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Your Guide To Everyday Mindfulness

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be present.

You’d think those three words, “basic-human-ability” would make it a no-brainer for us to be able to really be present in the moments that fill our lives, but alas, as with so many good things, it’s just not that easy.  Mindfulness takes work.

That’s why the word “practice” is so often combined with the word “mindfulness.”  Just like anything we want to get better at, we must practice.  You can’t expect to perform a perfect cartwheel without practice, right?  The same goes with mindfulness.  Daily practice will help you to create mindful habits, which will, in turn, create a lifestyle of living in present moments.

I created a guide called, The Practice of Everyday Mindfulness that has lots of normal, everyday events that you can practice at being more mindful. If you’d like to lower your stress, increase focus and clarity, and improve your relationships, I suggest you download it immediately.  : )

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In today’s video I discuss what mindfulness is, how it can make your life better and how you can begin practicing mindfulness today.

I’d like to hear what works for you in your efforts to be more present.  Do you practice mindfulness?  Is there something else that helps you reach this state of awareness?  Have you tried any of the exercises I suggest in today’s video?

As always, I appreciate you spending time with me here today.

Share my blog with a friend, family-member or co-worker that might find this topic interesting and/or helpful.

Here’s to experiencing more mindful moments in our day-to-day lives.

Jill xx

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Do You Need Some Rest?

A couple weeks ago I wrote about choosing a single word for the year and, since then, many people have shared their words with me.

One woman chose a word that, although you and I may not have selected the same word for ourselves, I think is worth mentioning as an intentional practice we would ALL do well to incorporate into our busy schedules.

Her word for the year was:

Rest.

Just saying the word gives me hope.  I even love the way the word looks!  Do you see how the “R” looks to be reclining?  It’s like the word is beckoning us in.  And if you draw out the pronunciation of the word, it’s almost meditative.  Try it… “Rrressssst”.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Rest.

Ahhh, that exercise already relaxed me some, but friends, we need more….rest.

As we kick off a new year, many of us are reviewing the events of last year and setting goals for the year to come, but unless you actually chose “rest” as your word for the year, you may have forgotten to be intentional with caring for yourself through rest. When we think of self-care, working out and eating right immediately come to mind.  Yes, these are wonderful ways to care for ourselves, but the idea of just “resting” is often overlooked.

Why?

Because in our fast-paced, multi-tasking, over-scheduled world, it’s not always easy to rest.

It can feel indulgent.  (It shouldn’t.)

Allowing yourself to rest can make you feel guilty.  (It shouldn’t.)

It seems like a luxury.  (It’s not…it’s a necessity.)

Rest should be part of your non-negotiable self-care routine.

In case you need a good reason or an argument backed with important facts in order to rest, here are three:

  1.  Rest rejuvenates your mind, body, and soul.
  2. Rest regulates your mood.
  3. Rest improves learning and memory function.

So, if you aren’t into rejuvenating your mind, body, and soul, don’t care if your mood is like a yo-yo, and don’t care much about your learning and memory function, go ahead and carry on as-is.

If you do care about taking care of yourself, and are willing to give yourself permission to enjoy some proper rest, then let’s see what you can do today, to make rest a reality in your life.

So….will you give yourself permission?

If you say yes, then go grab your calendar.

For real…get your calendar out.

Depending on your circumstances, you may have to schedule short, frequent times of rest…that is just great!  Maybe you’re at a time in your life, where you can schedule days or even a week for rest…that’s awesome too!

Ok, now, be realistic, but don’t be stingy with the time you’re going to devote to your rest.

Following are some scheduling suggestions:

Pick one or two of the following and schedule them out in your calendar for the next year.  I think you should use a pen.  There’s something honoring about scheduling self-care in with pen!

  • One hour per day.
  • One hour every two weeks.
  • One half to an entire day every 30 days.
  • One half to an entire day every 60 days.
  • One day per quarter (4x/yr).
  • One week every six months.
  • One week every year.
  • One month every year.  (Hey, we can dream, right?  Michael Hyatt takes a month long sabbatical every year.)

Will you do this?

It’s important.

If it still feels indulgent or is bringing up feelings of guilt, shut that voice out.

You deserve rest.

As you plan for your time and as the time approaches, be sure to make the most of your time–take your rest in a place of peace and quiet, with no distractions or interruptions.

I’m gonna be checking back with you later in the year.  I hope you will have a beautiful testimony to share.

With much love,

Jill xx

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Focusing on What’s Important

I’m spending time with family (that I don’t get to see very often) this weekend, so instead of my usual blog post, I want to encourage you to remember where your time is best spent and not to worry about the “should” stuff too much.  Stuff can wait.  Time spent with loved ones is precious and can be fleeting.

Until next week…

Have an awesome day!

Jill xx

 

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Start The 7-Day Life Balance Challenge Today

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I’m super excited to announce my 7-Day Life Balance Challenge!

It’s something I created with the intention of helping people to live more balanced and fulfilling lives.  I see and hear so many people who are completely overwhelmed with their schedules, who are lacking clarity or direction in where they want to go, or who just need to push a “restart” button and get back on track with the life they are meant to live.

The challenge is free, but you do need to make a small investment of time for seven days.  The  information and techniques I share via video during the challenge, and the assignments you will have each day, will require you to set aside 15-30 minutes per day.

Are you in?

It’s free, so that’s one roadblock you don’t need to worry about.  You deserve it, so that’s the 2nd thing you don’t need to second guess.

Just give it a shot.  You won’t be sorry.  You’ll be thanking yourself for taking this seven day journey.  I have a short Welcome Video for the Challenge that describes what you can expect, what you’ll need, and a super awesome tip that is guaranteed to make this seven days totally life changing.

Click here to get started!  Once you register you will be emailed a personal link and password for the challenge.

Already Signed Up?
If you’re already subscribed to The 7-Day Life Balance Challenge, make sure to check your inbox for you personal link and password.

Please share this with your friends, family, and co-workers.  Everyone deserves to lead a balanced and fulfilling life, don’t you think? : )

Have a fantastic day!

Jill xx

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Protected: Day 1 — It’s Time to Dump Your Brain

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Why We Should Be Taking a Vow of Silence

Have you noticed what a noisy world we live in?

When at home, many of us have our televisions on while we scroll through Facebook, stopping to watch all the awesome cat or laughing baby videos, all the while, attempting to be semi-engaged in a conversation with our family members.

When we get in our cars, we turn on the radio or listen to our favorite podcasts.  We fill the empty space in our cars with noise.

When we walk the aisles at our grocery store, ads or music (subliminally sending us messages to buy more) are streaming from above.

When in the company of others, most of us find it awkward when there are those rare moments of silence that settle over the conversation.  It’s our nature to want to fill that silence with words.

Have you experienced a time lately when you’ve actually sat with silence?

Silence can feel thick.  I know that sounds weird, but some of you know what I mean.  There is a heaviness that accompanies silence–not a bad heaviness—one that’s like an old cotton hand-made quilt.

Silence is loud itself, but not in a noisy way.  I know this sounds weird, too.  The loudness of silence I’m talking about can feel deafening–in a good way.

There’s an art to sitting with silence.  I imagine we could learn a thing or two from the monks who take life-time vows of silence.  I’m not suggesting you and I need to take a vow of silence to that degree, but I am suggesting that we vow to take a few minutes each day to sit with silence.

Friends, our brains were not created to be stimulated and firing at all times, so consider your daily vow of silence as a means to caring for the one body, and all its contents, which you’ve got to carry you through the remainder of your time here on earth.

It’s not easy sitting with silence because our minds have a tendency to wander and race.  I could write an entire post on methods of managing and facilitating your quiet time, but for today, let me arm you with one helpful tip: Breath in and breath out, taking deep steady breaths.  Breathing this way is good for you both physically and mentally.  Deep breathing releases endorphins and increases the flow of oxygen through your body, which aid in pain management, stress relief, and increased energy.

Here’s my challenge for you today.  Plan a daily retreat to get away and have quiet time.  Some of us may find it harder than others to find that place of retreat in our lives, but even if you have to go and sit in your car in the driveway to get a few minutes of quiet, that’s OK.

Two minutes, five minutes, 10 minutes….just allow yourself some time to just sit in silence and breathe deeply.

Not only will you enjoy the benefits of this time but those around you will, too.  Enjoy, and let’s see if we can’t all make this a daily practice.

As always, I appreciate you spending time with me here today.

Please share my blog with your friends, family, and co-workers.

Have a great day!

Jill xx

P.S. Don’t forget to subscribe to my blog…my new 7-Day Life Balance Challenge starts next weekend.  It’s free, so don’t miss out!

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How Accountability Will Save You From Overwhelm

I asked a question in a reader survey last week (thank you to those of you who filled it out!) and the top two responses as to what they struggled with and/or kept them up at night most were stress and feeling overwhelmed.

The reason for my survey was to give me direction on what my readers would find most helpful in my future posts.  It would seem sensible for me to take the information from my survey (clear direction provided by my readers) and write about feeling overwhelmed or stress, right?

Easy, if I wasn’t swirling down a drain of overwhelm myself!

Because of the overwhelm I was feeling I had trouble focusing and was experiencing major self-doubt.  I didn’t even think I would be able to get my blog done this week–not due to a lack of time–but because I was paralyzed by fear and doubt.  In my state of overwhelm I was questioning my ability to write and whether I had a place to provide insight on a subject I struggle with myself.  Not the best ingredients for writing encouraging and helpful content on the subject of overwhelm!

If you’re reading this, you know that I’ve figured out a way to deal with this fear and doubt.  I tackled it!  If I made that sound easy, don’t let me fool you.  The truth is, I needed help.

My help came through accountability.

Over the years, when I’ve been in a state of overwhelm, I’ve found it extremely beneficial to have an accountability partner.  Someone to help keep you focused on a goal.  Whether it be someone who will “shame” you if you don’t show up at the gym, or someone to hold you accountable to finish that sweater you’ve been knitting for the last decade, having someone else hold you accountable is super powerful.

It’s important to remember that ultimately you’re still accountable for your own actions, but your “partner” will be there to provide a gentle nudge or reminder when you’re straying off track or to offer a word of encouragement for you to keep up the good work.

Following are six types of accountability partners/teams that I’ve at some point been part of over the years.  Pick one that works for you and watch how your feelings of overwhelm will disappear.

Friend – Friends can be the best accountability partners.  They are free and they have your best interest at heart.  I have a couple of friends who I walk with regularly.  I’m not likely to cancel on a pre-arranged time to walk with a friend.  On the other hand, if I plan on walking after work by myself, I find it easier to agree with myself on how exhausted I am after a long day and how it will be fine to wait and take that walk another day.  We can be our own worst enemies!

Spouse – My husband is the best at talking through things and helping me to see fresh perspectives when I’m overwhelmed.  The problem with family is that sometimes they can give the best advice ever, but you may be more likely to take the advice of someone that you are not as closely tied to.  I know this is crazy, but it’s true.  There are numerous “I told you so” opportunities for my husband to use on me, but being the good man that he is, he doesn’t play that card.  Thank you sweetie!

Mentor/Coach – Whether you pay to work with a mentor or a coach or you find someone who will provide this service at no cost, this relationship can turn your life around.  I have been on both sides here.  I worked with a life-coach several years ago to help me work on career direction.  Her services were extremely helpful and because I had “homework” due every week, it kept me very focused on working toward my goals.

On the flip side, I have provided mentorship through several organizations over the last several years, and the results, when the mentee is willing to work, are extraordinary.

Mastermind Group – This is a peer-to-peer mentorship group.  Being part of one of these groups helped deliver me from my state of overwhelm this last week.  I recently began meeting with an awesome group of business people every week who hold each other accountable for projects we are working on.  This type of group is a tremendous resource for brainstorming and keeping each other on track with our goals.  Here’s a great article from Forbes on reasons to join a Mastermind group.

Study Group – Whether you’re a student trying to get through Calculus or you’re in a Bible study, a study group is yet another great way to help you to keep accountable to your assignments and to learn from others.  I wouldn’t have made it through Calculus in college had it not been for a girl name Michelle Storm.  I haven’t talked to her in over 20 years.  If you’re reading this Michelle, thank you!!

Support Groups – There are groups to help people who are struggling with and/or recovering from most anything: drug and alcohol, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, sexual addiction, disease, abuse, anger management, etc.  Google or call 211 to find a support group in your area.

Here’s my suggestion for you today: Think about where you are most overwhelmed or feeling out of control.  Now take a look at my list above and see where you might benefit from an accountability partner or support group.  Once you’ve decided, make it a point to get something started within a day or two.  Trust me on this!  When in a state of overwhelm it’s easy to put things off, which in turn, adds to our level of overwhelm.

Now, if you’re feeling so overwhelmed right now, that you’re not able to narrow down the decision on a person or group to get started with, then just pick one thing in your life to work on.  Don’t fret over picking the right thing, just pick one thing.  You may be struggling with depression and asking a friend to get outside and walk with you every morning might be the easiest thing to start with now.

Depending on your situation, you may feel embarrassed to ask for help – don’t.  Every single person has something they are struggling with and could use some help.  There is no way to grow if we don’t stretch ourselves and step outside our comfort zones from time to time.

If you care to share, I’d love to hear what you are going to get started with.  When you answer in the comment section below you have already made progress, as your answer or commitment is a form of accountability.

You all, whether you realize it or not, are my accountability partners in writing this blog.  Thank you for reading and for the encouragement you have given me through your comments and feedback.  I appreciate you!

Have a great day!

Jill xx

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The Art of Delegation – Let It Go

Today wraps up our three-part series on self-care.  Week one, we talked about taking care of yourself before you crash and burn; week two, we talked about the power of saying “no”; and this week we’re tying this self-care package up with a pretty little bow called DELEGATION.

Now before you decide that the only people who have authority to delegate are people that have employees, think again.  Let’s see how Merriam Webster defines the word delegate:

delegate definition

Good news!  Every single one of us has the power and authority to delegate stuff in our lives!  Stuff in our work lives, stuff at home, stuff in our community involvement, etc.

My list of current “would love to delegate” items include: monthly deep cleaning at my house, some of the back end tech stuff for this blog, picking up dog poop in my yard (ok, that’s just dreamy talk…I wouldn’t ask anyone else to do that awesome job!).  We did recently hire someone to mow our lawn (our son who has moved off to college was our previous delegatee for that job).

Lazy or unrealistic you may say??  I beg to differ!  Here are a few reasons why I think it’s important to delegate as part of your self-care regimen:

  1. You will open yourself up to more meaningful opportunities. If your schedule is full, you will likely turn down or miss out on really good opportunities because you can’t fit them in your schedule.
  2. You should always try and utilize the highest and best use of your time. For example: Say you have 15 potentially productive hours in any given day.  Here’s a hypothetical breakdown:  Work at your job = 9 hours, commute to and from work = 1 hour, grocery shop = 30 minutes, prepare & eat dinner = 1.5 hours, laundry/iron = 1 hour, exercise = 1 hour.  That all equals 14 hours.  You’ve got one hour left of “awake” time in your day.  Would you rather have some down time to read, work on a fun project, visit with a friend, spend quality time with a family member OR mop the floors?  I say throw the dang mop in!  Hire someone to do the deep cleaning of your house.  Can you tell I’m working on convincing myself here? ; )
  3. You empower and/or provide opportunities for others when you delegate. That’s right!  Consider your delegating as an altruistic act.  : )
    On a serious note, we often hold on to tasks/jobs/activities for the wrong reasons—we’ll discuss some of these below–but by letting go, you may be giving someone else an opportunity at a learning experience or a chance to shine in something they do very well.

So now that we have some good reasons to do some delegating in our lives, let’s flip the coin and address some reasons as to why we might have trouble actually delegating stuff in our lives.

  • Fear.  Many people, especially in the workplace, fear if they delegate, their job might be in jeopardy or they will be needed less or seen as less important.  This is generally not the case.  Someone in a company who masters the art of delegation, will usually get more accomplished by utilizing the highest and best use of their own time.  The same thing can happen with families–for all you homemakers out there–it is not a sign of failure if you decide to delegate some of your home management duties.  You know the saying, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”
  • Loss of control. Whether you are a perfectionist or uncertainty causes you anxiety, the idea of losing control is a tough hurtle to overcome.  You must first come to terms with the fact that no mortal being has control over the future and to charge one’s self with the weight of this is an unrealistic burden.  Secondly, fighting perfectionism is an uphill battle.  If you can manage to let go of control, you will experience a freedom like no other.
  • Martyrdom.  If you are taking things on to make people feel sorry for you, please find it within yourself to stop immediately.  Martyrdom is the wrong reason to do anything.  It is a form of manipulation that is not healthy for you or those around you.
  • Lack of money. I mentioned wanting to hire someone to do the deep cleaning at my house—yes, this costs money, but my husband and I both have full-time jobs and we make decisions and sacrifices that will add value to our chosen lifestyle.  Obviously, each individual or family has to make their own decisions as to what is important to them and what they can afford.  If I make the leap to hire a housekeeper, I would personally make a decision to cut back on eating out.  If it’s not an option for you to delegate tasks where a fee or charge is involved, I would highly recommend a barter.  Using my example, I could offer a housekeeper free marketing or business coaching in return for his or her services.  Get creative…there is usually a way to make things work.

We all deal with different obstacles when it comes to empowering ourselves with delegating, but the key is to remember that the point of delegation is to create a life for yourself in which you are free to do what you were created to do, what you enjoy doing, what is necessary for your family, and what you do best.

I encourage you today to take a look at areas in your life that may be worth delegating, so that you can get to the really good stuff.  I’ve created a Delegation Worksheet to help you get started.

Click here to download your free Delegation Worksheet.

I’d love to hear what you decide to delegate!  Leave your one thing or a list of items in the comments section below.

Thanks for spending time here with me today!

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Taking Care of Yourself Before You Crash and Burn

NOTE: This is the first of a three-part series on the importance of self-care and easy steps to make it happen.  Read part 2 here.  Read part 3 here.   

Do you ever feel like you’re running in 101 different directions?  Are you busy taking care of everyone and everything else, leaving you exhausted and running on fumes?  Have you reached a state of burnout?

How are we supposed to properly care for others, if we are running ourselves ragged?

Let me ask you a question?  What happens if you do crash and burn?  I’m talking about getting physically sick or having a mini or even a major emotional breakdown.

One of two things will likely happen:

  1. Things in your life will fall apart and some of the pieces will be picked up in the interim, while others will be waiting for you to rise from your “sick” bed so you can pick up those pieces left lying around and get back on the crazy merry-go-round you’ve been on. Spoiler alert: This is an unhealthy pattern that needs to change!
  2. People in your life will step in and help out. Some of the responsibilities you’ve been shouldering will fall to others temporarily.  Others will fall away completely…right into the lap of the person who should have been handling that responsibility in the first place (spouse, kid, needy friend, fellow committee member, co-worker, etc.)

What I’d like to propose, since we can’t manufacture 10 more hours in a day, clone ourselves, or add an extra set of hands to our bodies, is that we focus on taking better care of ourselves, so we can better care for those around us.

Whether you have kids at home, you’re taking care of elderly parents while holding down a full-time job, or you’re somewhere in between–life can be crazy busy.  Setting aside time to care for yourself is critically important to your physical and emotional well-being.

A reader commented on last week’s video post about overcoming obstacles, on our tendency to show more compassion to others than we do to ourselves.  This is so true!  Don’t you think you and I need to show the kindness and compassion for ourselves that we show to our most precious family members and friends?

I’ve got a simple and fun exercise I’d like you to complete today.

Before we begin, let’s get you in the right frame of mind.

Please, please, please…

Give yourself permission to care for yourself.  Remember the reader comment I mentioned earlier about how we show more compassion towards others than we grant ourselves?  Imagine you had a friend that was burning the candle on both ends and about to collapse.  Would you tell them to buck up and get their lazy butt moving?  No, you would likely insist they immediately either take a couple days off, get a massage, put their duties aside and take some long walks, head to the nearest bed and breakfast to hide out for 24 hours, or a combination of all of these.  You get the point…we would wisely urge them to do what it takes to take care of themselves.  I encourage you to give yourself the same caring advice next time you are running ragged.

Ok! Let’s get started on this fun exercise to see how you can best care for yourself immediately and in the future:

I recommend you keep this list in a journal or notebook that you can refer back to in the future.  How about keeping a running list of dates and self-care activities too!  Click here to download a free printable worksheet to complete this exercise.

Step 1: Write down three to five extravagant (to you) things that you would love to treat yourself to (if only you had the time and money).  Think BIG here.  Pretend that money is no object.

Step 2: Now, write down three to five things that you would love to do if you had an entire 24-hours free, but you weren’t allowed to go more than 15 miles from your home.

Step 3: Last, but not least, write down three to five things that you would love to do if you had an entire 24-hours free, but you couldn’t leave your home.

Now, take a look at the last “home” list and circle your top pick from the list.  Do the same with the two other lists.

Get your calendar out and schedule, in pen, that one thing from your “home” and “15-mile” lists.

Here’s the hard part…make sure you don’t allow yourself to knock the activity or non-activity you’ve scheduled from your list.  You don’t cancel your yearly physical at the doctor’s office, do you?

You’re probably wondering about what you’re supposed to do with the first “extravagant” list.  That list is to keep you dreaming big and setting high goals for yourself.  Take your top pick from that list and figure out how to make it happen…even if it’s 3 years in the future.

Please don’t see this as a one-time exercise.  If you start regularly scheduling these types of things for yourself, you will see a huge improvement in your life.

Enjoy the special time you’ve got planned!

As always, thanks for spending time with me here today.  I would love to hear some of the things you will be scheduling in.  Please let me know in the comment area below.

Guess what?  I’m taking some of my own advice and am headed out this weekend for some rest and relaxation at a cabin in the woods with some girlfriends.

Thanks and have a great day!

Jill xx

Don’t forget to click here to download the free printable worksheet I created for you to complete the exercise we’ve talked about today.

NOTE: This is the first of a three-part series on the importance of self-care and easy steps to make it happen.

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Treat Each Day Like a Special Occasion

The next paragraph is best read using a soft, breathy, British accent.

When the world closes in on you and your head feels a size too small, apply just two dabs of Origins mind-clearing formula on the back of your neck, temples and earlobes. You’ll feel a tingling sensation as pressure, tension and tightness begin to melt away.

This is the online description for a special sensory therapy lotion I came across in my bathroom cabinet the other morning.  This lotion is so “special” that I have only used about seven “dabs” over the last nine years, when I received it as a gift.  I just discovered the little bottle costs $12 for .5 fluid ounces!  I think it may contain unicorn tears.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why I (we?) have a tendency to save up “the good stuff” for…. for what?  To use for a special occasion, I suppose.  The thing is, the special occasions that I (we) somehow deem worthy of breaking out the “good stuff” don’t seem to present themselves too often, so the “good stuff” remains tucked away unused and unappreciated.

No more!

So, with a NEW and IMPROVED mindset of making every day a “special occasion” day, I grabbed that special bottle of lotion and took it to the office to share!

I spotted a few ladies in the hallway and decided that they would be the lucky ones to experience the “sensory therapy” I had been hording all these years.  First, I dabbed some on my wrists, smiled and headed over to the lucky ladies.  Holding up the bottle, I said, “Y’all want a peace-filled day?  Try this!”

Mind you, these people have learned to trust me over the years, so they threw their wrists out to be dabbed with my special ‘Peace of Mind’ lotion.  As soon as I dabbed each of them, I brought my own wrist back up to my nose to inhale the loveliness.  Ahhh, the aroma of peace… the aroma of…

Cat urine!!

My wrist smelled like cat urine!  Or a meth lab, depending on your experience!

It took about a minute for the full cat/meth effect to grace each of their wrists.

Apparently, “special” lotions don’t smell as advertised after being stored away for nine years!  I figured it might’ve been like good wine and only gotten better.  Not the case.

Don’t worry the horrid smell was easily scrubbed away with soap and warm water.  : )

The lesson?  Don’t wait to use the good stuff.  Treat each day as it should be—as a gift.  A special occasion day.  A day deserving celebration.

I encourage you today to:

Burn the “special” candles while you sip on your morning coffee.
Use your fine china to serve your grilled cheese sandwich on at lunch.
Use the almost expired gift card to get that massage.
Grace your everyday table with the table linens that belonged to your great-grandmother.
Frame or display something that is too delicate to handle, but too special to ignore.
Carry and use the pocketknife that belonged to your granddad.
Write in the pretty journal that you have been saving for just the “right” words.

Can you relate?  What have you tucked away that you would like to bring out and celebrate this special day with?  I’m curious and would love to hear your answers.  Please leave your comments below.

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