of people.  Those that remember names and those that don’t.  The first group will meet you once, then see you in the grocery store three months later, and say hello to you by name.  People who remember your name make you feel special, don’t they?

The other type (that’s me), can go into a social situation with a sincere intention to remember names, but fail miserably.  I’ve tried all the tricks:  there’s the old “meet and repeat” trick in which you say their name multiple times during the conversation.  The problem is, when I do this it makes me feel like an inauthentic salesperson.  Then there’s the association trick:  You meet a lady named Cathy Smith, so you might imagine a cat doing some blacksmith work.  This never works for me because when I try to recall my association, I’ll remember a bird on a boat or something completely unrelated!  (If you’re interested in trying out some techniques for remembering names, Forbes has a good list here .)

Bottom-line: Why is it important to remember names?  Because it’s a good way to connect with others, develop relationships, and it shows you care.

Whether you’re good at remembering names or not, I have another idea that every single person will be able to do immediately without any training or practice, and this one act has the power to change the world.

Interested?

Next time you shake someone’s hand, hold their hand in yours, look them in the eyes, and silently say a prayer or a blessing for them.  (NOTE: This works awesome with hugs too!)

Just a simple word or phrase:

“Bless her.”
“Help him.”
“Peace.”
“Love.”
“Give her strength.”
“Protect her.”
“Thank you.”

This simple practice, which doesn’t take longer than a second or two, is a powerful act of good will that I learned from Dr. Lloyd John Ogilvie, Chaplain of the United States Senate (1995-2003).

Friends, in a world where so many of our interactions are digital, it’s more important than ever to be intentional with our in-person, actual physical interactions, and what better way than this?

Ok, it’s your turn.  I challenge you to try this with three different people in the next couple days.  Don’t be shy in patting your grocery-bagger on the shoulder and sending up a prayer/blessing.  I’d love to hear back from you after you’ve done this.  Was it hard, awkward, surprisingly easy, fun?

Thanks for your part in making this world a better place!

Have an awesome day!

Jill xx

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Do You Need Some Rest?

A couple weeks ago I wrote about choosing a single word for the year and, since then, many people have shared their words with me.

One woman chose a word that, although you and I may not have selected the same word for ourselves, I think is worth mentioning as an intentional practice we would ALL do well to incorporate into our busy schedules.

Her word for the year was:

Rest.

Just saying the word gives me hope.  I even love the way the word looks!  Do you see how the “R” looks to be reclining?  It’s like the word is beckoning us in.  And if you draw out the pronunciation of the word, it’s almost meditative.  Try it… “Rrressssst”.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Rest.

Ahhh, that exercise already relaxed me some, but friends, we need more….rest.

As we kick off a new year, many of us are reviewing the events of last year and setting goals for the year to come, but unless you actually chose “rest” as your word for the year, you may have forgotten to be intentional with caring for yourself through rest. When we think of self-care, working out and eating right immediately come to mind.  Yes, these are wonderful ways to care for ourselves, but the idea of just “resting” is often overlooked.

Why?

Because in our fast-paced, multi-tasking, over-scheduled world, it’s not always easy to rest.

It can feel indulgent.  (It shouldn’t.)

Allowing yourself to rest can make you feel guilty.  (It shouldn’t.)

It seems like a luxury.  (It’s not…it’s a necessity.)

Rest should be part of your non-negotiable self-care routine.

In case you need a good reason or an argument backed with important facts in order to rest, here are three:

  1.  Rest rejuvenates your mind, body, and soul.
  2. Rest regulates your mood.
  3. Rest improves learning and memory function.

So, if you aren’t into rejuvenating your mind, body, and soul, don’t care if your mood is like a yo-yo, and don’t care much about your learning and memory function, go ahead and carry on as-is.

If you do care about taking care of yourself, and are willing to give yourself permission to enjoy some proper rest, then let’s see what you can do today, to make rest a reality in your life.

So….will you give yourself permission?

If you say yes, then go grab your calendar.

For real…get your calendar out.

Depending on your circumstances, you may have to schedule short, frequent times of rest…that is just great!  Maybe you’re at a time in your life, where you can schedule days or even a week for rest…that’s awesome too!

Ok, now, be realistic, but don’t be stingy with the time you’re going to devote to your rest.

Following are some scheduling suggestions:

Pick one or two of the following and schedule them out in your calendar for the next year.  I think you should use a pen.  There’s something honoring about scheduling self-care in with pen!

  • One hour per day.
  • One hour every two weeks.
  • One half to an entire day every 30 days.
  • One half to an entire day every 60 days.
  • One day per quarter (4x/yr).
  • One week every six months.
  • One week every year.
  • One month every year.  (Hey, we can dream, right?  Michael Hyatt takes a month long sabbatical every year.)

Will you do this?

It’s important.

If it still feels indulgent or is bringing up feelings of guilt, shut that voice out.

You deserve rest.

As you plan for your time and as the time approaches, be sure to make the most of your time–take your rest in a place of peace and quiet, with no distractions or interruptions.

I’m gonna be checking back with you later in the year.  I hope you will have a beautiful testimony to share.

With much love,

Jill xx

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Good News For The New Year

Were you ever given the task of erasing the chalkboards at school?  I loved it when my teacher asked me to do this…erasing away the day’s work in order to set the stage for a fresh start the next day.

The New Year often symbolizes a new beginning…a fresh start…a clean slate.

Confession: I’m not a big fan of January 1.  I don’t like the weight that one-single-day in our calendar holds.  So many people put all their hope of making life-altering changes beginning that day, and if/when they “fail” – which the majority that make New Year’s resolutions do – it feels EPIC.

Imagine if our teachers told us on the first day of school that what we put on the chalkboard the first day was it.  If you did a math problem, did your best to work it out on the board, but got it wrong–that was it.  Fail!  No more chances.

I think March 17th, June 3, August 29, and October 11th all hold just as much possibility and hope as January 1.  The reality is…there are 365 perfect days of opportunity…for ALL of us.

Whether you’ve made New Year’s resolutions this year, or not, I want you to remember that your life is like one big chalkboard.  There’s plenty of room for creating, learning, growing, failing, succeeding, pivoting, and making choices.

There’s one thing for certain, we’ll all experience success and failure.  It’s not only what we learn from these successes and failures, it’s what we do with them.

It takes momentum and perseverance, and in this big, busy, complicated world, there are lots of distractions and hurdles that pop up and threaten to throw us off course.

In an effort to help you handle the distractions and clear the hurdles, I’m going to be taking the first Saturday of each month in 2016 to address a common problem or roadblock many people struggle with.  Each post will identify the problem and present solutions to overcome.

Here’s the list of topics/areas of focus I’m thinking of covering.  As you read through the list, think about which you’d best like to see featured  on my blog.

Forgiveness.
Stress.
The importance of self love.
Humility.
Getting out of your own way.
Dealing with strained relationships.
Fear.
Time management.
Addiction.
Jealousy.
Learning to trust and/or to be trusted again.
Shame.
Emotional overwhelm.
Depression.
Worry.
Control issues.
Why you deserve to be happy.
Handling failure and mistakes.
Perspective.
Healthy communication techniques.

Here’s your part:  Please, please, please share your thoughts and ideas with me.  Which of these topics would serve you best?  Is there something you’d like to add?

Leave your comments below, on Facebook, via Twitter, DM me, or send me a private email (jillgottenstrater@gmail.com).

I really appreciate your feedback, as it helps me to write about what will benefit you most.

Thank you, friends!  Here’s to an awesome New Year (all 365 days of it)!

Jill xx

 

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The Power of One Single Word

What do you think about this concept?  “What you think about, you bring about.”

What if you could set in place an intentional and focused effort to think about one single word for the next year that would shape your reality?

Courage.  Faith.  Strength.  Hope.  Adventure.  Happiness.  Calm.  Grateful.  Focus.

This one word would be like an anchor thought.  When you go to bed at night, you’d think about this word.  When you rise in the morning you’d think about this word.  When you’re stuck in traffic and someone cuts you off, you’d think about this word.  When you’re happy, sad, or mad…you’d think about this word.

At times your word would perfectly describe your circumstances.  Other times, this word would seem to be completely unattainable.  Either way, you choose to draw on the strength and purpose of the word to guide your steps.

Awesomely enough, three guys actually wrote a book about the idea of choosing One Word for the year to define, anchor, and be “the driving force” in your life.

People all over the world have tried this concept out and have benefited from focusing on a single word for a single year.  Lives have been transformed!

Dan Britton, Jimmy Page, and Jon Gordon tell us in their book, “One Word creates clarity, power, passion and life-change. The simple power of One Word is that it impacts all six dimensions of your life – mental, physical, emotional, relational, spiritual, and financial.”

Whether you’re a goal-setter, a New Year’s resolution-er, or none of the above…setting your thoughts on one word for the year cannot be a bad thing.

Friends, I think it’s clear what we ought to do here.  Let’s pick a word and see what happens!

My word for 2016 is: Joy.

I vow to run my circumstances through my JOY lens in 2016.

If you decide to choose a word, too, will you please share your word with me (really, with us…others reading the comments may find inspiration for their word through your word)?

Here’s to experiencing focus, clarity, and purpose with ONE WORD for 2016!

Have great day!

JOYfully,

Jill xx

Let’s help others to realize the gift of choosing ONE WORD….pass this post along.

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Focusing on What’s Important

I’m spending time with family (that I don’t get to see very often) this weekend, so instead of my usual blog post, I want to encourage you to remember where your time is best spent and not to worry about the “should” stuff too much.  Stuff can wait.  Time spent with loved ones is precious and can be fleeting.

Until next week…

Have an awesome day!

Jill xx

 

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