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Now Is The Time To Get Out And Make Memories

Think back over your lifetime and recall your most delightful memories.  The ones that make you smile, laugh, give your heart an extra jump, or just sigh a breath of peace thinking about it.

Some of us will immediately jump back to childhood memories, others will recall times in their 20s–young and free, while others may need only look back a month or two to a trip taken to celebrate a wedding anniversary.  Depending on your personality, your favorite memories may involve daredevil type activities that provide adrenaline surges that will last for days, or for some, like me, the memory need only feature a beach, walking shoes, delicious food, and a good book.

Now I’m a huge believer in making sweet memories in your everyday life, from enjoying the beauty of your surroundings, to special moments with a loved one, to using your special dishes to serve yourself breakfast each morning, but I’m talking about getting out and making memories.  Memories that take a little work to plan and even pay for…the BIG memories.

Maybe it’s a trip to a faraway tropical place, a cross-country trip, stopping to visit all of the National Forests, travelling abroad, visits to historical sites, hikes that take you through multiple states, and so on.

I think we should place a little more effort into making big memories, before our opportunities slip away.

None of us are guaranteed another day here on this earth, so what are we waiting for?

Let’s all plan our next BIG adventure!

Of course, it’s wise to be smart about this.  I’m not proposing we all quit our jobs and go travel across Europe for the next six months, relying on the kindness of others to feed and house us.

Start the planning process now.  Even if you’re planning for something five years down the road (I hope you and I don’t have to wait that long), start dreaming now.  In case you missed it, check out my post about how half the fun of an event is the anticipation of it.

Here’s our mantra:

No more excuses.
Dream BIG.
Make a plan.
Go and do.
Repeat.

So, what do you think? What trip or epic experience is running through your mind right now?

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Laughter is the best medicine

When’s the last time you had a really good laugh? The kind where you either cry, nearly hyperventilate, or pee your pants.

This type of laughter has got to be one of THE best feelings and we adults need more of it!

Did you know that the average four-year-old laughs 300-500 times per day, while the average 40-year-old laughs ONLY 7-15 times per day? There’s something wrong with this picture. Yes, we as adults have more on our “plates”, but let’s not take ourselves too seriously. I think we must all agree to engage in more laughter!

Why is laughter so important?

Besides the obvious – that it makes you feel good and brings you happiness – there are lots of other benefits, too. Here are several:

Laughter is good for those around you. When others see you laugh, it makes them feel good, smile, and maybe even join in on the laughter. Perhaps a strategy to work towards world peace?

Laughter is a universal sign of happiness. There are many unusual cultural gestures and behaviors that may cause you to be arrested in some countries, but I’d venture to guess that laughter will not get you thrown in prison. It will most likely draw you closer to someone. Laughter is a bond like no other.

Laughter reduces stress. Have you ever laughed really hard over a stressful event, because you just can’t believe it even happened? Recently, something really ridiculous, not right, and a real bummer happened to my husband and as he was breaking the news to me, we both began laughing uncontrollably. I’m telling you, it really lightened the mood and helped make a pretty stressful situation more bearable.

Laughter is a natural mood enhancer. Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the chemicals in your brain that make you feel good. This is the same thing that happens when runners achieve a “runner’s high”.

Laughter can ease your pain. These same endorphins can also inhibit pain signals in your body. I remember experiencing a great deal of pain after having my appendix removed when I was a little kid, and my brother stuck corn in his nose to try and make me laugh. I think our laughing may have actually decreased my pain–at least temporarily.

Laughter is good for your heart. Laughter gets your blood pumping, which increases oxygen flow to your body’s tissues. This keeps your organs happy and your cardiovascular system in good shape.

Laughter is good for the grieving heart. A friend’s beloved father passed away recently, and while she was making plans to spend a day with her mom and sister, they realized that since they were going to pick up his ashes from the funeral home early on in the day, they’d just have to bring him along to lunch at Cracker Barrel. The thought of this gave them all a much needed laugh.  Laughing when you’re sad is very therapeutic.

In an effort for us to catch up to the young’uns and their 300-500 laughs per day, let’s share some laughter today. I’ve posted some of my favorite funny videos and, in turn, I’d love it if you’d share your favorite funny video link or even a funny story in the comments.

Commence the laughter…

You’ve heard of twin talk, right? These two take the cake!

Preciousness x 4…

The singing trio…

I’ve soooo been this lemur while in class, meetings, and church!

This cute older couple is trying to figure out how to take a picture on their computer…

A cute version of “Take This Job and Shove It.”  This baby is laughing at his daddy ripping up a rejection letter he’d just received. Good attitude little one!

Our dog has a similar look when she’s guilty. Denver is too precious!

I hope these videos have upped your laughter quota for the day.  What’s your favorite laugh-out-loud video?  Share in the comments below.

Now go spend the day with someone who makes you laugh!

Jill xx

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How Anticipating a Fun Future Event Will Bring You Happiness

What if I told you that there’s a way to bring happiness and excitement to your day, no matter how busy, stressed, or distracted you might feel?  Aaaand, it won’t cost you a thing.

Cue the dreamy music with you sitting with your head tilted, chin propped as you gaze wistfully to the heavens.

Now, answer these two questions:

First, is there something coming up in the next few weeks or months that you’re really looking forward to?

I’m guessing, with the summer months on the horizon, you might have some sort of trip planned, or better yet, for some, a stay-cation.  Maybe you have an old friend coming for a visit, a family reunion, or you’ve signed up for a fun class at your local community college.  Maybe it’s anything related to your favorite holiday that gets you excited.

Second question:  How often do you think about this future event?

If the last time you thought about it was a month ago when you booked your airfare, made your reservation, or made plans with a friend for a visit — or in the case of a holiday — you only begin thinking about it just a couple of weeks out, I’d like to suggest you think about, and eagerly anticipate, your fun future plans more.

Why?  Because I want you to experience Rosy Prospection, like I do.

Rosy prospection is when a person’s anticipation of a planned event is greater than the actual experience.  It’s when you get excited just thinking about the future event you’ll be embarking on.  Friends, anticipation is half the fun!

I got to thinking about this when a friend stopped by the other day and laughed when she saw that the only thing I had on my 12 month wall calendar was my vacation and a few other work obligations that I didn’t want to forget.  Might I add that the vacation notation was in fancy lettering with green ink and palm trees sketched in!

Making a fun reminder on a visible calendar was just a small part of rosy prospecting for this eagerly anticipated future trip.   Other things I did in anticipation, other than the typical planning and organizing for the trip, was checking the weather of the place I’d be visiting, looking at pictures on Instagram that other people posted, researching restaurants, hikes and other fun stuff to do in the area, and most fun of all, talking about the upcoming trip with my husband.  Doing these things basically stretched out my vacation experience from the actual one week of vacation to several months of fun anticipation.

Maybe you don’t have anything big, like a trip, coming up.  That’s OK!  It’s fun to utilize rosy prospection for daily and weekly events too.

My husband thinks this is crazy, but I eagerly anticipate what’s for dinner while I’m eating breakfast!  Don’t let this make you think I’m an expert meal planner either.  I just love food, so I enjoy thinking about my forthcoming meals.

During certain times of the year, a friend and I go walking at the beautiful Biltmore Estate.  This is a weekly event that I eagerly anticipate in the days leading up to it.

Friends, sometimes we can get bogged down in the everyday routine of life, and I guarantee that if you add a little rosy prospection to your days, you will receive a nice boost of happiness and excitement.

Here’s to all of us enjoying the anticipation of fun future events!

Jill xx

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29 Ways to Love Yourself

Remember the song, 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover?  In this week’s post, I’m sharing 29 ways to love yourself.  Sounds a little more upbeat, don’t ya think?

Why 29?

Because I thought we should celebrate the fact that it’s a leap year — a year that only comes along once every four years, and includes an extra day.  That extra day is February 29.  Crazy cool fact: Both my sister-in-law and her first daughter were born on leap year…there’s only a 1 in 2-million chance of that happening!  I think there’s at least a 4 in 2-million chance of seeing a unicorn!

Since February is a month symbolizing and celebrating love, I thought we’d look inward and focus on ways to practice self-love.

Now, when I suggest we turn inward and focus on self-love, that’s a good thing and shouldn’t be confused with being self-centered or narcissistic.  Self-love is critical to maintaining a healthy, happy, and balanced life.  When we love ourselves well, we are more loveable to others too, so you can’t go wrong.

Loving yourself shouldn’t be complicated, but it can take intention and effort.  I’ve listed out 29 ways to show love to yourself. These suggestions are ones that I, personally, use or that may be beneficial to you.  Of course, there may be things that would better show love to yourself that aren’t on this list–focus on what will serve you best.

Some of the ideas below are easier and take less time than others–great!  Others will take some reflection, some soul-searching, and maybe some accountability or support in other ways.

Here’s how I suggest you use the list:

1.  Either print this post or get a notebook out to write down the items in step #3.

2.  Read through the list and place a check-mark next to the areas where you feel like you’re already showing yourself love in those ways.  Good job on those, by the way!

3.   Now go back through the list and circle 1-3 of the actions you’ll commit to working on throughout the next month.

4.  At the end of the month, review the 1-3 actions you’ve been working on and, if you’ve noticed great improvement, place a check-mark next to the item.  If you haven’t noticed great improvement, continue working on your love goal.

29 Ways to Love on Yourself 

  1. Surround yourself with people that lift you, inspire you, and make you feel good.
  2. Get rid of toxic people in your life.
  3. Speak kindly to yourself.  Don’t say things to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone you respected or loved.
  4. Laugh often.  Laughter is salve for the soul.
  5. Take walks, on a regular basis, with no other goal but to notice the beauty around you.
  6. Sleep at least 7 hours every night.  The National Sleep Foundation recommends 7+ hours/night for adults.
  7. Exercise.  30-minutes per day is ideal.
  8. Stretch your body.  There’s a reason cats seem so content…they stretch a lot. Click here for 10 simple stretches to try today.
  9. Eat well.  Maybe this just means to add a salad to your diet every day.  Maybe it means consuming less sugar.  Maybe it means drink more milk.  Check out this book, Eat Right 4 Your Type, that’ll help you to choose foods that agree with you based on your blood type.
  10. Don’t compare yourself to others.  Focus on, and celebrate, your own special gifts and abilities.
  11. Read books that you enjoy or make you feel good.
  12. Say “no” more often.  Saying no to someone or something is not bad.  Saying no leaves you open to really good yes’s.
  13. Write a letter to God and pour your heart out.
  14. Spend five minutes writing down what your perfect day would look like.  Now, plan to make it happen.
  15. Skip the doughnut…start your day with a healthy, delicious green smoothie.  Try this one with only four ingredients.
  16. Write in a gratitude journal daily.  I have a bunch of journaling ideas here.
  17. Take a 24-hour social media break.  Better yet, take a week or a month away from all the screens that suck up time.
  18. Do more of what you love.  If you love to play cards, but rarely play, schedule a weekly or monthly card night.
  19. Learn something that you’ve always wanted to.  Take a class, teach yourself, or learn online.  Just Google, “How to (put a word(s) for whatever it is you want to learn here)” and see what strikes your fancy.
  20. Write a list of things other people say you do well, or they like about you.  Keep that list handy for when you need encouragement.
  21. Let go of a grudge you’ve held for far too long.  Releasing the grudge = your freedom and peace.
  22. Cut yourself some slack.  Have you noticed, we can be our own worst critic?  Just treat yourself fairly.
  23. Being an adult can be exhausting, so spend more time acting like a kid. Need some ideas on how? I wrote about it here.
  24. Accept who you are.  Change what you can and want to, and accept the rest.
  25. Go on a personal retreat where you will come away rested, renewed, re-energized, inspired, and clear on “stuff”.
  26. Be a blessing to someone else.  Funny thing is, you will be blessed yourself by this action.
  27. Keep a happiness jar (aka: blessing box & gratitude jar).  Just write down things you are thankful for, that make you happy or make you laugh, etc. on a little piece of paper and store them in a jar.  Pull them out and read when you need some encouragement.  Here’s a cute DIY Happiness Jar with step-by-step instructions.
  28. Invest in yourself.  This ties in to some of the earlier items on the list like taking a class, going on a retreat, etc.  It may be that you finally buy that Kitchen Aide mixer you’ve always dreamed of to start your cupcake business.  Maybe you’ve wanted to attend a conference, spend time learning something new, or buy a good camera to develop your photography hobby.
  29. Believe in yourself.  This will come more naturally the more you love yourself, but if you’re not there yet, try and be your own cheerleader.  If you’ve ever been an encouragement to someone else, then remember what that was like and do the same for yourself…you deserve it.

Here’s to loving ourselves and others!

Love,

Jill xx

 

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Here’s How You Can Change The World

Having just commemorated Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I’ve reflected on the good Dr. King did in his lifetime and the example and legacy he left us with.  As the “holiday” passes by, I don’t want us to miss and to truly believe how the heart and actions of one person can change the world.

While some of us are destined to create monumental change in the world like Dr. King, others of us–no less important–have the opportunity to create change in smaller ways in our corner of the world.

Read this part slowly: Every single one of us (that’s you!) has the potential to make a significant impact in the world.  Some of you reading this may not believe you can make a difference.  You may think that in order to make a difference you need to have more money, more time, a different job, know more people, live somewhere else.  Not true.

As with Dr. King’s example, great impact happens when we take efforts to protect someone or something.

Dr. King took a stand to protect the rights and freedoms of others…he took intentional steps and created a movement of change.

You and I have the ability to create change, too.  One way is to take steps to protect others.

We can begin by thinking about and responding to Dr. King’s statement and question here: “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is: “What are you doing for others?”

Who or what needs protecting in your corner of the world?  

  • Your family…your children, your spouse–your marriage.
  • Your friends.
  • Your community.
  • The homeless.
  • The abused.
  • The nation.
  • Your students.
  • Your neighbors.
  • The young.
  • The elderly.
  • The earth.

How can these people and these things be protected?

By taking intentional steps to:

  • Act in love.
  • Be respectful.
  • Be diligent.
  • Be kind.
  • Set healthy boundaries.
  • Be present.
  • Learn more.
  • Act with compassion.
  • Find out how you can help someone.
  • Remind someone of their worth.
  • Be a shoulder to cry on.
  • Do something that needs to be done that no one else wants to do.
  • Have eyes of awareness and hands of action.
  • Educate others.
  • Take a stand.

Did you notice that the list includes things each and every one of us can do?  Today!  No one needs to wait on getting their doctorate degree, or to obtain a high-level executive job, or to accumulate gobs of money.

What action will you take today?  Will you start with your family, your neighborhood, your community, your place of work, the world at large?

Thank you, in advance, for your part in making this world a beautiful place.

Jill xx

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Do You Need Some Rest?

A couple weeks ago I wrote about choosing a single word for the year and, since then, many people have shared their words with me.

One woman chose a word that, although you and I may not have selected the same word for ourselves, I think is worth mentioning as an intentional practice we would ALL do well to incorporate into our busy schedules.

Her word for the year was:

Rest.

Just saying the word gives me hope.  I even love the way the word looks!  Do you see how the “R” looks to be reclining?  It’s like the word is beckoning us in.  And if you draw out the pronunciation of the word, it’s almost meditative.  Try it… “Rrressssst”.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Rest.

Ahhh, that exercise already relaxed me some, but friends, we need more….rest.

As we kick off a new year, many of us are reviewing the events of last year and setting goals for the year to come, but unless you actually chose “rest” as your word for the year, you may have forgotten to be intentional with caring for yourself through rest. When we think of self-care, working out and eating right immediately come to mind.  Yes, these are wonderful ways to care for ourselves, but the idea of just “resting” is often overlooked.

Why?

Because in our fast-paced, multi-tasking, over-scheduled world, it’s not always easy to rest.

It can feel indulgent.  (It shouldn’t.)

Allowing yourself to rest can make you feel guilty.  (It shouldn’t.)

It seems like a luxury.  (It’s not…it’s a necessity.)

Rest should be part of your non-negotiable self-care routine.

In case you need a good reason or an argument backed with important facts in order to rest, here are three:

  1.  Rest rejuvenates your mind, body, and soul.
  2. Rest regulates your mood.
  3. Rest improves learning and memory function.

So, if you aren’t into rejuvenating your mind, body, and soul, don’t care if your mood is like a yo-yo, and don’t care much about your learning and memory function, go ahead and carry on as-is.

If you do care about taking care of yourself, and are willing to give yourself permission to enjoy some proper rest, then let’s see what you can do today, to make rest a reality in your life.

So….will you give yourself permission?

If you say yes, then go grab your calendar.

For real…get your calendar out.

Depending on your circumstances, you may have to schedule short, frequent times of rest…that is just great!  Maybe you’re at a time in your life, where you can schedule days or even a week for rest…that’s awesome too!

Ok, now, be realistic, but don’t be stingy with the time you’re going to devote to your rest.

Following are some scheduling suggestions:

Pick one or two of the following and schedule them out in your calendar for the next year.  I think you should use a pen.  There’s something honoring about scheduling self-care in with pen!

  • One hour per day.
  • One hour every two weeks.
  • One half to an entire day every 30 days.
  • One half to an entire day every 60 days.
  • One day per quarter (4x/yr).
  • One week every six months.
  • One week every year.
  • One month every year.  (Hey, we can dream, right?  Michael Hyatt takes a month long sabbatical every year.)

Will you do this?

It’s important.

If it still feels indulgent or is bringing up feelings of guilt, shut that voice out.

You deserve rest.

As you plan for your time and as the time approaches, be sure to make the most of your time–take your rest in a place of peace and quiet, with no distractions or interruptions.

I’m gonna be checking back with you later in the year.  I hope you will have a beautiful testimony to share.

With much love,

Jill xx

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The Power of One Single Word

What do you think about this concept?  “What you think about, you bring about.”

What if you could set in place an intentional and focused effort to think about one single word for the next year that would shape your reality?

Courage.  Faith.  Strength.  Hope.  Adventure.  Happiness.  Calm.  Grateful.  Focus.

This one word would be like an anchor thought.  When you go to bed at night, you’d think about this word.  When you rise in the morning you’d think about this word.  When you’re stuck in traffic and someone cuts you off, you’d think about this word.  When you’re happy, sad, or mad…you’d think about this word.

At times your word would perfectly describe your circumstances.  Other times, this word would seem to be completely unattainable.  Either way, you choose to draw on the strength and purpose of the word to guide your steps.

Awesomely enough, three guys actually wrote a book about the idea of choosing One Word for the year to define, anchor, and be “the driving force” in your life.

People all over the world have tried this concept out and have benefited from focusing on a single word for a single year.  Lives have been transformed!

Dan Britton, Jimmy Page, and Jon Gordon tell us in their book, “One Word creates clarity, power, passion and life-change. The simple power of One Word is that it impacts all six dimensions of your life – mental, physical, emotional, relational, spiritual, and financial.”

Whether you’re a goal-setter, a New Year’s resolution-er, or none of the above…setting your thoughts on one word for the year cannot be a bad thing.

Friends, I think it’s clear what we ought to do here.  Let’s pick a word and see what happens!

My word for 2016 is: Joy.

I vow to run my circumstances through my JOY lens in 2016.

If you decide to choose a word, too, will you please share your word with me (really, with us…others reading the comments may find inspiration for their word through your word)?

Here’s to experiencing focus, clarity, and purpose with ONE WORD for 2016!

Have great day!

JOYfully,

Jill xx

Let’s help others to realize the gift of choosing ONE WORD….pass this post along.

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Focusing on What’s Important

I’m spending time with family (that I don’t get to see very often) this weekend, so instead of my usual blog post, I want to encourage you to remember where your time is best spent and not to worry about the “should” stuff too much.  Stuff can wait.  Time spent with loved ones is precious and can be fleeting.

Until next week…

Have an awesome day!

Jill xx

 

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Remembering the Sad and Lonely During the Holidays

A Simple Holiday Reminder 

The holidays can be the most wonderful time of the year….

for some…

For others, this time of year is sad and lonely.

Following are some ideas for you to be a Joy-Spreader for those having a difficult time during the holidays:

  • MAIL:  Send cards or letters to the elderly or home-bound people in your life.
  • VISIT:  Visit people who don’t have family or close friends nearby.  There are lots of people living in nursing homes that rarely have visitors–call ahead and ask who could use a visit.  Don’t forget your neighbors…sometimes those right under our noses, could use a friendly face in their lives.
  • SERVE:  Serve a meal to the homeless, deliver a meal through Meals on Wheels, or visit a Children’s Home.  Smile and engage in conversation–being “seen” by someone is a powerful gift.
  • INVITE:  Ask someone to join you for a holiday concert, your kid’s holiday play, a social gathering, or a church service.  Requiring less time, an invitation for a cup of coffee is also a great idea!
  • REMEMBER:  Don’t let the “out of site, out of mind” adage leave your loved ones feeling left behind.  Remember those far away from home (military, college students, etc.) by sending a special care package and having frequent communication.
  • PRACTICE COMPASSION: Be sensitive to those who have lost loved ones.  It never gets easy, but the sting of the loss is especially hard the first year or two.  This goes for those you have lost loved ones to death, but it’s also important to remember those who have experienced loss through divorce, too.

Here’s to being a rainbow in someone else’s cloud!

As always, I appreciate you spending time with me here today.  Please share this post with your friends, family, and co-workers.

Jill xx

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6 Steps for Transitioning to Your New Normal

There are these huge waves on the Oregon Coast called sneaker waves.  They appear without warning, oftentimes catching an innocent bystander by surprise and whisking them out to sea.  There are warning signs posted on the beach, but like with many things in life, most people don’t think anything bad will happen to them.

I don’t know what it is lately, but I’m hearing from more and more friends, family members, and co-workers being hit by one of life’s “sneaker waves.”

Divorce, loss of a loved one, cancer diagnosis, break-up of a precious friendship, loss of a job, mental illness, problems with aging parents, personal injury.  Even things that aren’t supposed to be traumatic, like becoming an empty nester, or moving to a new city, can throw us for a loop.

The bottom line is that what was once normal, is now uncharted territory.  Transition to a new normal is necessary.

If you’re reading this, and are going through a tough time in your life, I encourage you to consider the steps below to help navigate through this difficult season.

Six Steps to Transitioning to Your New Normal   

Grieve the loss of the what was.  Grieving is a necessary process when you’ve experienced loss.  It’s important to allow yourself to grieve the old normal, but be careful not to spend too long in the denial stage.  Depending on what you’re going through, denial can actually be a helpful tool your mind uses to help pace your emotions.  The key is not to get stuck there.

Manage your expectations.  Yes, life will be different now.  It can be helpful to outline in your mind or even on paper how the new normal might be.  Sometimes just getting a visual picture or a plan for what’s to come will help manage the ups and downs that are typical in these transitionary periods.  With this being said, read on…

Be flexible.  Remember that no matter how perfectly you plan and try to manage your expectations, there are bound to be setbacks.  This is normal.  It is, however, extremely important to be flexible during a difficult transition period so that you don’t add to the stress you are already undergoing.  Roll with the punches—as best you can–learn from your experiences, and get back on course.      

Replace the “hole” with something healthy.   After my mom died, I inherited a bunch of her cookbooks.  Not much of a cook before, I found myself diving into culinary experimentation.  Not only did I learn new skills, but I felt a connection with my mom while cooking—a void was filled.  When my son left for college and I became an official empty nester, I started this blog.  I knew I would have extra time and I didn’t want to fill it with watching tv or something else that wouldn’t benefit me.  Be careful not to let drugs, alcohol, or any other destructive activity fill your void…sometimes these things may feel good in the moment, but they are bound to cause trouble down the road.

Understand you’re not alone.  It can feel like you’re the only person in the world who has been handed such a crappy hand, who has been so heartbroken, or who has experienced so much pain.  No two people will have the same exact experience, but you can bet there are lots of people out there who’ve experienced something similar.  There will come a time when it’s important to lean in to such people.  Leaning in does not mean you’re weak.  Leaning in can be your saving grace.  Whether it be through a support group, a friend, family members, church members, or a perfect stranger who was set in your path for a reason you may not understand.  Just lean in, friends.

Start your gratitude journal today.  If you don’t already practice writing in a gratitude journal, today is the perfect day to start.  Maybe you can only come up with one thing per day, that’s OK, just write it down.  If you’ve already been in the practice of writing in a gratitude journal, don’t let any setbacks you’re experiencing prompt you to stop.  Expressing gratitude is wonderful in the good times, and can be a real life-saver in the bad times.  I wrote an entire post on journaling here, check it out for ideas and inspiration.

Here’s to reaching a place of peace and stability in your new normal.

Jill xx

As always, I appreciate you spending time with me here today.
Please share my blog with your friends, family, and co-workers.

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