Are you feeling like you’re stuck in a rut? Tired of your routine? Feeling useless or even hopeless?  Maybe you’re going through something right now that’s painful, hard, or doesn’t seem fair.

The reality is, at any given point, we’re either going through, have just passed through, or are about to enter into a difficult time.

So often when we’re in the middle of a not-so-great-time in our lives, all we can focus on is getting to the other side.  Of course, overcoming or getting through these less-than-desirable circumstances is a worthy goal, but it’s worth acknowledging that there may be something very important happening during the tough parts of your journey–something that you might be very thankful for later.

All this is easier said than done, but I’d like to encourage you to view your present, past, and future circumstances in a different light.

I present to you The 3 C’s of Circumstance: Connections. Competency. Compassion.

My hope is that you’ll learn to view your current, past, and future circumstances with a new perspective.  A perspective that will shed positive light on a dark time.

Connections.  Shared experiences, good and bad, create a bond like no other.  Friendships can grow and develop deeply during difficult times.  Many of us have a friend that we’d never have met, had our paths not crossed during a difficult time in our lives.  A friend of mine became friends with some of the nurses that treated her while she was undergoing cancer treatment.  Would she have ever wished for a scenario like this to make friends?  Of course not.  But it happened, and I’ve heard her say many times that she wouldn’t change a thing for what she gained during that period–new friendships being just one of the positive outcomes.

I remember sitting on a plane the day after my mom died, and a lady came and sat next to me.  For the next three hours we talked about the death of my mom and the deterioration of her dying father.  I haven’t seen her since that day years ago, but I will always be thankful for the powerful connection we had during those few hours, thousands of feet in the air.  By the way, I’ve always thought she was an angel sent to me that day.

Competency.  At any given point, there are tasks that are set before us that we have the opportunity to learn something new or develop a skill for.  From digging a hole for a fence post, to typing up notes from a meeting, to leading a sales team at your office, to advocating your own healthcare–learning and growing opportunities abound.

The problem many people face, is when they tire of their job, they’re not doing exactly what they think they should be doing with their life, or they’re stuck in a rut in some other area of their life, they allow a negative mindset to take over.  Do you realize the wasted energy we expend when we groan and complain (vocally or to ourselves) over tasks we have to do?

I used to dread washing dishes and vacuuming, so I’d just put those things off.  Guess where that left me?  Procrastination wtih household chores equals a messy house.  Years ago, I remember hearing someone suggest trying to be “present” during mundane tasks such as these.  I took this to heart and worked on developing that “present” mindset.  Friends, I don’t lie when I tell you that I find myself smiling and feeling energized when doing these tasks now!  The skill I built through this experience:  Focusing on the positive and appreciating the fact that I have a rug to vacuum and a dish to clean in hot water.  This mindset change has served me well in all areas of my life and it will for you too.

Compassion.  Unless you’ve been divorced, you don’t know what it’s like to experience divorce.  Unless you’ve been an addict, you don’t know what it’s like to experience withdrawal.  Unless you’ve fought cancer, you don’t know what it’s like to experience all the doctors’ visits, sickness, and the feeling of being alone in your illness.  Unless you’ve raised a child with special needs, you don’t know the extreme emotions, you as a parent, will experience.  Unless you’ve lost a job, you don’t know the fear that sets in.  We could go on and on with the examples, couldn’t we?

Don’t let your experiences disappear in the distance in vain.  Use your experience to be a source of light for someone else.  Don’t underestimate the power of extending an understanding ear to someone going through a tough time–this can be a monumental act of compassion.

I hope you’ll recall the 3 C’s of Circumstance–connection, competency, and compassion–next time you’re in a tough place, or when you find yourself in a position to share or utilize your experiences to help someone else.

Thanks for spending time with me today!  Please share this post with your friends, family and colleagues.

Jill xx