Inspiration Archives - Page 5 of 6

Blog, Inspiration, Mindset, Personal Development, Productivity

How to Take Those Lingering Projects and Get Them Done

How many unfinished projects do you have looming right now? Have you been dreaming about a project you’d like to tackle, but fear, overwhelm, or lack of time have hi-jacked your capacity to complete the task?

I’m right there with you!

At any given point, I usually have 5-10 projects I’d like to begin or am in the process of “working” on. I’ll putter a little bit here and there, ultimately being busy, but not getting much accomplished. I’ve always prided myself on my multitasking skills—I think it may even be a bullet point highlighted on my resume! But I’ve come to realize that, overall, multitasking takes away from the laser focus needed to complete a task well and in a timely manner. Author Steve Uzzell defines multitasking as “the opportunity to screw up more than one thing at a time.”

I’ve always been, and always will be, a checklist person, but I’ve recently read a book that has drastically changed the way I choose what to work on and where it lies in my priority scheme. What I love about the concepts discussed in this book is that they challenge you to look at your purpose–why you do what you do–and use that as your foundation for setting priorities and the actions that will achieve your goals.

The book is called The One Thing, by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan. The authors suggest that “The prescription for extraordinary results is knowing what matters to you and taking daily doses of actions in alignment with it.”

The authors challenge us to take a look at our work, family, personal, and spiritual goals and pick one thing to focus on as we work toward completing the goals in each category. “Extraordinary results are directly determined by how narrow you can make your focus.”

If we don’t narrow down our project lists and calendar appointments, we become overwhelmed and stressed, which equates to things not getting done or not getting done well.

A couple of weeks ago, I became super convicted on this whole “One Thing” idea and decided it was time to complete a project I had been putting off for nearly a year.

I’m sharing this example for two reasons: 1. I think you might be able to relate and I hope it will encourage and motivate you to work on something you have been putting off; 2. My precious dogs are featured in the story!

Here’s where the story begins…

About 10 months ago, my husband and I replaced our 17 year old couch cushions (just the inside foam part) and we kept the old foam pads to be used as dog beds. Excellent idea right? Upcycle, recycle, reclaim—I’m all about it!

We placed the old cushions on the floor and covered them with a big blanket. I even added a couple of our old human pillows with shams to make it extra comfortable for the dogs. DIY at its best! Shabby chic, easy, and good to go!

Well….you know how when dogs settle in to lay down, they circle around and around and dig into the blankets to make a comfy spot? Well, the dogs did a little too much digging, so much so that every time they used the bed, they would rip up the foam and batting and leave a huge mess.

Jack and Dixie with torn cushions (1)

After the first few times it happened, I told my husband that I just needed to sew up a cushion cover with a Velcro closure, so they couldn’t get to the bare cushion. With a glint in his eye, he nodded and said, “That’s a great idea, hon.” Let me preface this by telling you that my husband has witnessed me getting “amped” many times over the years about various DIY projects only to either half start it and leave it unfinished or just talk a lot about it and never even get to the starting point. So the fact that he still had a glint in his eye was promising—at this point, his eyes should have looked dead and bewildered!

FLASH FORWARD 10 months (present day)…project still not done—BIG surprise!

My husband left town for a few days and I’d been reading the book I mentioned earlier, The One Thing. Of course, I’d already started applying the concepts in the book to work-tasks and even projects on my blog, but it dawned on me that I should be applying the One Thing to my home life, too.

Yep, you guessed it! I decided to make the dog bed cover sewing project my One Thing. I was singularly focused and would not allow anything to get in the way of finishing this project. The crazy thing is that it only took me a couple of hours to do the entire project—this included setting up the sewing machine, cutting the fabric, sewing, putting the cushions in their new homes, and putting the machine away. Less than two hours!!

Look how happy the dogs are! Believe me, my husband was even happier when he came home to discover the miraculous event that had taken place in his absence.

So, I know I’ve given you a silly example here today, but the point is that all of us have things we want or need to get done. I think we can all agree it’s easier to get fun stuff done first and leave the more important things on the back burner. It’s important to set goals for all areas of our lives and one of the keys to success is defining your One Thing and blocking time out of your day(s) to focus and get it done.

What do you have in your life that you need to apply some laser focus on to get it done?

Best of luck to you! My dogs and I are cheering you on!

As always, thank you for spending time with me here today.

Jill xx

BONUS PICS (for those who can’t get enough of the cuteness.)

Dixie wasn’t about to let me cut the fabric in an orderly fashion.

I finally got the fabric cut and Dixie sat with the strips of left over fabric for a good part of the evening!

Jack enjoyed the cushions doubled up.

June 20, 2015/7 Comments/by Jill Gottenstrater

Blog, Inspiration, Purpose

Letter to a Graduate

In honor of what is graduation weekend for many, I present to you a letter my husband wrote to his best friend’s son (I did have to bribe him in order to share with the inter-webs!). This is a departure from my regular blog writing, but I thought you might enjoy reading this in light of the graduates in your life.

Here’s to NEW beginnings for our bright, young graduates!

Letter to a Graduate:

Download a PDF if that’s easier for you to read, by clicking here.

Here are the extractions from the “vault of meaning” mentioned in the letter: Read more

June 13, 2015/8 Comments/by Jill Gottenstrater

Blog, Inspiration, Personal Development

Taking Time to Develop My Passion in San Diego

If you’ve read my blog before, you know I am a big believer in self-care and personal development. As you can see from my note above, I traveled to San Diego, California this week to do a little of both: attending a one-day conference and visiting with family. I won’t be writing a typical blog post this week, but wanted to share some photos with you for fun.

If you’ve never been to San Diego, you must! It’s a beautiful area. I’m going to share a few photos below of the first 36 hours of my visit.

I should have known something was going on when my luggage was held up in security. They spend a good two minutes eye-balling my bag under the x-ray machine.
I’m guessing this stash below was the reason why. My husband snuck in these tasty goodies to surprise me on my trip. Yep, he’s a keeper!

The weather in San Diego is typically clear skies and sunny with an average temperature of 70 degrees. Not too shabby! It has been a little overcast and in the mid-60’s on my visit thus far. Great walking weather!

I’m staying in the La Jolla area and there are lots of surfers, and as you can see from the photo below, scuba divers too, that frequent this beach.

Beach art!

I could watch sandpipers all day. They walk super fast and stick their long beaks in the sand to pull out insects and other small organisms to eat. Check out his reflection.

This seagull had a cool personality. He was strutting around like he owned the place.

Surf rescue gulls!

These beautiful trees, at a park along the beach, are works of art!

These flowers along the beach path that smell like heaven! Not sure of the name but I had my nose buried in these every chance I got.

Leaving the beach area now and strolling through some neighborhoods close by…

I have some horticulture, landscape design friends who laugh at me because instead of identifying plants/trees by their real names, I just name them for how they look. I have named this tree a “painted bottlebrush”. Please chime in down in the comment section if you know the true name.

Bird of Paradise!

Amazing succulent garden in someone’s front yard.

These beautiful gated entryways to homes are typical in this area.

I feel sorry for these people. Just look at what they have to look at every day!

Rusty pelican guarding this home’s front entrance.

After enjoying a long walk, I headed off to my conference.

This was my view at the conference. That’s Chris Ducker and Pat Flynn up front. The day was AWESOME! I met so many smart, kind and generous people with hearts for making a difference online. I’ll tell you more about it in the future.

I’m here for a few more days to spend time with some of my West Coast family. Look forward to meeting you back here next Saturday!

Jill xx

April 25, 2015/6 Comments/by Jill Gottenstrater

Blog, Inspiration, Personal Development, Purpose

Combat Fear and Shame by Sharing Your Story

Last week I talked about the lessons I’ve learned after recently reading my mom’s autopsy report. I have received countless messages, mostly private, from people telling me that reading that post really struck a chord with them—many could relate directly to the problem with alcoholism in families, others could relate because they have been or are going through some other sort of trauma in their lives.

Many people told me that by reading my story, it helped them to see their own situation in a different light and encouraged them in a profound way.

This is exactly why I write this blog…to share stories, ideas, and perspectives that will impact and improve our lives—whether it be related to goal setting, overcoming obstacles, finding the extraordinary in the ordinary, or about opening up about a difficult time in your life, like I did with last week’s post.

My goal today is to encourage you to think about sharing your story.

If the idea of sharing scares you, remember that there’s not a “sharing formula” you must follow. You don’t have to write about it like I did in a blog, you just need to move forward…take the first step.

Maybe you’ll choose to share with a friend or a counselor, confide in a support group, write in a private journal, or maybe you’ll be the one to share your story in a memoir for the whole world to see.

If sharing were always easy, I wouldn’t be writing this post, would I? Let’s talk about a few of the obstacles we face in sharing our stories and then finish up with some reasons that support the importance of sharing:

REASONS YOU MIGHT CHOOSE NOT TO SHARE YOUR STORY:

Fear. You were not created to live in a state of fear. Fear is like a bully who holds you captive, preventing you from reaching your full potential. A key to overcoming fear is to name it, so you can deal with it. Answer this question: Why are you scared to tell your story? Embarrassment? Shame? Being ostracized? Once you name your fear, you can begin breaking down the reasons for it and addressing how you will overcome it.
Shame. Dr. Brene Brown has studied shame for many years and offers the following counsel: “Shame cannot survive being spoken and met with empathy.” She gives these three points to combat shame: 1. Talk to yourself like you talk to someone you love. 2. Reach out to someone you trust. 3. Tell your story.
Timing. Don’t rush things. What I shared last week took 11 years for me to be able to share to the degree that I did. There are other chapters in my story that I’m actively working through—parts that I may share in the future, or may not. It’s important for each of us to use discernment and to allow the right timing to unfold.

REASONS YOU SHOULD SHARE YOUR STORY:

Bring Light to the Darkness. Have you ever woken in fear from a nightmare and as soon as you switched on the light, you felt better? It works the same with real-life nightmares. When we tuck things away in the dark, we allow them to haunt us. Darkness is fertile ground for breeding fear and shame.
Healing. Sharing you story can bring tremendous healing, both physically and mentally, to yourself and to others.
Sharing is Caring. Sharing is both an act of self-care (healing) and altruism. When you share you have the ability to make a positive impact in someone else’s life. Don’t be stingy with the blessing you are meant to be. : )

Whether I’m fortunate enough to witness your story sharing or not, I thank you in advance for being courageous.

As always, I appreciate you spending time with me here today. Please share this post with someone you care about.

Have a great day!

Jill xx

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April 18, 2015/3 Comments/by Jill Gottenstrater

Blog, Inspiration, Mindset, Personal Development, Productivity

Get Back On Track After Falling Off the Wagon

Do you feel like you’ve experienced a bit of whiplash with how quickly these last two months have flown by?

I sat down the other day and reviewed my written goals for the year (which I strongly urge you to do at least once per month) and realized that of the 15 goals I set back in January, I’m only following through with eight of them. I know I should be happy with the progress of the eight, but it’s the other seven that are staring me down and making me feel bad.

Here’s the deal–and I’m talking to myself just as much as I’m talking to you: There’s no time to sit around and feel bad about what could have been. It’s time to get back on the wagon. We can’t change the past, but we can certainly learn from it.

I’ve got three simple steps to get us back on the right track. There’s no time like the present, so let’s get started!

NOTE: If you wrote your original goals in a journal, I suggest you do the following exercise in that same place. It’s helpful when you can look back and review where you’ve been and what you’ve accomplished.

First Step: Figure out what the stumbling block has been for you to achieve or move forward with your goals. Warning…you’re gonna have to be introspective and honest with yourself in this step. It might even be helpful to put the superhero cape aside during this exercise.

Ask yourself the following questions:

Do the goals I came up short on, scare me somehow? What fears do I experience when thinking about those goals?
Are my goals unrealistic? Have I set too many goals? Have I set crazy timelines that I can’t possibly meet with the demands my busy schedule?
Have I failed to set proper systems (time management, accountability, etc) in place to help me succeed?

Second Step: Now that you’ve defined the problem, the next step is to figure out how to fix it. Let’s address the three questions you answered above:

Fears: Break down any fears you have associated with your goals. Oftentimes, when we break things down like this into bite-sized pieces, the “scariness” falls away. Now, these bite-sized portions of your big goal become manageable mini-goals. Now you can begin working on each mini-goal, one by one, until completion. This really works!
Unrealistic goals: Maybe you were a little ambitious, like I was, at the beginning of the year and set too many goals. If that’s the case, list out and prioritize your goals. Maybe keep the top 3-4 and drop the others. You can always focus on those you dropped later in the year or even next year. If the main problem is the unrealistic deadlines you set for some of your goals, then set new dates that are more realistic to match your lifestyle.
No systems in place: Say your goal was to organize your house this year, but you didn’t set up a proper system to accomplish it. Now you’re sitting here a couple months later with the same mess and even more stress about it. Make it your goal today to set up a system that will help you achieve success. It may be as easy as creating a weekly project checklist. Don’t overwhelm yourself by assigning yourself too many tasks each week. Maybe set two 30 minute time slots per week to tackle a specific area in your home. Once you finish that area, start on the next.Just as we talked about earlier, cutting your goal up into bite-size pieces will cut back on the overwhelm and make your project manageable. This is key…Don’t forget to keep yourself accountable by scheduling this in your calendar and set a timer to work by. Take your goals seriously and don’t let anything interrupt the time you’ve set aside to accomplish these goals.

As I mentioned earlier, I fell off the wagon on some of my goals this year, too. Here is how I worked through the exercise we just outlined:

I’ve narrowed it down to two trouble areas for me:

Problem: Wasting too much time online. I would start to do some research for a blog post I was working on and next thing I knew I was reading about Madonna’s daughter’s new fashion line! And just so you know, my research had nothing to do with fashion! It’s super easy to get sucked into the online vortex, but admitting your problem is the first step, right?
My fix: About a month ago I began setting a pretty strict morning schedule for myself. The routine has been great, but after the first month, I realized I needed a little more structure to ensure my success, so I incorporated tracking each of my daily tasks in a planner and using a timer. This has worked very well. Daily accountability in black and white and on a countdown!By the way, I plan to write an entire post on the beauty and benefits of setting a morning routine (even for you non-morning people) with some really great tips for you to consider, so be on the lookout for that in the future.
Problem: I was overly ambitious and set too many goals.
My fix: I had to reprioritize my goals and drop some of my overambitious goals off my list. The ones I dropped are still important to me, but I dropped them in an effort to do better in certain areas and not spread myself too thin. I will revisit those goals in the future.

I hope working through this exercise will help you to get back on track. It has helped me! Now, one last thing…

Third, stay positive! Don’t dwell on what could have been. As long as you made an effort to understand what the obstacles to your progress were, and have set some solutions, get back on the wagon and enjoy the ride! Pat yourself on the back for the successes you’ve already had this year. Even if you’ve only accomplished or have improved on one goal on your list–good job!

I’d like to hear from you. How are you doing now that we’re two months into the year? Are you doing well with achieving your goals, or can you relate to this post? What have you struggled with? Please do tell…you’re helping others by sharing.

As always, thanks for spending time with me today.

Jill xx

P.S. If you haven’t already subscribed to my blog, please do so now by entering your email address in the form on my site. You will receive a weekly post filled with inspiration, a fresh perspective, and a challenge to create the life you want and love.

March 7, 2015/0 Comments/by Jill Gottenstrater

Blog, Inspiration, Mindset, Personal Development

The Power of Ugly Words

A friend of mine, a gifted public speaker, recently received a hand-written “fan” letter in the mail.

The letter writer informed my friend that she was a terrible public speaker and that she needed to take a public speaking class. Now let me interject here: It is not only my biased opinion as a friend that she is an excellent public speaker. She has humbly received multitudes of compliments on her speaking abilities and delivery.

Back to the letter…

The letter writer was also “kind” enough to point out very specific things (that weren’t true) that my friend needed to improve on.

The author of the letter chose not to leave a name or a return address.

What the letter writer did leave were words on a page that became imprinted on the mind of my friend (who, by the way, didn’t ask for this person’s opinion.) My friend found herself going back to what was written and second-guessing her abilities. The words on that page, from one single person, caused her confidence to fall.

How can the words of one person hold so much power over us?

I know of a woman who was told she was ugly her entire life–by her mother! This woman would be considered very pretty by most standards, but guess what? She believes she is ugly. No matter what anyone else has told her over the years, she believes the UGLY lie her mother fed her. You can imagine how believing this lie has manifested itself in her life.

Most of us have experienced the sting of an ugly word or statement. Maybe it was someone telling you to give up a dream of going to college, because you weren’t smart enough. Maybe it was someone telling you that you don’t deserve something because of something that happened in your past. Maybe it’s someone telling you you’re fat and so that’s what you see when you look in the mirror. Maybe it’s someone telling you that the way you talk is weird, so now you withdraw in social settings.

Whether we understand it or not, the words of one single person can have significant power over our lives.

Believing these lies can hold us back from living out our life’s purpose. It can cause depression. It can cause suicide. It can cause us to stumble in places where we should be standing tall. It can cause us to be less than we are meant to be.

So what can we do about it?

First, a few things for those of us that have been an ugly words target, and then we’ll address those of us that might be ugly word offenders:

Surround yourself with people that lift you up. Choose friends who believe in you, who encourage you, and who make you a better person. If you surround yourself with haters or naysayers, you’re gonna suffer the consequences. Although we can’t choose our families, we can place boundaries on any unhealthy relationship.

Utilize words of affirmation. When we use words or statements of affirmation, we are asserting that what we’re saying exists or is true. So, for example, the woman who was told she was ugly by her mother, she might repeat the following to herself multiple times every day, “I am God’s handmade and beautiful creation who is worthy of adoration and love.” When you utilize words of affirmation, you are filling your mind with good things and blocking out the ugly things that will pop up. If you haven’t tried using words of affirmation before, give yourself some time. You probably won’t notice a change in one day, but if you are consistent, you will see a wonderful change over time.

It’s helpful to write your affirming word, sentence, quote, or Bible verse on a piece of paper and post in areas where you will see it often: bathroom mirror, by your kitchen sink, on the fridge, on the dash in your car, etc.

Take the high road. Don’t spew back ugliness in response to ugliness. The person hurling ugly words can’t take back what they say and you won’t be able to either.

Seek professional help. Sometimes the scars are so deep you might need professional help. Seek out a counselor, pastor, or physician to help you

Take it to God. I have personally struggled with some pretty tough things for a good bit of my life and it wasn’t until I took it to God a few years ago that I began to see real transformation in my life. The best thing about this route: there’s no charge, it’s super confidential, and He’s available 24-7!

Be a model of grace. Your friends, family, co-workers, etc., are watching you. Always strive to be a good role model.

Now, let’s move along…

Are you an UGLY words offender?

There are two types of UGLY words offenders.

Those who will read this and call me an ugly name for writing about this. If this is you and you’ve gotten this far in reading this, please keep your mind and your heart open and keep reading.
Those who realize they may have a problem, who oftentimes feel guilty for their behavior, but just don’t know how to stop or fix what they’ve done. Glad you’re here! I hope these simple suggestions will get you on the road to recovery.

Whether you’re a one-time ugly words offender or you’re a perpetual offender, here are some guidelines for you to consider:

Don’t be afraid to try and repair what you break. Have you ever seen a beautiful china dish with a crack in it? The dish didn’t have to be thrown out when it was broken–it was repaired and utilized for its intended purpose–but the crack will still always be visible. This is the same with people: The scars you’ve caused may still be visible after you say you’re sorry, but you might be able to restore a broken relationship.

Place some boundaries on your tongue. Do you find it hard to hold back when you have something to say? Know this: You have the power to reign your own tongue in. Every time you feel yourself ready to spout off, take 10-20 deep breaths in and out and don’t say what you were going to say. Just don’t say it at all. Remember, you can’t take your words back. If what you need to say is important, then give yourself 24 hours to think about the best way to say it. Chances are, you will talk yourself out of saying anything if you give yourself a chance to reflect on what you were going to say, how it might affect the recipient.

Utilize words of affirmation. When you use words or statements of affirmation, you are asserting that what you’re saying exists or is true. So, if you repeat to yourself throughout the day, “I am loved and I will show love,” over time, you will see a marked change in how you feel about yourself and how you treat others. When you utilize words of affirmation, you are filling your mind with good things and blocking out the ugly things that will pop up. If you haven’t tried using words of affirmation before, give yourself some time. You probably won’t notice a change in one day, but if you are consistent, you will see a wonderful change over time.

It’s helpful to write your affirming word, sentence, quote, or Bible verse on a piece of paper and post in areas where you will see it often: bathroom mirror, by your kitchen sink, on the fridge, on the dash in your car, etc.

Change is possible. No matter what anyone told you, change is possible and it’s never too late to begin that change.

So, whether you’ve doled out the stinging words or you’ve received those words, today is a new day and the perfect day to start the restoration process.

I am guessing most of you reading this are adults. Would you please share this post with the younger people in your life? There is a serious bullying epidemic among our young people, and it will only get better when we talk about it and bring it out into the light. Click here to watch an awesome anti-bullying message created by a 14-year-old teen from Texas.

As always, I appreciate you spending time with me here.

Have a great rest of your day!

Jill xx

February 28, 2015/2 Comments/by Jill Gottenstrater

Blog, Inspiration, Mindset, Personal Development, Purpose

Learn the Best Way to Show Your Love

Today’s post is critically important!

I’m posting this on Valentine’s Day because it’s the big LOVE day of the year. For many, this is a day set aside to shower your special love with romance, so this post will definitely help you, but this post is really intended to help anyone that loves someone and that has someone that loves them. I hope that includes all of us.

The ideas shared here today will transform the relationships with those you love—spouses, friends, children, parents, siblings, co-workers, neighbors, roommates, etc.

Ok, think of someone you love…anyone from the list above. How do you show them you love them? Hugs? Kind words? Gifts?

In general, most of us show our love, depending on the nature of the relationship, in a certain way. If you’re a hugger, everyone you love is gonna get a hug, right?

Now think about what makes you feel most loved by others. Hugs? Kind words? Gifts? Time spent together?

Do you realize that how you give and receive love can be different? You may be a hugger, but when someone gives you a small thoughtful gift, you are over the moon. This doesn’t mean you don’t love receiving a hug, it just means that there is a more direct, meaningful way in which you are designed to receive love.

Can you see how important it is to discover how those you love best experience and receive love? You may think you know, but don’t leave that to chance. I have been wrong on several occasions.

Lucky for us, author Gary Chapman wrote a book called, The Five Love Languages. In his book, he explains the five “love languages” and teaches us how to express love in our loved one’s language.

Here’s how he breaks the five different languages down:

You really should get a copy of Dr. Chapman’s book, but here are some insights from me on the five different languages.

Words of Affirmation: “You are so awesome!” “You really look great today!” “I love the way you teach our kids to be kind.” “You are THE BEST cook in the world!” “You are such a good friend, I’m so glad to know you.” You get where I’m going with this–A simple word of appreciation or praise can go a looooooong way.

Acts of Service: “Let me help you take those groceries in.” “Honey, I’m gonna take your car to get the oil changed.” “Let me pick up your dry cleaning.” “Son/Daughter, let me help you pick up your room today.” Hint: You don’t have to tell your loved one what you’re gonna do–surprise them with an act of service: unload the dishwasher, pick up the house, mow the lawn, run an errand for them, clean up their mess without complaint.

Receiving Gifts: This doesn’t need much explaining—shower your loved one with presents! It doesn’t have to be big or expensive (well, maybe for some it may be!), you can make something too. The main idea here is to be thoughtful with your gift. If someone loves flowers, that may be your go-to gift. Someone else may appreciate a hand-made card.

Quality Time: The operative word here is quality. Spend time together. That means, put your phone down and give your undivided attention to your loved one.

This is my husband’s love language and it took me forever to figure it out, but one day we spent a big chunk of time in the garden planting and weeding. Time in the garden for him is heaven, time in the garden, especially weeding, is not exactly my dream afternoon. I was holding my tongue from complaining–my back hurt, the dang gnats where bugging me, and it was hot!! Boy, was I glad I kept my mouth shut, because at the end of our gardening time, he told me that our time in the garden was one of the best days he’d had with me. That was the day I learned his love language: quality time. It may seem like this was an act of service, but for him, it was just about spending time together, whether we were chatting while pulling weeds or just being in the same space together silently. I’m going to make up a new love language for him called “Productive Quality Time!”

Physical Touch: Depending on who the loved one is, this can obviously be different. With your spouse, this may be intimate touch, but it can also just be holding hands, or putting your arm around their shoulder. For your child, this could be rubbing their head while you’re watching tv together. For a friend, this could be a hug or just a touch to their arm when you’re talking to them.

Remember the point here is to speak the language of your loved one…not your own.

Reread that last sentence—it’s really important.

Many of us will fall back into showing love the way we like to receive love. Our intentions are good, but when we do this, we are actually spinning our wheels and minimizing the effect of our efforts.

What’s your love language? Does one of the five jump right out at you? Not sure? Take this quick online quiz (click on the area where it says “Discover your love language.”)

Send this post to your loved ones, so they can take the quiz too. If you are a parent of a younger child, the quiz I linked to will allow you to take the quiz for your child to figure out their language (note: their language will probably change as they get older.)

I really recommend you pick up a copy of the book because it’s a fun read and really dives into what we’ve talked about here.

If you’ve already read the book, today is your chance to revisit this crucial “formula” to building and strengthening the relationships with those you love the most.

Have a wonderful day filled with your kind of love!

Jill xx

P.S. Don’t miss a post. Just enter your email in the subscribe box and you’ll receive a post every Saturday morning.

February 14, 2015/0 Comments/by Jill Gottenstrater

Blog, Inspiration, Mindset, Personal Development, Purpose

Why you should act more like a child.

Yep, that’s me skipping down a wooded lane! I’ll explain later…

Have you ever sat and watched children playing at a playground? It’s been a while for me, but if I stop to remember, I can vividly hear the sound of feet running from place to place, the sound of joyful voices calling out to one another, and the ringing of laughter echoing across the park.

In an instant those sounds become hushed tones of excitement–the children, with their ever-curious minds, discover a colorful, fuzzy, multi-legged creature and enter into detailed discussion on how best to build a new home for him. It doesn’t take long to formulate a plan…off they go with the unsuspecting creature in tow!

Ok, now imagine this same playground scene, but instead of kids running around, the park is filled with adults running and playing. Ever driven by a park and seen that happen? I haven’t.

Why is it that at some point, we as adults, turn a corner and the childlike wonder and enthusiasm we once had dissipates or disappears entirely?

I’m thinking we might want to take ourselves a little less seriously so we can experience the joy and freedom that comes with acting more like a child and less like an adult.

Take a look at the “childlike” qualities I have listed below and consider how adding a few into your adult-life repertoire will enrich your life:

Live in the moment. Put the past behind you and don’t worry about the future. We are adults after all, so I’m not suggesting you shirk all responsibilities, but practicing being present in the moment will greatly benefit your physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

Be curious. Never stop asking questions. Never stop learning. If you think you have everything figured out, think again!

Laugh a little louder and longer. Laughing is good for your soul. Don’t stifle it!

Skip instead of walking. I am a huge fan of skipping…yes, that’s me skipping in the picture above. Sometimes, when I take the dogs out for a walk and when I think no one is looking, I’ll skip along for a block or so. Talk about aerobic exercise! Try it…it’s an awesome workout—it can burn up to 900 calories per hour. It’s also a mood booster–just try to skip and not smile. I know the neighbors might think you’re a kook, but If you’re thinking like a kid, who cares.

Trust a little easier. Have you built up a wall of distrust based on past experiences? That wall can rightly be a valid means of protection and self-preservation, but don’t allow that wall to block you from forming trust in all relationships. Trust is the foundation in which we build strong relationships and bonds. Try giving someone the benefit of the doubt…you just might be pleasantly surprised.

Play on the playground. The next time you see a playground, get out there and play. Get on that swing, pump your legs, and swing high. Climb up the play structure and take a ride down the slide. If you’ve got kids, don’t sit on the sidelines—get in there and play around with them.

Speak from your heart. As adults, we create filters and if/then scenarios that can hinder authentic expression of our emotions. Now, don’t get me wrong, filters can be a good thing, but sometimes just saying what you mean is the best way to go.

Play hand clapping games. Remember “Say, say, oh playmate. Come out and play with me!”? I have found that kids have a little more coordination with hand clapping games, so this exercise always provides lots of laughter! My teenage son, who is always down for a good laugh, and I often try to set and break “clapping round” records. Need a reminder of how to do or words to some of the songs? Click here for some inspiration.

Slurp your spaghetti noodles. I know there are some etiquette people out there cringing, but trust me, slurping spaghetti is liberating! Just do your slurping at home!

Have sleepovers with one of your besties and talk until the wee hours of the night.

Cook like a kid. Make pancakes in the shape of a snowman, a bunny, or a lizard. Make a sandwich and cut it out in the shape of a heart or a star.
Paint with your fingers. Yes, finger painting is messy, but painting with your fingers takes away any rigid “art rules” or creative boundaries that you may impose on yourself. Click here to see some REALLY AMAZING art in which the artist, Iris Scott, only uses her fingertips.

Wear a tutu over your jeans. Seriously, I don’t think this awesome look should just be reserved for cute little girls. If you wear a tutu, you are bound to bust out a little twirl or dancer’s leap, which is never a bad thing.

Wear a superhero shirt and remember what it feels like to believe in your “power”.

Get a coloring book and a fresh pack of crayons and color to your heart’s delight. I used to LOVE to color. Why would I have chosen to give that up? I remember when my mom retired, she got a really fancy coloring book and would use colored pencils to color. Here are some really cool coloring books like the one she had. You can also pick up a variety of fun coloring books at the supermarket or dollar store for less than a dollar.

Take a mid-day nap. Enough said.

Life is filled with lots of moments that require us to act like serious adults, so embrace the moments when you can let your hair down and act like a kid!

If you follow my lead and try out a few of the ideas above and hear someone say, “Don’t be so childish!” or “Act your age!”, just smile and encourage them to try it out for themselves.

I hope your day is filled with childlike joy, enthusiasm, and belly laughter!

Don’t miss a post! Sign up to receive these blog posts in your inbox every Saturday.

Jill xx

February 7, 2015/6 Comments/by Jill Gottenstrater

Blog, Inspiration, Personal Development

Creating a Sanctuary in Your Home

Do you have a special place in your home that you go to read, pray, meditate, listen to music, knit, or just sit and think? A place that is devoid of distractions that could pull you away from time spent nurturing your soul?

Whether you spend five minutes or an hour a day in this space, I have found it’s an important time to set the pace and the tone for your day.

Perhaps you have a cozy chair in a quiet corner that you enjoy your coffee each morning? Maybe you transform your kitchen table to a space to journal by candlelight when the house is dark and quiet? Do you have a special spot in your garden or on your porch? Maybe you’re able to devote an entire room to your personal sanctuary?

It’s not the size of the space that’s important—a corner in your house with a chair and a reading lamp will do. Looking for something a little more private? Transform a small closet in your home by clearing it out, put a bunch of throw pillows and a big comfy quilt down, turn on the light, close the door and enjoy your 15 minutes of undisturbed solitude.

Creating your space doesn’t have to cost anything extra either—take what you have and utilize it in a new way: Repurpose an old basket to hold your journal and books, take the candles and the quilt you have packed away and use them.

On the other hand, don’t be afraid to invest in your space if you are able.

If you find the perfect chair, rug, journal, coffee mug, candle, or music CD to make your space special, then treat yourself. This is bound to be one purchase you won’t regret!

You might even consider creating a “portable space.” My bonus mom finds restoration for her soul while beading jewelry. Because she likes a change of scenery while at home and also because she travels quite a bit, she has a tray that holds all her beading materials that she can easily carry around, whether it be to a quiet corner while staying at a bed and breakfast or visiting a friend’s house, or to a special place on her patio at home.

If you haven’t created a sanctuary in your home, I encourage you to do so today!

Need some inspiration in creating your space? Check out Pinterest (try keywords “cozy corner”) or Houzz online for ideas, flip through magazines, or have a design-savvy friend over to help you set up your space.

Here’s a picture of my current space where I read, write, pray and sip on coffee every morning:

I would love to see your special space! Would you please take a picture and email to me? Tell me where the space is located and what you love about it most.

Have a great day!

Jill xx

January 31, 2015/8 Comments/by Jill Gottenstrater

Blog, Inspiration, Mindset, Personal Development, Productivity

Never Stop Learning

“The greatest enemy of learning is knowing.” John Maxwell

What do you think about Maxwell’s quote? It’s a little counter-intuitive, isn’t it?

Knowing is good, right?

Socrates said the only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing.

Hmmmm….

The point Maxwell and Socrates are trying to make is to never stop learning.

The moment we claim to know all that we need to know is the moment we should fear, not celebrate. There is, and always will be, more to learn.

One of the most beloved and revered coaches of all time, John Wooden, put it this way, “It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.”

When’s the last time you learned something new? Are you working on something now, or has your life grown a bit stagnant?

If nothing’s coming to mind, this may be the perfect time to commit to learning something.

Maybe in reading this, something popped in your mind immediately that you’d like to get started on. If so, go get ‘em!

Need some inspiration to get your “learning” juices flowing? Here’s a list of 20 ideas to get you started:

Learn a new language.
Learn to cook. Too broad? Learn to cook Asian food.
Learn to plant and grow a vegetable garden.
Learn a new productivity system to be more effective. (I’m working on this one now.)
Learn to play a musical instrument.
Learn to play tennis.
Learn to blog. (I did!)
Learn to sail.
Learn to listen. (Don’t laugh, this one can take a lifetime for some.)
Learn to take good photos.
Learn to tile a floor.
Learn public speaking. (I tried this and bailed after a couple months. Bailing can be ok for the right reasons.)
Learn to build wooden birdhouses.
Learn something new to help your business grow.
Learn to budget and manage your money well. (Working on this one too.)
Learn a photo editing software to “play” with your photos.
Learn to knit or crochet. (I’ve always wanted to do this! Saving for retirement.)
Learn to whittle.
Learn to upholster a piece of furniture.
Learn to restore old books.
Learn to __________________. You fill in this one.

The possibilities are endless. Find something that sounds fun–even challenging–and go for it!

How to Start/Continue the Learning Process Today:

Read. Read. Read. Learn from the “masters.”
Take an online class or a class at your local community college, community center, craft guild, music center, etc.
Ask a friend to teach you something they know well.
Ask questions of those you are learning from. Lots of questions!
Listen to podcasts. There are podcasts on pretty much any topic you can imagine.
Browse the web for DIY how-to sites, pick a project, and get to work.

If any of this seems overwhelming, just focus on taking one step at a time. Always keep your end goal in site, but break down the steps to get there into manageable pieces.

I’d love to hear what new things you have been or will be learning about. Please share in the comments section below.

Have a great day!

Jill xx

January 24, 2015/4 Comments/by Jill Gottenstrater