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Where is The Love?

Have you ever tried to say or do something and it feels like you have a golf ball stuck in your throat?  This is how I’ve felt as I’ve attempted to work through my feelings in order to write this post this week.

I’ve been thinking about love.  Brotherly love.

I’ve been thinking about heartache, pain and suffering.  The kind that people all over the world are experiencing.

I’ve been thinking about how great it is that the internet offers a place for people to share thoughts and ideas—support, understanding, oneness…love.

And then I think about how awful it is that the internet offers a place for people to share thoughts and ideas—ugliness, self-righteousness, hostility…hate.

Part of the golf ball stuck in my throat feeling is that as an optimist, I’m seeing things that are darkening the lens that I see and live my life through.

It came to me this morning that this darkness that has cast a shadow over our world provides us an opportunity to see the contrast.  To see where the cracks are.  To see where the voids are.  To see the places where we can step in and make a difference.  Through love.

The good news is that we’re all capable of being a loving force in this world.  No doctorate degree needed.

A simple act of love can change things.  Love can heal…can change hearts…can bind us together.  Love is a force that is more powerful than hate.

Not sure how to begin or where to start?  Recently I wrote about just doing the next thing when you’re stuck or overwhelmed–that same concept works here.  Don’t overthink it–just go and love on someone.  Be nice to the person who is painfully slow in front of you at the grocery store.  Be kind to your significant other (yes, some of us just need to start at home).  Go and hang out with someone that’s different than you and love them by listening with an ear for understanding (Note: listening with an ear for understanding doesn’t mean you will agree, it just means you hear them).  Tell someone that you appreciate them and why.  Find out where you can spread love in your community through volunteerism.  Perform a random act of kindness in the name of love.

There are many small ways to begin, and these small ways, practiced on a consistent basis, will change the world, one act at a time.

We just need to act.

Starting today.

With love,

Jill xx

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It’s Scary What a Smile Can Hide

“It’s scary what a smile can hide.”

I saw this on a young woman’s Facebook page recently. I don’t know her, but I clicked over to see if there was an explanation. Nothing. No comments explaining why she wrote that, no follow up comments, or even questions from friends. Just, “It’s scary what a smile can hide.”

Reading that made my heart sink.

How many people do you and I “engage” with every day that are smiling outwardly, but on the inside it’s a different story?

Pain. Anger. Loss of hope. Resentment. Depression. Sadness. Hate. Abandonment.

All these emotions neatly tucked away behind a smile that doesn’t mirror the heart.

You’ve been there, right?

I’ve been there. Someone asks how my day is and I “cheerfully” reply with a heavy heart and stinging eyes, “Doing good! How about you?”

The response is not meant to be phony or misleading. It’s meant to be a method of preservation, a means of maintaining your privacy, and even consideration for others who don’t need to know every detail of our lives.

In general, we as a society, are taught to hide our emotions, aren’t we? Push through. Toughen up.

The thing is, many of us have loved ones and trusted friends who we can trust (most of) our “stuff” with.

Some don’t.

Where does that leave those who are never “seen” or “heard”?

It leaves them with statements like this: “It’s scary what a smile can hide.”

We are not put on this earth to live self-serving lives focused on indulging our wants and whims.

We are meant for greater things. To love one another. Even those we don’t know.

Remember to: Pay attention to the people who are right in front of you. Pay attention to the people that are important to you. Pay attention to those who have been forgotten or discarded.

“Love your neighbor as yourself.” – Jesus

Here are some deliberate steps you can take to connect with others:

• Acknowledge the person serving you at a restaurant in a very specific way. Compliment them on something they do very well or ask them about what’s going on in their life.
• Tell your child’s teacher that you appreciate their gifts and their sacrifice for your child.
• Say hello to the raggedy-looking person on the street. Ask how their day is and be prepared to really hear their response.
• Sincerely thank the bagger at the grocery store. I’m talking–looking him/her in the eyes and giving thanks.
• Spend some quality time with a friend that has seemed a bit “off” lately.
• Give a child’s voice the respect it is due. Don’t downplay what comes from the mouths of babes.

Are you hiding something behind your smile? I encourage you to reach out to someone you can trust—a family member, a friend, a counselor, or a pastor.

As always, I appreciate your input. Please leave your comments below.

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Jill xx

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