How Accountability Will Save You From Overwhelm

I asked a question in a reader survey last week (thank you to those of you who filled it out!) and the top two responses as to what they struggled with and/or kept them up at night most were stress and feeling overwhelmed.

The reason for my survey was to give me direction on what my readers would find most helpful in my future posts.  It would seem sensible for me to take the information from my survey (clear direction provided by my readers) and write about feeling overwhelmed or stress, right?

Easy, if I wasn’t swirling down a drain of overwhelm myself!

Because of the overwhelm I was feeling I had trouble focusing and was experiencing major self-doubt.  I didn’t even think I would be able to get my blog done this week–not due to a lack of time–but because I was paralyzed by fear and doubt.  In my state of overwhelm I was questioning my ability to write and whether I had a place to provide insight on a subject I struggle with myself.  Not the best ingredients for writing encouraging and helpful content on the subject of overwhelm!

If you’re reading this, you know that I’ve figured out a way to deal with this fear and doubt.  I tackled it!  If I made that sound easy, don’t let me fool you.  The truth is, I needed help.

My help came through accountability.

Over the years, when I’ve been in a state of overwhelm, I’ve found it extremely beneficial to have an accountability partner.  Someone to help keep you focused on a goal.  Whether it be someone who will “shame” you if you don’t show up at the gym, or someone to hold you accountable to finish that sweater you’ve been knitting for the last decade, having someone else hold you accountable is super powerful.

It’s important to remember that ultimately you’re still accountable for your own actions, but your “partner” will be there to provide a gentle nudge or reminder when you’re straying off track or to offer a word of encouragement for you to keep up the good work.

Following are six types of accountability partners/teams that I’ve at some point been part of over the years.  Pick one that works for you and watch how your feelings of overwhelm will disappear.

Friend – Friends can be the best accountability partners.  They are free and they have your best interest at heart.  I have a couple of friends who I walk with regularly.  I’m not likely to cancel on a pre-arranged time to walk with a friend.  On the other hand, if I plan on walking after work by myself, I find it easier to agree with myself on how exhausted I am after a long day and how it will be fine to wait and take that walk another day.  We can be our own worst enemies!

Spouse – My husband is the best at talking through things and helping me to see fresh perspectives when I’m overwhelmed.  The problem with family is that sometimes they can give the best advice ever, but you may be more likely to take the advice of someone that you are not as closely tied to.  I know this is crazy, but it’s true.  There are numerous “I told you so” opportunities for my husband to use on me, but being the good man that he is, he doesn’t play that card.  Thank you sweetie!

Mentor/Coach – Whether you pay to work with a mentor or a coach or you find someone who will provide this service at no cost, this relationship can turn your life around.  I have been on both sides here.  I worked with a life-coach several years ago to help me work on career direction.  Her services were extremely helpful and because I had “homework” due every week, it kept me very focused on working toward my goals.

On the flip side, I have provided mentorship through several organizations over the last several years, and the results, when the mentee is willing to work, are extraordinary.

Mastermind Group – This is a peer-to-peer mentorship group.  Being part of one of these groups helped deliver me from my state of overwhelm this last week.  I recently began meeting with an awesome group of business people every week who hold each other accountable for projects we are working on.  This type of group is a tremendous resource for brainstorming and keeping each other on track with our goals.  Here’s a great article from Forbes on reasons to join a Mastermind group.

Study Group – Whether you’re a student trying to get through Calculus or you’re in a Bible study, a study group is yet another great way to help you to keep accountable to your assignments and to learn from others.  I wouldn’t have made it through Calculus in college had it not been for a girl name Michelle Storm.  I haven’t talked to her in over 20 years.  If you’re reading this Michelle, thank you!!

Support Groups – There are groups to help people who are struggling with and/or recovering from most anything: drug and alcohol, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, sexual addiction, disease, abuse, anger management, etc.  Google or call 211 to find a support group in your area.

Here’s my suggestion for you today: Think about where you are most overwhelmed or feeling out of control.  Now take a look at my list above and see where you might benefit from an accountability partner or support group.  Once you’ve decided, make it a point to get something started within a day or two.  Trust me on this!  When in a state of overwhelm it’s easy to put things off, which in turn, adds to our level of overwhelm.

Now, if you’re feeling so overwhelmed right now, that you’re not able to narrow down the decision on a person or group to get started with, then just pick one thing in your life to work on.  Don’t fret over picking the right thing, just pick one thing.  You may be struggling with depression and asking a friend to get outside and walk with you every morning might be the easiest thing to start with now.

Depending on your situation, you may feel embarrassed to ask for help – don’t.  Every single person has something they are struggling with and could use some help.  There is no way to grow if we don’t stretch ourselves and step outside our comfort zones from time to time.

If you care to share, I’d love to hear what you are going to get started with.  When you answer in the comment section below you have already made progress, as your answer or commitment is a form of accountability.

You all, whether you realize it or not, are my accountability partners in writing this blog.  Thank you for reading and for the encouragement you have given me through your comments and feedback.  I appreciate you!

Have a great day!

Jill xx