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The Power of 5 Minute Tasks

We all have 5 minutes to spare, here and there, throughout the day.  Over the last several months, I’ve uncovered the magic of what all can really happen in 5 minutes.

It lies in the power of choosing a task and working on it for 5 minutes straight without interruption.  This may be a task at home, work, or when you’re out and about.  You might be thinking, “What can I get done in 5 minutes?  I’ve got a pile of stuff to tackle and I’m lucky if I can get up and out the door each morning.”  I know!  I always thought that, too, but the reality is, you can get a lot done in 5 minutes.

I have included 9 simple ideas below to spend your 5 minutes.

But before you dive in, trust this:  One of three things will happen when you accept the 5-minute challenge:

  1. You will complete an entire task that you may have otherwise decided to put off until “you have more time”.  If you like to check things off your to-do list, 5-minute tasks are the best!
  2. You will whittle away at a larger task.  As you continue to spend your 5 minute sessions on this larger task, before you know it, the entire task will be complete.  Whittling away at a task can make a daunting task seem less overwhelming.
  3. You will start with 5 minutes, but when you see the progress you’ve just made, your motivation and momentum kick in and (if and when you have time) you’ll find yourself still working on the task, happily, an hour later.

5-Minute Challenge Task Ideas:

1. De-clutter/Organize.  A cluttered or unorganized house, car, or office not only clutters your physical space, but also clutters your mind.  By spending 5 minutes de-cluttering an area, you will be happy, not only with the aesthetic value, but for the internal peace it will bring you as well.
I’m still a work in progress in this area, but here are a few handy tips that help me de-clutter and organize in 5 minutes:

1.  Pick one small area to focus on.  You’ve got 5 minutes, so pick an area within an area, if you can.  For example, while you may decide to target your closet as an overall project, decide on one section within your closet to tackle in the 5 minute period: Fold, organize, and create a giveaway pile for all sweaters.  The same could go for any single item or area of your closet: shoes, scarfs, seasonal clothes, etc.     
2. Set your timer.
3. Get to work.
4. Mark down your progress in a journal or tracking sheet.  This is not a necessity, but it’s a great way to keep yourself accountable, systematically work through the various areas in need, and is an excellent visual way to celebrate your successes.
2. Clean.  I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand leaving the house with dirty dishes in the sink.  Not long ago, I went to bed without doing the dinner dishes (a big lasagna dinner), woke up late the next morning, and with 5 minutes to spare before running out the door, looked at those dishes and had a deep dread of coming home to that mess.  Instead, I threw on an apron and got to work on those dishes.  I kid you not, that mountain of caked on lasagna mess was cleaned in 5 minutes.  What I thought for sure I’d need a good 30 minutes to clean, was done in 5 minutes.  DISCLAIMER:  I do have a dishwasher, but I thoroughly scrub my dishes before putting them in.
Cleaning your bathroom for 5 minutes also works wonders.  I remember a friend’s mom told me when I was in high school that if you spend a few minutes cleaning your bathroom a couple times a week, you never really have to do a DEEP cleaning, because it never gets dirty enough.  I keep disinfectant wipes in my bathroom and follow this wise woman’s advice once or twice a week and it keeps things fresh and the need for a deep clean to a minimum.
Same goes for most any area of your house.  Got get ’em!
 
3. Take a mental time out.  Not the same as meditation, but a deliberate 5 minutes of just slowing down to breath deeply, take a look at the beauty around you, or just sit and enjoy the silence around you. 
 
4. Quick email/text/note/call to a handful of people to catch up.  ‘Tis better to hear something than nothing at all, right?  Trust me, friends, I’ve been the worst at this at times.  I’ve decided not to reach out to someone because I didn’t have 30 minutes to devote to a “proper” conversation.  Well, that 30 minutes of free time doesn’t present itself very often, so chances are you just won’t communicate to that person at all.  Is letting a year pass by better than a quick “Hi!  Thinking about you today.  Hope you have an awesome day!” text, email, or voicemail?  I think not.  Personally, I’d rather hear that from a friend.  I’m busy, too, so being on the receiving end of that text would be a relief for me.  How about you?
Read an article I wrote here about a note I sent that was 274 days late.
 
5. Pray and meditate.  You’d be surprised how many people, concerns, and thanksgivings you can cover in a 5 minute prayer session.  Seriously–you’ll walk away feeling so much hope and goodwill in your heart.  And if you’ve ever sat still quietly in meditation for 2 minutes – let alone, 5 minutes – you know how beneficial it can be.
 
6. Brainstorm an idea.  Have you had an idea you’ve been thinking about, but always push it to the backseat because you “just don’t have the time”?  Well, you won’t believe what a 5 minute brainstorming session using a pencil and paper can produce.  Try this  mind-mapping technique I wrote about here.  I use this technique on almost all my blog posts and I’m always amazed at what comes out on paper when I do this.
 
7. Book an appointment.  There’s bound to be something on your to-do list that you keep pushing down the priority list, but you really need to get done.  Let’s face it, scrolling through Facebook for 5 minutes is a whole lot more fun than calling to listen to an automated voice direct us through unending options, to finally get stuck with someone on the other side of the line who appears to not be having the best day and her voice is implying you are part of the reason!  However, the dental appointment, vet appointment, appointment to get your boiler serviced, or that dreaded colonoscopy appointment needs to be made.  NOTE: My current dentist and vet both have friendly people on the other end of the line. : )
 
8. Move your body.  People (talking to myself here, too !!!), we have been given this one body to last us for possibly century.  How can we expect to avoid health problems if we don’t show a little love and respect to our bodies??  We must do more.  And 5 minutes can go a long way.  Stretch, take a quick walk, do an exercise that can be done at your desk, at home, or in the grocery line.
I have these neck/shoulder exercises that I really should do several days per week in order to prevent further injury and guess what?  I cannot tell you how many days – even weeks – I have put off doing these exercises.  It’s crazy!  Especially when they don’t take that long and they’re not hard.
After re-injuring my neck/shoulder a few months ago, I printed out the exercises my physical therapist gave me and taped them to the inside of the cabinet that houses my coffee cups.  So now, when I’m brewing my coffee (which takes 5.5 minutes), I do my exercises (which only take 4.5 minutes).

9. Journal.  You don’t have to write a novel each time you journal.  It’s actually a bit freeing to set a timer for 5 minutes and just write.  A 5 minute “stream of consciousness” can be a really fun exercise.  Just pick one person, place, or thing to write about and let it flow!

So, now you’ve got 9 ideas to inspire and motivate you to get started on your 5-minute challenge.

Will you commit to trying this over the next week?  You can choose to do one 5-minute task each day or maybe a few 5-minute tasks per day.

TIP:  I’ve found that when I tie my task to something like the time it takes to brew my coffee or for my dogs to eat their breakfast and go out to the bathroom, or for the clothes in the dryer to fluff, it helps me remember to do the task and also makes me want to try to “beat the clock” which is fun.

I’d love to hear from you.  Let me know how you’re crushing your 5-minute tasks.

Here’s to getting stuff done!

Enjoy your day.

Jill xx
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How Anticipating a Fun Future Event Will Bring You Happiness

What if I told you that there’s a way to bring happiness and excitement to your day, no matter how busy, stressed, or distracted you might feel?  Aaaand, it won’t cost you a thing.

Cue the dreamy music with you sitting with your head tilted, chin propped as you gaze wistfully to the heavens.

Now, answer these two questions:

First, is there something coming up in the next few weeks or months that you’re really looking forward to?

I’m guessing, with the summer months on the horizon, you might have some sort of trip planned, or better yet, for some, a stay-cation.  Maybe you have an old friend coming for a visit, a family reunion, or you’ve signed up for a fun class at your local community college.  Maybe it’s anything related to your favorite holiday that gets you excited.

Second question:  How often do you think about this future event?

If the last time you thought about it was a month ago when you booked your airfare, made your reservation, or made plans with a friend for a visit — or in the case of a holiday — you only begin thinking about it just a couple of weeks out, I’d like to suggest you think about, and eagerly anticipate, your fun future plans more.

Why?  Because I want you to experience Rosy Prospection, like I do.

Rosy prospection is when a person’s anticipation of a planned event is greater than the actual experience.  It’s when you get excited just thinking about the future event you’ll be embarking on.  Friends, anticipation is half the fun!

I got to thinking about this when a friend stopped by the other day and laughed when she saw that the only thing I had on my 12 month wall calendar was my vacation and a few other work obligations that I didn’t want to forget.  Might I add that the vacation notation was in fancy lettering with green ink and palm trees sketched in!

Making a fun reminder on a visible calendar was just a small part of rosy prospecting for this eagerly anticipated future trip.   Other things I did in anticipation, other than the typical planning and organizing for the trip, was checking the weather of the place I’d be visiting, looking at pictures on Instagram that other people posted, researching restaurants, hikes and other fun stuff to do in the area, and most fun of all, talking about the upcoming trip with my husband.  Doing these things basically stretched out my vacation experience from the actual one week of vacation to several months of fun anticipation.

Maybe you don’t have anything big, like a trip, coming up.  That’s OK!  It’s fun to utilize rosy prospection for daily and weekly events too.

My husband thinks this is crazy, but I eagerly anticipate what’s for dinner while I’m eating breakfast!  Don’t let this make you think I’m an expert meal planner either.  I just love food, so I enjoy thinking about my forthcoming meals.

During certain times of the year, a friend and I go walking at the beautiful Biltmore Estate.  This is a weekly event that I eagerly anticipate in the days leading up to it.

Friends, sometimes we can get bogged down in the everyday routine of life, and I guarantee that if you add a little rosy prospection to your days, you will receive a nice boost of happiness and excitement.

Here’s to all of us enjoying the anticipation of fun future events!

Jill xx

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How To Stop Stressing Over Things Beyond Your Control

How much time would you say you spend worrying or stressing over things you have no control over?

You know, worrying about these types of things:

  • How people will perceive you.
  • How people will react to you.
  • The type of upbringing you had, and all the complications that came from it.
  • The illness that may cripple you or your loved ones.
  • A financial disaster that drains your savings account or puts you in major debt.
  • Betrayal of a friend.
  • If your husband decides to cheat on you.
  • Whether your kids will apply themselves in school.
  • The state of the housing and stock markets.
  • The decisions someone else makes.
  • When your loved ones will die.
  • How long you will have a certain job.
  • The weather.
  • Who your children pick as friends.
  • The exact route your life will take.

Yes, it would be nice if we had more control over these things, but the reality is, we don’t.

One thing we do have control over in these situations, is how we react.

I’ve found that there are some simple things each of us can do to help ourselves to be better reactors through the various situations we experience.  It’s the old M.B.S. technique!  Have you heard of it?

M.B.S. = Mind. Body. Soul.

If you focus your attention on developing and maintaining these three areas in your life, I dare say, you are guaranteed to better handle (react to) the things that come your way that you have little to no control over.

Mind. You’ve heard the saying, “Trash in, trash out.”  You have control over what goes in your mind, and in turn, what comes out.  What are you filling your mind with?  Good books?  Inspiring music?  The voices of positive people?  Truth?
Maybe you lean a little more to the side of: Crap TV.  Negative people’s voices. Your own negative voice. Getting stuck in the comparison trap.  Listening to lies.  When posing questions like these, it’s good to think about them from an objective (or outsider’s) perspective if you can.  Sometimes we can be more honest with ourselves this way.  Put yourself in someone else’s shoes and see where you can make some adjustments.

A strong, focused, happy mind will aid you in making good decisions through good and bad times.

Click here to read my article on how to create healthy boundaries with toxic people.

Body.  I am positive I handle stress better when I exercise.  This has been tested, so why is it that I haven’t been regular about getting my walks in?!?  Ugh.  That’s another blog altogether!  Studies show that exercise reduces stress, anxiety, depression, and fatigue.  It fights disease, helps manage pain, and improves your sleep.  It also helps you focus and improves overall mental function.  Just getting up and walking twice a day for 15 minutes will bring about huge benefits.

Just as important as moving your body is what you put in your body.  Remember the saying, “You are what you eat”?  Whenever I hear this, I picture two people walking down the street together, one is basically a greasy cheeseburger with legs and french fry hair, and the other is a carrot with legs, sporting a pair of running shoes.  Since I love greasy cheeseburgers, I take the moderation route with food.  I enjoy my greasy cheeseburger from time to time, but also make sure to pack carrots in my lunch and drink lots of water.  Just remember, if you’re only eating fatty, processed foods, you aren’t loving your body the way you should, and there’s a good chance you’ll experience health setbacks.

Soul.  Do you know the old hymn, It Is Well With My Soul?  Horatio Spafford wrote this popular hymn after several years of great loss:  his two year old son died, he experienced huge personal and business financial losses, and he then lost four daughters in a ship wreck.  He wrote the hymn while traveling by sea near where his daughters had perished.  It nearly seems impossible, doesn’t it?  To come to a place where, after tragedy piled upon tragedy, you can say, “It is well with my soul.”  Horatio drew his strength from his relationship with God.  Is it well with your soul?  Where do you draw your strength from?  We can learn from Horatio that spending time in “soul work” is critical for times when we are smacked with a situation we  have little to no control over.

Friends, if you focus on these three areas — mind, body, and soul — you’ll feel good and be better equipped to handle the difficult situations that come your way.

Here’s to developing and maintaining the good health of your mind, body, and soul.

With love,

Jill xx

 

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How to Create Healthy Boundaries With Toxic People

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” — Stephen Covey

I hope you have lots of awesome people in your life, but for our purposes today, we’re going to talk about the toxic people in our lives.

We’ve all got one or two of these toxic relationships, the question is, how do we deal with them?

I’ve found that when I’m around someone toxic, their toxicity bleeds out on me, and with prolonged “exposure”, I’m likely to have toxic reactions: outbursts of anger, saying things I don’t mean, complaining, being argumentative, and being stressed out in general.  Your reactions may manifest themselves in different ways, but what we both share is that we allow someone else’s toxic behavior to affect us in a detrimental way.

Did you notice the words “we allow” in that last sentence?  You and I both have the ability to either remove the toxic person from our lives completely, or at least limit our interactions with them.  This is the process of creating healthy boundaries for yourself.

I know there are certain relationships where it feels like you’re stuck, or you don’t know how to limit your interactions without a huge ordeal.  Today, we’re going to work through two different exercises:  1. Identifying the people who are toxic in our lives, and 2. How to establish healthy boundaries.

First, I want you to read an example I created that lays out a few boundary scenarios.  I think this might help you gain perspective where some people fit in your life.

Imagine you lived next door to your best friend.  When you moved in to your houses, there was a fence dividing your yards.  Because you love hanging out with your friend and you both would like to pass back and forth freely for cookouts and the like, the two of you may decide to take the fence down.  You may have another neighbor that you like, but you’d like a nice picket fence between the two of you with a gate.  The gate is physically and symbolically a barrier to entry.  But, with invitation, the gate is still an easy way to pass back and forth.  On the flip side, imagine you live next door to a neighbor who is difficult, rude, ruthless, disrespectful, and junky.  With this type of person as a neighbor, you may decide to erect a six foot, gate-less fence between your two houses so that your interactions are very limited.  In this last scenario, you may also decide to move to another neighborhood.

Just as with neighbors — some, who you love (others, not so much), all our relationships would do well to go through a boundary test.  You will choose to allow some people free access to you (no fence), others may need some healthy boundaries constructed (a gate as a barrier to entry), while some people are not welcome to any access, and you don’t care to ever see them (the six foot fence or a moving van in your driveway).

Friends, family, co-workers…we live in a world where we interact with many people on any given day.  Awesome people, kind people, annoying people, mean people, funny people, abusive people, rude people, selfish people.  For those that cross your path that are toxic, it’s time you properly identify them and establish healthy boundaries.

Let’s begin with an identification exercise.  You may have a person or two that pop in your head automatically, but still complete the exercise, because it’s good to not only identify the toxic person, but define what it is that makes your relationship toxic.  Someone may fit in every category on the list, and you’ll decide to end the relationship altogether, while someone else may be toxic in one area that you can either establish a proper boundary, or you can make a plan to try and help that person overcome the toxic behavior.

Grab a pencil and paper.

Write down the top 2-3 people (1 per page) outside your family that you have the most difficult or painful interactions with, and the top 2-3 people (1 per page) inside your family that you have the most difficult or painful interactions with.  Now remember, for some of us, there may be some really extreme examples of abuse on our list, while others may just have some personality differences that strain the relationship.  This is an exercise to create healthy boundaries for unhealthy relationships.

Now take each individual name and ask the following questions and write out your answers.

Does this person encourage me?
Does this person treat me with respect?
Does this person love me?
Does this person bring undue stress to my life?
Does this person have unrealistic expectations of me?
Is this person mostly negative?
Is this person honest with me?
Is this person way too self-centered?
Does this person have my back?
Does this person make me feel good when I’m around them?

You can also ask yourself the same types of questions, but flipped, like this:

Does this person discourage me?
Does this person disrespect me?
Does this person, through their actions and words, not show me love?
Does this person stress me out?
Does this person expect too much from me?
Does this person make you lose your positive outlook?
Is this person dishonest with me?
Does this person think the world revolves around them?
Does this person throw me under the bus?
Does this person make me feel bad, or hurt me?

The key here is not to lie to yourself or make excuses in this exercise.  Keep it black and white for now.  Just answer the questions as honestly as you can.

Now, it’s time to take a look at your list and make some healthy decisions.  You may want to let it sit for a day or two, pray about it, or talk to someone you trust for input.  The people you’ve identified probably fall in one of the following categories:  Excessively dramatic.  Abusive.  Controlling.  Chronically negative.  Narcissistic/self-serving.  Now it’s up to you to decide what type of boundary is best suited for each relationship.  Following are six steps to help you through the process.

Six steps to creating healthy boundaries:

NOTE:  For illustrative purposes, we’ll use an example of a toxic family member–let’s call her Aunt Jan–living close by, who expects too much of you and is extremely disrespectful.  You currently do a bunch of weekly errands for her, stop by her house 2-3 times per week, and take her to all her doctor appointments.  Aunt Jan is in her 70s and entirely able.

  1.  Identify and acknowledge the toxic relationships in your life.Aunt Jan scored 8 out of 10 on the list above.  Not a person you should be spending a great deal of time with!  Just acknowledging the problem and deciding to do something about it, is a huge step in the right direction.
  2. Determine a personal boundary plan for each relationship, keeping in mind the importance of your emotional and physical well-being. You are the only family member living near Aunt Jan, so, although you’re tempted to write her off altogether, you determine instead that you will limit your interactions to one visit every three to four weeks, and no errand running or doctor office shuttling (you will supply her with a resource list of people/organizations that can help on a volunteer basis or for a fee).
  3. Set your plan in motion. Because Aunt Jan is somewhat of a bully, you may decide to tell her about the new plan via the telephone, and follow up with dropping the resource list in the mail.  Face to face interactions can get heated, and you’re going to want the transition to be as smooth as possible.  You should plan for kickback from Aunt Jan, but stick to your guns.  Although you don’t owe her a reason for the boundaries you are setting, you may want to have a reason ready.  One way is to let her know that you have over-committed yourself and need to make some changes in your schedule.  I suggest you write it all out and have the paper with you, so you stick to the plan and are not pulled in another direction.
  4. Ask for support, if needed. Toxic people make boundary setting tough, so don’t go at it alone.  Enlist support from a friend, family member, counselor, pastor, or, in extreme cases, a police officer.  Just venting to or bouncing ideas off a friend can be all you need to stay strong and sane.  I think I’d even plan on taking someone along with me on my monthly visits to Aunt Jan.  She may be on her best behavior when in the company of others.
  5. Remember why you made the decision to end the relationship or establish boundaries in the first place.With time, you might forget how bad the relationship was and repeat your mistakes.  Don’t let guilt wear you down either.
  6. Focus on the positive influencers.  Remember the quote by Stephen Covey at the beginning of this article?  “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”  Surround yourself and enjoy the positive influencers in your life.  Don’t let the toxicity of one relationship stain another.

Friends, setting boundaries with toxic people will not be an easy process.  It may be uncomfortable, awkward, and even scary, but just remember, you deserve to have an abundance of happy, healthy relationships.

Jill xx

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The Art of Listening Well

Have you ever been talking to someone and their eyes either glaze over or start scanning the room?  They’re clearly not listening, and you’re thinking, “Hey! Excuuuuuse me, but am I boring you to death over here?!”  This happened to me at a conference, and instead of just ending the conversation with this rude person and moving on, I began to speak faster and rattle.  This un-engaged listener was causing ME to feel uncomfortable!

The lack of listening skills has declined in our fast paced digital world, and I expect will only get worse.

It’s not unusual to see people in conversation, and the minute a text or other notification on their phone comes in, their attention is divided–if not completely stolen away–as they check their device.  I’ve been guilty of this and I bet you have, too.  Remember the days, when you had to wait to get home and check the cassette tape on your answering machine for a message from someone??

Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask for someone’s undivided attention when you’re talking with them (especially if it’s just for a few minutes).

Or is it?

Researchers and authors Bob Sullivan and Hugh Thompson tell us that “The human brain has the capacity to digest as much as 400 words per minute of information. But even a speaker from New York City talks at around 125 words per minute. That means three-quarters of your brain could very well be doing something else while someone is speaking to you.”

This leaves a lot of room for us, as listeners, to be thinking about other stuff, and not being the good listeners our mama’s taught us to be.

Sometimes, all it takes is a reminder (this post, or a bad experience of not being listened to well) and an intention to change to be better at something.  So, today, let’s all try to be better listeners.  While we’re at it, can we also agree to teach the children in our lives how to be good listeners, too?

Following are 5 tips to master the art of listening well: 

  1. Listen to learn.  This is especially true for friends and family.  You can learn a lot about people’s likes and dislikes, their dreams and aspirations, their fears and heartaches when you listen with an intention to learn more about them.  I have a friend — you know who you are, Linda — who is the best at this.  The details she remembers about her friends and family is uncanny.  I could mention three years ago how I love macadamia nuts with cinnamon glaze, because it reminded me of a cinnamon-colored pony I had when I was young, and one day she’ll show up on my doorstep with a box of nuts and a sweet and thoughtful note with a picture that looks exactly like my pony from years gone by!!!  People that listen and remember special things like this make you feel so “listened to”!  (NOTE: for those that, like me, don’t have the capacity to remember these things like my friend Linda does, maybe we should keep track of fun family and friend details in a notebook).
  2. Ask questions.  Asking questions is an excellent feeder and developer for good conversation.  Using this technique will help you to stay engaged and learn more about the person you’re talking with: both good listening skills.
  3. Don’t listen with an ulterior motive.  Don’t be the “listener” who is fidgeting and silently mouthing words that they want to say the instant they get the chance.  This type of person is only thinking about themselves and are not listening at all.  Now, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t engage with people in life and business that you’d like to talk to because you could benefit from their knowledge, resources, or connections somehow.  Just don’t enter conversations only to give your two cents or be a selfish taker.
  4. Listen with your heart.  Someone may say something to you, that if you’re not listening well, may slip by.  There’s a chance that what slipped by was very important, just not super obvious to the casual listener.  Maybe it’s a friend who is suffering from depression and is “asking for help”, or someone who needs a safe place to talk about something difficult they’re going through in their marriage, with their kids, or at work.  When you open your heart’s ears, you’d be surprised all that’s being said.
  5. Follow the Golden Rule of listening.  Last, but not least, remember to follow the Golden Rule of listening: “Listen to those as you would have those listen unto you.”

Friends, you know how it feels to be properly listened to, so here’s to more of that and more of you being a good listener to others.

Have an awesome day!

Jill xx

P.S. I’d love it if you’d share this post with your friends, family, and co-workers.

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My New Website!

You may or may not have noticed, but my blog went dark for the last couple weeks.

And, unless you’re a subscriber to my blog (they all got the inside scoop about my site being down via email), you may have thought I was taken by aliens.  Wait!  Did you alert the authorities that I was missing??  You should probably call them and let them know I’m OK.  Well, I wasn’t really missing, but, come to think of it, I did notice that no one sent help for me!!  People, have we not developed a little bit of a love relationship over the years?!

I know….you have a life.  Good for you!  Just know that I missed, virtually, hanging out with you here the last few Saturdays.

So, my site was down for a few weeks, not because of the aliens, but because it was being beautified!  Yes, my blog website had a well-deserved makeover.

Why a new site?  Well, I did it for YOU, and I did it for ME.  Here are my 4 main reasons:

  1. I wanted my site to look better and allow a better user experience for my current readers and the readers to come.
  2. I will be writing (guest posting) for other blogs and publications in the future and needed to “up my game” a bit.
  3. I wanted my site to highlight my mentoring services.  I have mentored women for years and have decided to use my blog as a place where people who might benefit from my services can find me and can find useful content that will help them. Details here.
  4. In girl terms, I just felt like my blog deserved a new hairdo and nice swingy sundress (yes, I’m aware that last part sounds like it could be a Taylor Swift song!).  I’ve been writing here since 2014 and this was a treat to myself for my hard work.  Don’t let those two little words “hard work” mislead you… I love all that I get to do on and through my blog!
    A big thank you to Liz, in Austin, TX, who worked her magic to beautify my site!

So…take a look around, make yourself at home, check back often (especially in the “Resources” section–I’m often asked what books I’m reading, so I’ve begun to start a list for you with a smidge of insight on each one from me.)

We’ll be back to our regular scheduled broadcast next Saturday.

IMPORTANT NOTE for new and current subscribers:  Some people have told me that they’d subscribed, but weren’t getting my blogs via email on Saturday morning.  Well, lo and behold, the email went in their SPAM folder!  Ugh!  So please, if you’ve already subscribed, go look in your Spam folder and mark my emails as non-spam or drag them into your primary inbox.  You can also hit “reply” to one of those emails and shoot me an email and that will let your computer know that we’re friends.

If you’re not already a subscriber to my blog, get on that!!  You’ll get my Saturday posts emailed directly to your inbox + you’ll be the first to hear insider scoops, like alien abductions and the like.

Looking forward to seeing you next Saturday, right here!

Cheers!  Jill xx

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29 Ways to Love Yourself

Remember the song, 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover?  In this week’s post, I’m sharing 29 ways to love yourself.  Sounds a little more upbeat, don’t ya think?

Why 29?

Because I thought we should celebrate the fact that it’s a leap year — a year that only comes along once every four years, and includes an extra day.  That extra day is February 29.  Crazy cool fact: Both my sister-in-law and her first daughter were born on leap year…there’s only a 1 in 2-million chance of that happening!  I think there’s at least a 4 in 2-million chance of seeing a unicorn!

Since February is a month symbolizing and celebrating love, I thought we’d look inward and focus on ways to practice self-love.

Now, when I suggest we turn inward and focus on self-love, that’s a good thing and shouldn’t be confused with being self-centered or narcissistic.  Self-love is critical to maintaining a healthy, happy, and balanced life.  When we love ourselves well, we are more loveable to others too, so you can’t go wrong.

Loving yourself shouldn’t be complicated, but it can take intention and effort.  I’ve listed out 29 ways to show love to yourself. These suggestions are ones that I, personally, use or that may be beneficial to you.  Of course, there may be things that would better show love to yourself that aren’t on this list–focus on what will serve you best.

Some of the ideas below are easier and take less time than others–great!  Others will take some reflection, some soul-searching, and maybe some accountability or support in other ways.

Here’s how I suggest you use the list:

1.  Either print this post or get a notebook out to write down the items in step #3.

2.  Read through the list and place a check-mark next to the areas where you feel like you’re already showing yourself love in those ways.  Good job on those, by the way!

3.   Now go back through the list and circle 1-3 of the actions you’ll commit to working on throughout the next month.

4.  At the end of the month, review the 1-3 actions you’ve been working on and, if you’ve noticed great improvement, place a check-mark next to the item.  If you haven’t noticed great improvement, continue working on your love goal.

29 Ways to Love on Yourself 

  1. Surround yourself with people that lift you, inspire you, and make you feel good.
  2. Get rid of toxic people in your life.
  3. Speak kindly to yourself.  Don’t say things to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone you respected or loved.
  4. Laugh often.  Laughter is salve for the soul.
  5. Take walks, on a regular basis, with no other goal but to notice the beauty around you.
  6. Sleep at least 7 hours every night.  The National Sleep Foundation recommends 7+ hours/night for adults.
  7. Exercise.  30-minutes per day is ideal.
  8. Stretch your body.  There’s a reason cats seem so content…they stretch a lot. Click here for 10 simple stretches to try today.
  9. Eat well.  Maybe this just means to add a salad to your diet every day.  Maybe it means consuming less sugar.  Maybe it means drink more milk.  Check out this book, Eat Right 4 Your Type, that’ll help you to choose foods that agree with you based on your blood type.
  10. Don’t compare yourself to others.  Focus on, and celebrate, your own special gifts and abilities.
  11. Read books that you enjoy or make you feel good.
  12. Say “no” more often.  Saying no to someone or something is not bad.  Saying no leaves you open to really good yes’s.
  13. Write a letter to God and pour your heart out.
  14. Spend five minutes writing down what your perfect day would look like.  Now, plan to make it happen.
  15. Skip the doughnut…start your day with a healthy, delicious green smoothie.  Try this one with only four ingredients.
  16. Write in a gratitude journal daily.  I have a bunch of journaling ideas here.
  17. Take a 24-hour social media break.  Better yet, take a week or a month away from all the screens that suck up time.
  18. Do more of what you love.  If you love to play cards, but rarely play, schedule a weekly or monthly card night.
  19. Learn something that you’ve always wanted to.  Take a class, teach yourself, or learn online.  Just Google, “How to (put a word(s) for whatever it is you want to learn here)” and see what strikes your fancy.
  20. Write a list of things other people say you do well, or they like about you.  Keep that list handy for when you need encouragement.
  21. Let go of a grudge you’ve held for far too long.  Releasing the grudge = your freedom and peace.
  22. Cut yourself some slack.  Have you noticed, we can be our own worst critic?  Just treat yourself fairly.
  23. Being an adult can be exhausting, so spend more time acting like a kid. Need some ideas on how? I wrote about it here.
  24. Accept who you are.  Change what you can and want to, and accept the rest.
  25. Go on a personal retreat where you will come away rested, renewed, re-energized, inspired, and clear on “stuff”.
  26. Be a blessing to someone else.  Funny thing is, you will be blessed yourself by this action.
  27. Keep a happiness jar (aka: blessing box & gratitude jar).  Just write down things you are thankful for, that make you happy or make you laugh, etc. on a little piece of paper and store them in a jar.  Pull them out and read when you need some encouragement.  Here’s a cute DIY Happiness Jar with step-by-step instructions.
  28. Invest in yourself.  This ties in to some of the earlier items on the list like taking a class, going on a retreat, etc.  It may be that you finally buy that Kitchen Aide mixer you’ve always dreamed of to start your cupcake business.  Maybe you’ve wanted to attend a conference, spend time learning something new, or buy a good camera to develop your photography hobby.
  29. Believe in yourself.  This will come more naturally the more you love yourself, but if you’re not there yet, try and be your own cheerleader.  If you’ve ever been an encouragement to someone else, then remember what that was like and do the same for yourself…you deserve it.

Here’s to loving ourselves and others!

Love,

Jill xx

 

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Are You Experiencing Decision Fatigue?

Who’s with me?

You love Chinese food, but the 72 page menu is a bit overwhelming.

The seemingly simple task of grabbing a box of cereal at the grocery store, turns into a 12 minute scavenger hunt, amid the 217 different types of cereal to choose from.

You stand at your closet every morning feeling inadequate.  You look at the sea of clothes and every piece suddenly has a complexity to it that you can’t seem to figure out.  Does that skirt I’ve had since 9th grade go with that modern day shirt?  Do stripes and plaid go together or is that just in home decor??

Here’s the deal…

We live in a society with many, many choices, and yes, we are totally blessed.  Most of us can afford to eat out from time to time.  Many of us actually go clothes shopping for fun (you know I don’t fall in this category!).

However, when the process of decision-making becomes overwhelming, inefficient, stressful, time consuming, or we’re just making bad choices, we’ve reached a point of decision fatigue.

Yes, there’s a term for it!

Decision fatigue is when we make worse decisions, or find it hard to make a decision at all, when we have, or have had, lots of decisions to make.

Here’s the question: How do we overcome decision fatigue?

My answer: We create a life with fewer decisions.

Of course, we can’t get rid of all decisions, but there are clear and very attainable choices we can make to facilitate a decision fatigue-less life.  To bring it home, let’s address the three areas of decision fatigue I mentioned earlier in this post regarding eating out, grocery shopping, and dressing yourself each day.

How to deal with restaurant menu selection fatigue:

  1. Just ask what the most popular item is and order that.  Period.  Whether you like it or not, record it.  (See step 3 below.)
  2. Find a favorite meal and order it every single time.  I’ve been ordering #20 at my favorite Mexican restaurant (shout out to Cocula’s!) for nearly five years and love every bite!  If someone judges you for your lack of experimentation, who cares!  Ignore them and enjoy your delicious meal.
  3. Keep a list of things you like at different restaurants in your phone or in a notebook you can keep with you.  Whip that baby out at order time and instead of spending 20 minutes reviewing the menu, enjoy your free time in the company of your dining partners.

How to deal with grocery store selection overwhelm:

  1. Shop where there aren’t so many options.
    Supermarket News (What?? You don’t read this publication??) published findings that indicate that “63% of consumers are willing to pay more for simpler experiences, and 69% are inclined to recommend a brand because it’s simple.”  Guess who was voted the world’s simplest brand for the 3rd year in a row?  Aldi!  My Aldi only has six aisles.  I heard a few people raving about Aldi a few years ago, went, and came away unimpressed and suspicious of everything.  I thought everything was either outdated or off-brand which equaled GROSS!  Oh, how my heart has changed!  After some serious prompting from friends who love and adore Aldi, I tried it again last year, with a new and improved attitude, and I love it!  There’s a blogger named Ruth who compiled a list of 15 things to buy at Aldi and 5 things to avoid, click here to check out her helpful list.  P.S. Publix grocery store, also received a high ranking in the simplicity department.  Publix is big, with way more aisles than Aldi has, but I do like it, too.
  2. Be prepared when you enter a grocery store.
    The two rules for grocery store shopping are: 1. Don’t enter a grocery store without a grocery list, and  2.  Stick to the outside aisles (this is where the healthier items are).  The key is to stick to your list and keep your eyes off the “shiny objects” that the marketers use to draw you in to the latest and greatest queso dip!   My friend Nancy has a printable grocery list she created in Excel that includes all the typical items she shops for by store and by aisle.  This helps to keep you organized, on track, and limits those, “Oh, man! I forgot the peanut butter!!” moments in the car ride home.   

How to deal with the daily clothing selection panic zone:

  1. Lay your clothes out the night before or even a week in advance.  I know this is the right thing to do, but I struggle with taking my own advice.  When I do, I’m a much happier person and probably look more put together, too.
  2. Wear the same thing every day.  (I am seriously contemplating this option.)
    I know this may sound like a stretch, but Mark Zuckerberg does it and he’s reasonably smart, right?  Here’s a picture from his closet that he posted on his Facebook page earlier this week:
    IMG_9711
    You may be saying, “Well, he’s a guy!  Guys can get away with wearing the same outfit every day…Hold on!  Ladies, here’s our role model!  Her name is Matilda Kahl and she’s the art director for a leading creative agency in NYC.  She’s got major street cred, awesome fashion sense, and made a decision to cut down on the stress she experienced with decision fatigue related to clothing choices.  She decided to wear the same outfit to work every day.  This is HUGE!  I could pull this off without much notice, but she’s the art director for a NYC agency!!  Here’s the cute outfit she landed on…simple and elegant:

    FRIDAY OUTFIT: Matilda Kahl had an epiphany after a particularly stressful morning trying to get to a meeting on time. It started out the way mornings do for many office dwellers picking out what to wear; a time-consuming process of mixing and matching pieces in the closet and tossing aside what doesn’t feel right. When she finally reached the office at Saatchi & Saatchi, an advertising firm in New York City, “I realized I was not only late, but with my sweater inside out. Kahl, an art director for the firm, found an elegant solution that would simplify her life. She chose a look she could wear every day: a white silk shirt with a diagonal button line from Zara — 15 of them, in fact — and a few pairs of black pants. Photo credit goes to Rasmus Keger.

    Photo credit: Rasmus Keger.

The moral of the story: Make life more simple, so you’re able to enjoy the life you have.

Question for you?  Do you struggle with decision fatigue?  What have you, or will you, cut down on to limit the fatigue?

As always, I appreciate you spending time with me here today, and appreciate your insight and thoughts, should you choose to share them.

Have an awesome day!

Jill xx

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Here’s How You Can Change The World

Having just commemorated Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I’ve reflected on the good Dr. King did in his lifetime and the example and legacy he left us with.  As the “holiday” passes by, I don’t want us to miss and to truly believe how the heart and actions of one person can change the world.

While some of us are destined to create monumental change in the world like Dr. King, others of us–no less important–have the opportunity to create change in smaller ways in our corner of the world.

Read this part slowly: Every single one of us (that’s you!) has the potential to make a significant impact in the world.  Some of you reading this may not believe you can make a difference.  You may think that in order to make a difference you need to have more money, more time, a different job, know more people, live somewhere else.  Not true.

As with Dr. King’s example, great impact happens when we take efforts to protect someone or something.

Dr. King took a stand to protect the rights and freedoms of others…he took intentional steps and created a movement of change.

You and I have the ability to create change, too.  One way is to take steps to protect others.

We can begin by thinking about and responding to Dr. King’s statement and question here: “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is: “What are you doing for others?”

Who or what needs protecting in your corner of the world?  

  • Your family…your children, your spouse–your marriage.
  • Your friends.
  • Your community.
  • The homeless.
  • The abused.
  • The nation.
  • Your students.
  • Your neighbors.
  • The young.
  • The elderly.
  • The earth.

How can these people and these things be protected?

By taking intentional steps to:

  • Act in love.
  • Be respectful.
  • Be diligent.
  • Be kind.
  • Set healthy boundaries.
  • Be present.
  • Learn more.
  • Act with compassion.
  • Find out how you can help someone.
  • Remind someone of their worth.
  • Be a shoulder to cry on.
  • Do something that needs to be done that no one else wants to do.
  • Have eyes of awareness and hands of action.
  • Educate others.
  • Take a stand.

Did you notice that the list includes things each and every one of us can do?  Today!  No one needs to wait on getting their doctorate degree, or to obtain a high-level executive job, or to accumulate gobs of money.

What action will you take today?  Will you start with your family, your neighborhood, your community, your place of work, the world at large?

Thank you, in advance, for your part in making this world a beautiful place.

Jill xx

Share the love by sharing this post with your friends, family, and co-workers. Thank you!

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Do You Need Some Rest?

A couple weeks ago I wrote about choosing a single word for the year and, since then, many people have shared their words with me.

One woman chose a word that, although you and I may not have selected the same word for ourselves, I think is worth mentioning as an intentional practice we would ALL do well to incorporate into our busy schedules.

Her word for the year was:

Rest.

Just saying the word gives me hope.  I even love the way the word looks!  Do you see how the “R” looks to be reclining?  It’s like the word is beckoning us in.  And if you draw out the pronunciation of the word, it’s almost meditative.  Try it… “Rrressssst”.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Rest.

Ahhh, that exercise already relaxed me some, but friends, we need more….rest.

As we kick off a new year, many of us are reviewing the events of last year and setting goals for the year to come, but unless you actually chose “rest” as your word for the year, you may have forgotten to be intentional with caring for yourself through rest. When we think of self-care, working out and eating right immediately come to mind.  Yes, these are wonderful ways to care for ourselves, but the idea of just “resting” is often overlooked.

Why?

Because in our fast-paced, multi-tasking, over-scheduled world, it’s not always easy to rest.

It can feel indulgent.  (It shouldn’t.)

Allowing yourself to rest can make you feel guilty.  (It shouldn’t.)

It seems like a luxury.  (It’s not…it’s a necessity.)

Rest should be part of your non-negotiable self-care routine.

In case you need a good reason or an argument backed with important facts in order to rest, here are three:

  1.  Rest rejuvenates your mind, body, and soul.
  2. Rest regulates your mood.
  3. Rest improves learning and memory function.

So, if you aren’t into rejuvenating your mind, body, and soul, don’t care if your mood is like a yo-yo, and don’t care much about your learning and memory function, go ahead and carry on as-is.

If you do care about taking care of yourself, and are willing to give yourself permission to enjoy some proper rest, then let’s see what you can do today, to make rest a reality in your life.

So….will you give yourself permission?

If you say yes, then go grab your calendar.

For real…get your calendar out.

Depending on your circumstances, you may have to schedule short, frequent times of rest…that is just great!  Maybe you’re at a time in your life, where you can schedule days or even a week for rest…that’s awesome too!

Ok, now, be realistic, but don’t be stingy with the time you’re going to devote to your rest.

Following are some scheduling suggestions:

Pick one or two of the following and schedule them out in your calendar for the next year.  I think you should use a pen.  There’s something honoring about scheduling self-care in with pen!

  • One hour per day.
  • One hour every two weeks.
  • One half to an entire day every 30 days.
  • One half to an entire day every 60 days.
  • One day per quarter (4x/yr).
  • One week every six months.
  • One week every year.
  • One month every year.  (Hey, we can dream, right?  Michael Hyatt takes a month long sabbatical every year.)

Will you do this?

It’s important.

If it still feels indulgent or is bringing up feelings of guilt, shut that voice out.

You deserve rest.

As you plan for your time and as the time approaches, be sure to make the most of your time–take your rest in a place of peace and quiet, with no distractions or interruptions.

I’m gonna be checking back with you later in the year.  I hope you will have a beautiful testimony to share.

With much love,

Jill xx

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