We live in a day in which it’s not uncommon to talk on our cell phones as we walk out to get our mail, avoiding eye contact with the lady walking her dog.  A day in which our schedules are so packed we don’t allow for time to sit on our front porches and visit with our neighbors.  A day in which, if asked, we might not know our next door neighbor’s name.

I believe that, now more than ever, it’s important that we are intentional in building and strengthening the relationships with our neighbors.  A strong community benefits us, the individual, the community (our neighbors), and ultimately, society as a whole.

So, what’s the key to being a good neighbor?

I live in an AWESOME neighborhood!  If there were a most congenial and fun neighborhood award, our neighborhood would most likely win it.

Although our neighborhood isn’t perfect, I’ve learned some valuable lessons from my neighbors, a whole cast of characters, on the importance of being neighborly and what that looks like.

The following suggestions may seem obvious, but sometimes the most obvious are the most overlooked.

Trade contact info.  If you don’t have your neighbors’ phone number and email address, then make it a point to trade that information with one another.  Whether you are out of town and need to call on a favor, or you need to let your neighbor know that their dog has busted out of their fence, it’s important to be able to keep in touch.

Our neighborhood has a Google Group email list that is utilized to share news regarding unruly bears, car break-ins, annual picnic or cookie exchange information, etc.  Click here to find out how to set up one for your neighborhood.

Be direct in your hopes and expectations.  My husband and I have an agreement with our neighbors that if our dogs are barking incessantly when we’re not home, that they’ll give us a call so we can remedy the situation.  Maybe your neighbor is gifted in drum playing at 2 a.m. and it’s keeping you up.  Find a way to initiate a friendly conversation to see if there is a way for them to be able to practice and for you to get some sleep.

Be nice.  You may not be best friends with all your neighbors, you may not even like them all.  That’s ok, just smile, say hello or wave when your neighbors pass by.

Show support in good times and bad.  Support comes in all shapes and sizes.  Whether it be through the emotional support through the loss of loved ones, the sharing of wisdom with someone going through financial difficulties, monetarily supporting the neighborhood girl scout’s endeavors, or celebrating the success of a neighbor’s business venture, there are a variety of ways to build and strengthen your community bonds.

Love the unlovable.  Do you have a curmudgeon in your neighborhood?  You know, the one that grumbles and frowns every time you see them.  They’ve probably even called the city on you for leaving your garbage can out for more than one day.

Oftentimes, these type of people are dealing with pain or loneliness that manifests itself into ugly behavior.  One of Jesus’ greatest commandments was to “love our neighbors as ourselves.”  LOVE is a powerful thing.  Try this: next time they grumble, show them love.  Ask them to stop by for a cup of coffee or ask them if they would like to join your bookclub.  If you can figure out a way to cut through their harsh exterior, you will probably find a scarred heart that could use some love balm.

If you haven’t seen the movie St. Vincent, with Bill Murray and Melissa McCarthy, go see it.  It’s great!  It’s about a single mom and her son that move next door to a real curmudgeon.  A surprising and beautiful story of love and redemption unfolds.  (Have your hanky handy for this one!)

Take it out back.  Chuck Brodsky wrote a song called Take it Out Back and the chorus goes like this: “Take it out back…and keep the front yard looking good.”  Plain and simple, don’t make your neighbors have to look at your mess each time they pass your house.  Clean it up and take it out back (or in the basement).  The lyrics are metaphorical in nature as well…meaning don’t air out all your dirty laundry for all your neighbors to see.  Be sensitive to what should be kept private—“out back.”

Watch each other’s back.  If you see someone trying to get into your neighbor’s car or heading around the back of their house with a duffel bag, call the police.  This is also a good time to utilize the phone numbers you traded by giving your neighbors a heads up on what’s taking place.  Maybe the guy turns out to be an innocent “duffel bag salesman,” but it’s better to be safe than sorry.  Our neighborhood uses the Google Group email list to alert each other of these type of shenanigans.  You might want to start an official Neighborhood Watch program as well.  Click here for a checklist from the National Crime Prevention Council on how to start a program in your community.

Lend a helping hand.  If you know someone recently had surgery, offer to bring in their newspaper each morning for a few weeks or cook them a meal.  Maybe you notice a single parent who appears to be completely overwhelmed–an offer to watch the kids while he or she enjoys some free time or runs errands untethered may be just what they need to fill their parental energy tank.  When it snows, send your kids out for some fresh air and to shovel your neighbors’ driveways.

Pay special attention to the elderly, especially those widowed or alone.  My 85-year old widowed stepdad was recently found unconscious and unresponsive in his home by his daughter who hadn’t been able to reach him for a couple days.  He is currently in the hospital recovering, but this type of thing happens every day.  When we develop relationships with our neighbors (some who don’t have family in the area), we might be the one who is there to help in a great time of need.  They say it takes a village to raise a child…we could say the same for some of our elders.

As I write this, it is 28 degrees with snow on the ground.  If it is extra cold or hot for extended periods of time, don’t forget to check on your elderly neighbors…they may need you.

Have fun with your neighbors!  Host a game or movie night.  Start a book club.  Organize an annual summer picnic.  Walk your dogs together.  This is your community!  Enjoy one another!

Tell me about your neighborhood.  Do you have tips to share that would help unite and strengthen the bonds of our neighborhoods?  Please share in the comment section below.

Don’t have a strong neighborhood?  This is your chance to turn that around.  Organize a neighborhood meeting and use this post to get ideas for your neighborhood flowing.

Have a great day!

Jill xx

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