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Why you should act more like a child.

Yep, that’s me skipping down a wooded lane!  I’ll explain later…

Have you ever sat and watched children playing at a playground?  It’s been a while for me, but if I stop to remember, I can vividly hear the sound of feet running from place to place, the sound of joyful voices calling out to one another, and the ringing of laughter echoing across the park.

In an instant those sounds become hushed tones of excitement–the children, with their ever-curious minds, discover a colorful, fuzzy, multi-legged creature and enter into detailed discussion on how best to build a new home for him.  It doesn’t take long to formulate a plan…off they go with the unsuspecting creature in tow!

Ok, now imagine this same playground scene, but instead of kids running around, the park is filled with adults running and playing.  Ever driven by a park and seen that happen?  I haven’t.

Why is it that at some point, we as adults, turn a corner and the childlike wonder and enthusiasm we once had dissipates or disappears entirely?

I’m thinking we might want to take ourselves a little less seriously so we can experience the joy and freedom that comes with acting more like a child and less like an adult.

Take a look at the “childlike” qualities I have listed below and consider how adding a few into your adult-life repertoire will enrich your life:

Live in the moment.  Put the past behind you and don’t worry about the future.  We are adults after all, so I’m not suggesting you shirk all responsibilities, but practicing being present in the moment will greatly benefit your physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

Be curious.  Never stop asking questions.  Never stop learning.  If you think you have everything figured out, think again!

Laugh a little louder and longer.  Laughing is good for your soul.  Don’t stifle it!

Skip instead of walking.  I am a huge fan of skipping…yes, that’s me skipping in the picture above.   Sometimes, when I take the dogs out for a walk and when I think no one is looking, I’ll skip along for a block or so.  Talk about aerobic exercise!  Try it…it’s an awesome workout—it can burn up to 900 calories per hour.  It’s also a mood booster–just try to skip and not smile.  I know the neighbors might think you’re a kook, but If you’re thinking like a kid, who cares.
  
Trust a little easier.  Have you built up a wall of distrust based on past experiences?  That wall can rightly be a valid means of protection and self-preservation, but don’t allow that wall to block you from forming trust in all relationships.  Trust is the foundation in which we build strong relationships and bonds.  Try giving someone the benefit of the doubt…you just might be pleasantly surprised.

Play on the playground.  The next time you see a playground, get out there and play.  Get on that swing, pump your legs, and swing high.  Climb up the play structure and take a ride down the slide.  If you’ve got kids, don’t sit on the sidelines—get in there and play around with them.

Speak from your heart.  As adults, we create filters and if/then scenarios that can hinder authentic expression of our emotions.  Now, don’t get me wrong, filters can be a good thing, but sometimes just saying what you mean is the best way to go.

Play hand clapping games.  Remember “Say, say, oh playmate. Come out and play with me!”?  I have found that kids have a little more coordination with hand clapping games, so this exercise always provides lots of laughter!  My teenage son, who is always down for a good laugh, and I often try to set and break “clapping round” records.  Need a reminder of how to do or words to some of the songs?  Click here for some inspiration.

Slurp your spaghetti noodles.  I know there are some etiquette people out there cringing, but trust me, slurping spaghetti is liberating!  Just do your slurping at home!

Have sleepovers with one of your besties and talk until the wee hours of the night.

Cook like a kid.  Make pancakes in the shape of a snowman, a bunny, or a lizard.  Make a sandwich and cut it out in the shape of a heart or a star. 
Paint with your fingers.  Yes, finger painting is messy, but painting with your fingers takes away any rigid “art rules” or creative boundaries that you may impose on yourself.  Click here to see some REALLY AMAZING art in which the artist, Iris Scott, only uses her fingertips.

Wear a tutu over your jeans.  Seriously, I don’t think this awesome look should just be reserved for cute little girls.  If you wear a tutu, you are bound to bust out a little twirl or dancer’s leap, which is never a bad thing.

Wear a superhero shirt and remember what it feels like to believe in your “power”.

Get a coloring book and a fresh pack of crayons and color to your heart’s delight.  I used to LOVE to color.  Why would I have chosen to give that up?  I remember when my mom retired, she got a really fancy coloring book and would use colored pencils to color.  Here are some really cool coloring books like the one she had.  You can also pick up a variety of fun coloring books at the supermarket or dollar store for less than a dollar.

Take a mid-day nap.  Enough said.

Life is filled with lots of moments that require us to act like serious adults, so embrace the moments when you can let your hair down and act like a kid!

If you follow my lead and try out a few of the ideas above and hear someone say, “Don’t be so childish!” or “Act your age!”, just smile and encourage them to try it out for themselves.

I hope your day is filled with childlike joy, enthusiasm, and belly laughter!

Don’t miss a post! Sign up to receive these blog posts in your inbox every Saturday.

Jill xx

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Creating a Sanctuary in Your Home

Do you have a special place in your home that you go to read, pray, meditate, listen to music, knit, or just sit and think? A place that is devoid of distractions that could pull you away from time spent nurturing your soul?

Whether you spend five minutes or an hour a day in this space, I have found it’s an important time to set the pace and the tone for your day.

Perhaps you have a cozy chair in a quiet corner that you enjoy your coffee each morning?  Maybe you transform your kitchen table to a space to journal by candlelight when the house is dark and quiet?  Do you have a special spot in your garden or on your porch?  Maybe you’re able to devote an entire room to your personal sanctuary?

It’s not the size of the space that’s important—a corner in your house with a chair and a reading lamp will do.  Looking for something a little more private?  Transform a small closet in your home by clearing it out, put a bunch of throw pillows and a big comfy quilt down, turn on the light, close the door and enjoy your 15 minutes of undisturbed solitude.

Creating your space doesn’t have to cost anything extra either—take what you have and utilize it in a new way:  Repurpose an old basket to hold your journal and books, take the candles and the quilt you have packed away and use them.

On the other hand, don’t be afraid to invest in your space if you are able.

If you find the perfect chair, rug, journal, coffee mug, candle, or music CD to make your space special, then treat yourself.  This is bound to be one purchase you won’t regret!

You might even consider creating a “portable space.”  My bonus mom finds restoration for her soul while beading jewelry.  Because she likes a change of scenery while at home and also because she travels quite a bit, she has a tray that holds all her beading materials that she can easily carry around, whether it be to a quiet corner while staying at a bed and breakfast or visiting a friend’s house, or to a special place on her patio at home.

If you haven’t created a sanctuary in your home, I encourage you to do so today!

Need some inspiration in creating your space?  Check out Pinterest (try keywords “cozy corner”) or Houzz online for ideas, flip through magazines, or have a design-savvy friend over to help you set up your space.

Here’s a picture of my current space where I read, write, pray and sip on coffee every morning:

sanctuary reading space

I would love to see your special space!  Would you please take a picture and email to me?  Tell me where the space is located and what you love about it most.

Have a great day!

Jill xx

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Never Stop Learning

 

“The greatest enemy of learning is knowing.” John Maxwell

What do you think about Maxwell’s quote?  It’s a little counter-intuitive, isn’t it?

Knowing is good, right?

Socrates said the only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing.

Hmmmm….

The point Maxwell and Socrates are trying to make is to never stop learning.

The moment we claim to know all that we need to know is the moment we should fear, not celebrate.  There is, and always will be, more to learn.

One of the most beloved and revered coaches of all time, John Wooden, put it this way, “It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.”

When’s the last time you learned something new?  Are you working on something now, or has your life grown a bit stagnant?

If nothing’s coming to mind, this may be the perfect time to commit to learning something.

Maybe in reading this, something popped in your mind immediately that you’d like to get started on.  If so, go get ‘em!

Need some inspiration to get your “learning” juices flowing?  Here’s a list of 20 ideas to get you started:

  • Learn a new language.
  • Learn to cook. Too broad?  Learn to cook Asian food.
  • Learn to plant and grow a vegetable garden.
  • Learn a new productivity system to be more effective. (I’m working on this one now.)
  • Learn to play a musical instrument.
  • Learn to play tennis.
  • Learn to blog. (I did!)
  • Learn to sail.
  • Learn to listen. (Don’t laugh, this one can take a lifetime for some.)
  • Learn to take good photos.
  • Learn to tile a floor.
  • Learn public speaking. (I tried this and bailed after a couple months.  Bailing can be ok for the right reasons.)
  • Learn to build wooden birdhouses.
  • Learn something new to help your business grow.
  • Learn to budget and manage your money well.  (Working on this one too.)
  • Learn a photo editing software to “play” with your photos.
  • Learn to knit or crochet. (I’ve always wanted to do this!  Saving for retirement.)
  • Learn to whittle.
  • Learn to upholster a piece of furniture.
  • Learn to restore old books.
  • Learn to __________________. You fill in this one.

The possibilities are endless.  Find something that sounds fun–even challenging–and go for it!

How to Start/Continue the Learning Process Today:

  • Read. Read. Read. Learn from the “masters.”
  • Take an online class or a class at your local community college, community center, craft guild, music center, etc.
  • Ask a friend to teach you something they know well.
  • Ask questions of those you are learning from. Lots of questions!
  • Listen to podcasts. There are podcasts on pretty much any topic you can imagine.
  • Browse the web for DIY how-to sites, pick a project, and get to work.

If any of this seems overwhelming, just focus on taking one step at a time.  Always keep your end goal in site, but break down the steps to get there into manageable pieces.

I’d love to hear what new things you have been or will be learning about.  Please share in the comments section below.

Have a great day!

Jill xx

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Treat Each Day Like a Special Occasion

The next paragraph is best read using a soft, breathy, British accent.

When the world closes in on you and your head feels a size too small, apply just two dabs of Origins mind-clearing formula on the back of your neck, temples and earlobes. You’ll feel a tingling sensation as pressure, tension and tightness begin to melt away.

This is the online description for a special sensory therapy lotion I came across in my bathroom cabinet the other morning.  This lotion is so “special” that I have only used about seven “dabs” over the last nine years, when I received it as a gift.  I just discovered the little bottle costs $12 for .5 fluid ounces!  I think it may contain unicorn tears.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why I (we?) have a tendency to save up “the good stuff” for…. for what?  To use for a special occasion, I suppose.  The thing is, the special occasions that I (we) somehow deem worthy of breaking out the “good stuff” don’t seem to present themselves too often, so the “good stuff” remains tucked away unused and unappreciated.

No more!

So, with a NEW and IMPROVED mindset of making every day a “special occasion” day, I grabbed that special bottle of lotion and took it to the office to share!

I spotted a few ladies in the hallway and decided that they would be the lucky ones to experience the “sensory therapy” I had been hording all these years.  First, I dabbed some on my wrists, smiled and headed over to the lucky ladies.  Holding up the bottle, I said, “Y’all want a peace-filled day?  Try this!”

Mind you, these people have learned to trust me over the years, so they threw their wrists out to be dabbed with my special ‘Peace of Mind’ lotion.  As soon as I dabbed each of them, I brought my own wrist back up to my nose to inhale the loveliness.  Ahhh, the aroma of peace… the aroma of…

Cat urine!!

My wrist smelled like cat urine!  Or a meth lab, depending on your experience!

It took about a minute for the full cat/meth effect to grace each of their wrists.

Apparently, “special” lotions don’t smell as advertised after being stored away for nine years!  I figured it might’ve been like good wine and only gotten better.  Not the case.

Don’t worry the horrid smell was easily scrubbed away with soap and warm water.  : )

The lesson?  Don’t wait to use the good stuff.  Treat each day as it should be—as a gift.  A special occasion day.  A day deserving celebration.

I encourage you today to:

Burn the “special” candles while you sip on your morning coffee.
Use your fine china to serve your grilled cheese sandwich on at lunch.
Use the almost expired gift card to get that massage.
Grace your everyday table with the table linens that belonged to your great-grandmother.
Frame or display something that is too delicate to handle, but too special to ignore.
Carry and use the pocketknife that belonged to your granddad.
Write in the pretty journal that you have been saving for just the “right” words.

Can you relate?  What have you tucked away that you would like to bring out and celebrate this special day with?  I’m curious and would love to hear your answers.  Please leave your comments below.

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It’s Never Too Late For a Kind Word

“The word that is heard perishes, but the letter that is written remains.”  Proverb

When is the last time you received a handwritten note that actually arrived in your mailbox?

According to a US Postal Service survey, 650 million personal letters were sent in 2012, down from 850 million in 2010.  That 650 million breaks down to one personal letter per average household every seven weeks.  The downward trend continues as electronic communications have become a preferred method by many.

We are blessed with amazing technology that keeps us connected day to day, but some things deserve more than words pecked out on a screen or keyboard and sent off with the click of a button.

For example, a sympathy note…

I can’t tell you all the opportunities I have missed over the years in sending someone a handwritten note, but let me tell you about the one that has prompted me to write this post.

Last year I found out through a Facebook post that a friend of mine had lost her father.  Along with many others, I sent an electronic message to her immediately in response to the sad news.

This was a close friend who I had lost touch with over the last couple of years, but regardless of the distance in seeing or speaking to one another, I loved her and I knew her heart was aching.

What I didn’t do, what I should have done, what I still haven’t done, was sit down and write her a handwritten note expressing my sympathy.  It wasn’t that I didn’t think about it.  I did!  I worried over not using the right words in the note, so days turned to weeks and weeks to months…still no note.

As time went on, I became embarrassed that I had not properly acknowledged this huge loss in her life, so that became the reason I didn’t send the note.

Guess what?

I am 274 days late, but I am sending my friend a proper sympathy note today.  There are no statute of limitations on kind words, right?!

Here’s what I’ve learned:

There are no perfect words.  It is especially hard to write to someone who has suffered a loss.  My best advice is to write from your heart and keep it simple.  The words matter, but the effort matters more.  Don’t be afraid of white space on a page…it’s the quality of your words that matter, not the quantity.

If you get stuck and are at a loss for words, click here for some wording suggestions that you can use for sympathy notes as well as a variety of other occasions.

Act quickly.  Oftentimes we don’t take action because we aren’t prepared.  Keep a stock of notecards/stationery and stamps handy so that when an occasion arises in which a handwritten note is necessary, you are ready.  If you don’t have anything on hand, a plain piece of computer paper will do.

You may want to print out some of those phrases or messages that we discussed earlier and have them right there with your stationery.

Write the note and get it sent out within a few days of the announcement or notice.

It’s never too late.  Don’t wait 274 days like I did, but if you do, don’t let your shame or embarrassment stop you from taking action.  You will never regret showing kindness.

Do you have a note that needs to be written?  Whether it’s acknowledging someone’s loss, the birth of a baby, a new marriage, the breakup of a marriage, or any other major life event, remember that written words are powerful and yours will mean more than you know.

Headed off to the mailbox now!  Have a great day!

Jill xx

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Overcoming Slumps, Depression, and the Blues

Can you relate?

The holiday hoopla is over, family and friends have left, and you have read one too many “depressing” articles on how great this New Year is going to be.

Great for who?

Those who “have it all together”?

Here it is the New Year and you’re still trying to figure out what went wrong last year and how you will fix those problems, much less launch into goals for the New Year!

Did you know that depression, ranging from moderate to severe cases, affects nearly 350 million people worldwide?

Maybe you can relate.  Maybe you know someone else who might be able to relate.  Either way, it’s important to read and share the following bit of information and encouragement intended for those who are in a season in life in which they are in a slump, are depressed, or are struck with the blues.

I suffered from moderate depression and anxiety after my mother died unexpectantly several years ago.  I can tell you from experience, when you are down, it seems that everything is in a conspiracy to keep you down.

As there are varying degrees of depression, this post, is in no way meant to be the fix-it-all piece of advice.  What I am offering here are suggestions that I pray will help even one person.

Ask for help.  Let’s get one thing straight…there is NO shame in asking for help.  Whether it be from a trusted friend, a professional counselor, medical doctor, or pastor, there are people who have either spent a great deal of time learning how best to help people just like you, or in the case of a friend, love you and want the best for you.  Please allow someone to help you.  I talk about perspective later, but sometimes all you will need is the perspective of an outsider to help you break through the fog that has settled over you.  (Finding a reliable professional source of help can be overwhelming; ask a friend or family member to help you with this process.)

Don’t allow negative self-talk to perpetuate lies. Did you know that we have 50,000 thoughts running around in our heads each and every day?  Most of these thoughts, both positive and negative, are automatic, so since you can’t stop the negative thoughts from coming altogether, you best figure out a way to deal with them.  I wrote an article with four specific ways to overcome these negative thoughts; click here to read.

Remember the good.  Every single one of us has a reservoir of good memories to pull from.  For some it may be more than others, but the point is to find a few memories that you can draw from to make you smile, to lighten your mood, to remember that happiness is possible.  Now, don’t go walking down memory lane and get stuck there…you will be creating NEW good memories in the future.  Remembering things fondly (meditating on them) is merely a tool you can use to help increase your mood.  Meditation (not just clearing your mind of all thoughts, but being mindful of a good memory), certain foods, and exercise have been proven to increase your body’s dopamine (a chemical in our body that can increase motivation) levels.

Get moving.  You may have to force yourself to get up and out, but exercise is critical to feeling well, both physically and emotionally.  Research shows that exercise can improve your mood.  Endorphins, hormones released when you exercise, will trigger positive feelings.  This is what people are referring to when they talk about the “runner’s high.”

Get a new perspective.  There are times, whether you are naturally a positive or a negative thinker, that you will need a new perspective to get you on the right track.  As I mentioned earlier, this help may come through a friend, a counselor, or a pastor, but there are other ways you can help yourself.  Read uplifting, helpful, funny books, and surround yourself with positive people.  Sometimes books with short, easy to read chapters with encouraging, simple positive actions highlighted may be the best.  Other times reading a story of an inspirational person may help.

“You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.” Marianne Williamson

Show gratitude.  There is and will always be something to be thankful for.  During World War 2, Corrie ten Boom and her family were arrested for hiding Jews from the Nazis and ended up in one of the worst concentration camps in Nazi Germany, Ravensbrück.  Do you want to know one of the things she found to be thankful for during her time at this concentration camp?  Fleas!  Corrie and her dormitory mates had fleas so badly that the guards avoided them.  They saw this as a form of protection and chose to give thanks in all circumstances.  Corrie writes about her experience in The Hiding Place.

Even in the worst situation, there will always be something to be grateful for.  Dig deep.  Maybe you will express gratitude for running water, a roof over your head, a source of heat in the winter, a friend that checks in on you, a bowl of cereal…you get the point.  It’s a good idea to write down what you are grateful for.  This practice will reinforce positive thoughts and will change your life.  Start by getting a pen and paper and writing three things you are grateful for right now.  Continue with this daily and you will notice the benefits.

Help others.  You may be thinking that you are having a hard enough time helping yourself, how can you help someone else??  When you extend help to others you will feel useful, and connected.  There are all types of volunteer opportunities in your community, from working at a homeless shelter, to tutoring a student, to walking dogs at an animal shelter.  Find something that interests you and get started as soon as possible.

Celebrate the small victories.  In the morning when you get out of bed without crying, celebrate!  When you have a good conversation with a person you are constantly in conflict with, celebrate!  When you make it one day without having a drink, celebrate!  When you are able to enjoy a meal without obsessing over the calories, celebrate!  When you begin putting $15 from each paycheck into a savings account, celebrate!  Never discount a single, small victory in your battle to gain control of your life.  It’s a good idea to keep a journal recording these victories (put them right in there with your gratitude journal).  Chances are, if you don’t record them, you will forget the positive strides you are making.

If you have thoughts of suicide please call The National Suicide Prevention Line at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Lastly, if you are reading this and know someone who may be depressed, please reach out to them.  Sometimes knowing someone cares makes all the difference in the world.

I appreciate you sharing this post.

Jill xx

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How To Set and Achieve Your Goals in the New Year

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”  – Henry David Thoreau

As we approach the New Year, 45% of Americans will set a New Year’s resolution.  The most common resolutions involve losing weight, getting organized, and spending less and saving more money.  The bummer is that only 8% of those will be successful in achieving their resolution.  Only 8%!

The dictionary defines resolution as a firm decision to do or not to do something.  Whereas, a goal is defined as the object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.

In years past I have resolved to exercise more and boy oh boy, those first three or four weeks were awesome!!  Next thing I knew excuses would slip in as to why something else was a better use of my time.  Sometimes that “something” was nothing but catching the latest episode of House Hunters International!

What went wrong?

Most people who fail in their New Year’s resolutions set unrealistic goals and/or expectations and oftentimes resolve to do something that they are not really ready to do.  In the case of my failed resolution attempt, it was not taking into account the type of exercise that would be fun and motivational for me, and setting overambitious, unrealistic goals—a surefire way to burn out.

As Thoreau points out in his statement above, it’s what you become by achieving your goals that is important.

We all want to be the best version of ourselves and lead meaningful lives, right?  If so, we must first get serious with deciding on what it is that we will resolve to do to become that best version of ourselves.

How do we do this?

We set goals that get to the heart of who or what we want to become.

Following are some tips and points to consider as you set your goals in an effort to be the best YOU for the New Year and beyond!

REFLECT on the past year—the good, the bad, and the ugly.  What were you most proud of, what did you enjoy the most, what failure can you learn from, what helped you to become more of the person you want to be?  Reflection will help you to examine and learn from your past experiences in order to fine-tune your future steps.

DON’T COPY someone else’s goals just because you think they’re awesome.  It’s ok to look to others for inspiration, but it’s critical to set goals that are realistic and unique to you.  As Oscar Wilde put it, “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.”

BE INCLUSIVE.  It’s important to give attention to all areas in your life when setting goals.  If your goals are all centered on finances and you ignore the relationships in your life, then you will never achieve a life of balance or be the best version of yourself.  I broke down my goals this year into four categories: Well-being (includes exercise, diet, and spirituality), Relationships, Business, and Financial.  I then included 3-5 goals under each category.  Be careful about setting too many goals—overwhelming yourself like this can cause you to abandon ALL your goals.

THINK SMART.  S.M.A.R.T. goal-setting is a method used to define and break down goals in the following way: Specific, Measureable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-Bound.  Click here for an in-depth post I wrote about using this method.

WRITE YOUR GOALS DOWN and you will be 42% more likely to achieve success with those goals.  Enough said.  Click here to check out Dr. Gail Matthews’ research on the subject.  By the way, I wrote my goals in a journal a friend gave me for Christmas and then I use this goal-setting worksheet I created to work on the details.

SHARE WITH SOMEONE YOU TRUST.  I am a firm believer in having an accountability partner for certain goals.  This person can be someone actively involved in helping you to achieve your goals or they can be someone you periodically count on to bounce ideas off or receive a word of encouragement or advice from.  Please choose this person carefully–forget about the “smoke-blowers” and the naysayers and choose someone who has your best interest at heart.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!  You are your best advocate.  Don’t let negative self-talk make you believe something that is not true.

Wishing you a New Year filled with blessings!

One last thing…I’ve got some great stuff planned this next year for my blog. Don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss a thing!  Just enter your email in the box above or below this post and you will receive new posts via email each week.

Jill xx

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Overwhelmed by the Holidays?

Tis the season to be…..

Overwhelmed??

Wait a minute.  I thought this was supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year!

Each year I see more and more people running around trying to complete an insanely huge list of things they think they should get done during the holiday season.  It’s important to note that most of these people running around do not have smiles on their faces.

Did you know that holiday gift shopping is up 8% from last year and shoppers around the country say they are planning to spend an average of $861?  That’s a lot of money and who decided that more is more!  The upside this year is that 54% of these shoppers will not be adding to the traffic jams around town because they will be making their purchases online.

Whether you are in full overwhelm mode, are in denial of your state of overwhelm, or it’s just about to set in, here are a few suggestions to make this holiday season a little merrier and bright.

Prioritize.  What is the most important thing about the holiday season to you?  Put aside what you think you should do and decide what is truly important to you.  Is it spending time with family?  Volunteering in the community?  Having the best Christmas light show in town?  Make a list and spend your time on the top two to three items.  Chances are those items that fall to the bottom of the list are the culprits that kick you into overwhelm each year.  Get rid of them and don’t feel guilty about it.

Get Rid of the Guilt.  A lot of the guilt we feel during the holiday season is based on not meeting a list of unrealistic expectations.  Guess what?  When you create the priority list above, you are starting fresh and setting your own realistic expectations.  For example, for years I felt guilty when I didn’t send out Christmas cards.  The problem was that I wanted to personalize each and every one and that would take forever, so instead I didn’t do anything at all.  One year I decided to send a card to anyone I loved that was over the age of 80.  I accomplished my Christmas card task that year.  Granted, I only had to send 5 or 6 cards, but I did it.  The key was taking a task and making it manageable and realistic for me.

Curb the Cookie Cussing!  When you are cursing under your breath while baking the 27th batch of cookies, it may be time to step away from the rolling pin!  If you have committed to making cookies for your 27 closest friends, but hate every minute of it—stop it!  Your friends will still love you, even if you don’t deliver cookies to their doorstep this year.  Don’t want to deprive yourself of the entire baking experience?  Maybe making a batch of cookies with your family on Christmas Eve is more manageable and realistic for you.

Party Like It’s 1999 or Not!  Don’t feel that you have to attend every holiday party.  You may get uninvited in future years, I know I have, but adding 22 parties to your already busy schedule can drag you down.  Question?  Why does everyone and their brother choose to throw a party in December anyway?  I know our houses look pretty with all the decorations, but wouldn’t it be great if groups of friends would put the names of all the months in a hat and draw out their designated party month?  This way we would have a nice party to look forward to each month throughout the year!

Be a Blessing to Others.  There are lots of opportunities in each of our communities to be a blessing to those who are less fortunate or lonely.  Consider helping out at a homeless shelter or food bank, sing carols at a nursing home, visit a home-bound person who doesn’t have family around, or donate a gift for a child that may only receive that one gift.

How are you doing this holiday season?  Are you in the overwhelmed category or have you found a good balance?  Tell us about it in the comment section below.

Wishing you each a very peaceful and happy holiday season filled with love!

Jill xx

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Being a Person of Influence

If you ask someone who they think is the most influential person in history, you are likely to hear names like: Abraham Lincoln, Jesus, Michelangelo, Ghandi, Oprah, and Steve Jobs.

TIME magazine publishes The 100 Most Influential People issue each year.  Their recipients are placed in the following categories:

  • Titans
  • Pioneers
  • Artists
  • Leaders
  • Icons

The dictionary defines influence as the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something.

Read that definition again slowly.

The capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone…

Do you realize the incredible amount of influence you have right now?

You have influence on your family, your friends, your co-workers, the teller at the bank, your neighbor, the child you tutor…the list goes on.

Every interaction you have, every word that comes from your mouth, every look you give, has the power to influence someone—in a good way, or a bad way.

Influence is a double-edged sword, isnt’ it?  Jesus and Hitler were two very influential people, with two very different outcomes.  A parent making good decisions vs. a parent making bad decisions—both influential, with two very different outcomes.  A loyal friend vs. someone who betrays—both influential, with two very different outcomes.

The choice in how you influence others is yours.

You may not end up on the cover of TIME magazine, but that doesn’t matter.  You have the power to be an influential person–choose to be one of good influence, you probably already are.

Following are traits I see in the most influential people:

Honest.
Kind.
Helpful.
Encouraging.
Neighborly.
Supportive.
Understanding.
Forgiving.
Listens.
Receptive.
Shares their knowledge.
Loving.

Who is/was the most influential person in your life and why?  I would love to hear about this person.  Leave your comments below.

Have a great day!

Jill xx

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Dreams Can Come True

Last week we talked about dreaming big and why many of us do not.

The main reasons I see dreams dashed are: fear, procrastination, and listening to negative talk–either from yourself or others.

Did you notice I didn’t say the main reason people don’t fulfill their dreams is because they don’t have an MBA or gobs of money in the bank?

Following are 8 steps that anyone can use to begin the process of making their dream become a reality.  

“A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, and hard work.” ~ Colin Powell

  1.  Find your passion. Sounds easy doesn’t it? For some people it is.  For the rest of us, it can be a life-time struggle and endless search.

Merriam-Webster defines passion as:  A strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something.

With this definition in mind, here are a few questions for you to ponder:

  • What is so exciting that it keeps you up at night?
    Writing, cooking, knitting, opening a restaurant, wanting to help others, drawing, etc.?  You fill in the “blank”.
    NOTE: If you read my last post, you may have already worked on this list.  If not, grab a notepad or journal and jot down some ideas now.
  • Here’s another way to look at it.  What do you get supercharged about?  In conversation, what topic pops up that you just can’t get enough of?  For me, it’s talking to someone about their dreams and goals in life and helping them to figure out a game plan to make it all a reality.
  • What are you curious about?
  • What is most important to you in life?  Stability, adventure, comfort, helping others, tons of money, early retirement, etc.?

What sticks out on your list?  Did something in particular rise to the surface?  Yes?  If so, move on to the next step.

If you didn’t come up with anything earthshaking today, don’t worry.  These questions are good ones to get you thinking and exploring ideas.  Put your list down and come back to it later.  For now, let’s move on to the next step.

  1.  Dreams can come true. Have you admitted to yourself that the ideas and excitement that keep you up at night are part of a dream that could actually become your reality? Sometimes we keep our dreams in a little box that we only allow ourselves to take quick peeks inside before closing it up again.

I dreamed about starting this blog three years before I actually did.  I came up with every imaginable excuse of why it wouldn’t work… you don’t know how to write, who wants to hear what you have to say, stick with helping others figure out how to achieve their dreams–not your own, you don’t have time for any “side” projects.  Want to know the turning point for making my dream of creating this blog come true?  Long story short, I had a neck injury that had me lying flat on my back in pain for several days.  Besides praying for relief, I reflected on what’s important in life.  I realized that writing this blog was something I felt I was meant to do, even if that meant me stepping out of my comfort zone.

  1.  Realize if your dream is just that–a dream (best left on the pillow). If you are 50 years old, have never ice skated, but have decided that you are going to make your Olympic ice skating career a reality, it may be in your best interest to come up with a dream that’s a bit more realistic. The next step (#4) will help reel you in with this one.  You may come to realize that some things are better enjoyed as hobbies.
  2.  Take action. Ok, so now you’ve got a great idea and you are convinced it’s not just a pipe dream. Time to get moving! If you don’t start, you’re not going to get anywhere, are ya? I suggest you define and evaluate your goals by using the S.M.A.R.T goal setting method.

Here’s how to break down the S.M.A.R.T. acronym:

  • SPECIFIC – What do you want to accomplish?  Break it down.  Be very specific.
    Not specific: I will write a book.
    Specific: I will write 2 chapters in my book every week.
  • MEASURABLE – Figure out how to quantifiably measure your goal.  Put some concrete numbers down here.
    Not measureable: I will earn a ton of money when my book is published.
    Measureable: I will earn $175,000 in profit after publishing my first book.
  • ATTAINABLE – Is your goal something that can be achieved within the framework of what you can commit to?
    Not attainable: I will write 14 hours per day while holding down my full-time day job, too.
    Yes: I will spend 2 hours per night devoted to writing.
  • REALISTIC – This goes back to the Olympic figure skating example earlier.  Is your goal realistic within your abilities, experience, etc.?
    Not realistic: I will skate in the next Winter Olympics at the age of 51.
    Realistic: I will take ice skating lessons and join an over 50 ice skating club.
  • TIME BOUND – Every goal should have a deadline.  I have found that when I don’t assign a deadline, the goal will be pushed back to the end of the line time and again.
    Not time bound: I will write two books.
    Time bound: I will write my first book by the end of the year and complete my second book within 18 months following.

I have created a form to help you organize your S.M.A.R.T. goals.  Click here to download your free S.M.A.R.T. goal tracker.

“Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.”  ~ Conrad Hilton

  1.  Let it evolve.  Now that you’ve got your S.M.A.R.T. goals written down, don’t let how you think the plan should play out overrule the organic evolution of “the dream”. Often times we try to control the outcome so much that we miss out on the beauty of the natural creative flow that takes place. Yes, it’s important to write down goals and have a plan of action, but there may be opportunities that present themselves along the way that change the course a bit.  How you get there may change, just keep the end goal in focus!
  2.  Don’t get distracted. Do you tend to have the “shiny object” problem? At times I will be steadily working on a project and decide to stop and check my emails.  The “I’ll just check real quick,” does not work.  The next thing I know, I have responded to several emails, checked Facebook, and it’s an hour later.  Don’t allow yourself to be caught in a time-suck that throws you off your game!  Stay focused!
  3.  Visualize your dreams coming true.  This part is fun! Who hasn’t had the, “What would you do if you won the lottery conversation?” When we visualize a desired outcome, our brains can sense that motivation and new ideas will begin to materialize.  My husband visualized hitting a softball solidly out of the park when we were on an amateur league at my office years ago.  You know what?  Almost every single time he stepped up to bat, he hit it out of the park!  A large part of training takes place when you close your eyes.  Visualizing creates muscle memory.  The same idea can work to help you see your dreams come to fruition.
  4.  Celebrate your successes (even the ones that some people call failures). Cue the Kool & The Gang song… ♪ ♪ Celebrate good times, come on! ♪ ♪  Determine “success milestones” and celebrate your accomplishments. The process of realizing your dreams can be hard work! Go ahead and pat yourself on the back…treat yourself to a large pepperoni pizza…get that mani/pedi—and then get back to work.

On the other hand, learn from your mistakes. Consider your mistakes a gift.  A gift that is used wisely will bring you much success in the future.  The key is to avoid making the same mistakes again and again.

Ok, so now you have 8 steps to get you moving in the right direction to making your dreams come true.

Hold on!  I’m going to add one more important step.  Let’s call it THE GOLDEN BONUS STEP.  This one will take some courage but will pay off.

Here it is…THE GOLDEN BONUS STEP!  Tell me (in the comment section below) what two steps you will take in the next 24 hours to work toward your dream.  Don’t let this step intimidate you.  Maybe your two steps will be to print out the goal setting sheet and spend 15 minutes each day over the next week working on completing the sheet.  That’s awesome!!  As a matter of fact, you can just copy what I just wrote and paste it in the comment section below.  Sometimes just publicly saying you are going to do something, will keep you motivated (and held accountable) when you feel like giving up.

Remember, I am here to offer you direction and encouragement along the way.  If you have questions on anything I have written about here, just ask.  I would love to help you work toward making your dreams come true!

If you found this post helpful, inspiring, or just plain awesome, please be kind and share with others.

Jill xx

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