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The Importance and Benefits of Being Curious

Are you a naturally curious person?  Are you fascinated with how things work, how they’re created, and why they occur?

If so, did you know that your inquiring mind is helping you to not only learn and retain more about that which interests you, but also to better learn and retain the additional things you learn after your brain is in a state of curiosity?

For example, say you were interested in learning how to make a stained glass window.  As you begin to research and learn how the process works, your curiosity will pay off by you now being able to take what you’ve just learned and create a stained glass window.  The added benefit is that while your mind is still functioning in that state of curiosity, if you were to study up on something that wasn’t interesting to you—maybe your 5th grader’s math homework–you’d be more likely to learn and retain that information as well.

Do you see the significance of stimulating curiosity and how this can benefit all of us in our everyday lives?

Imagine how teachers, parents, business people, artists, students, etc. could use this scientific discovery to their advantage.

Curious about the science of this phenomenon?

It’s all about the dopamine.

Charan Ranganath, neuroscientist at University California, Davis, explains: “This work suggests that once you light that fire of curiosity, you put the brain in a state that’s more conducive to learning. Once you get this ramp-up of dopamine, the brain becomes more like a sponge that’s ready to soak up whatever is happening.”

Now you’ve got the scientific backing for the importance of curiosity, so I’d like to add a few points that I think are important too:

Curiosity helps us to look past ourselves.  By nature, we are self-centered.  Being curious about other things and other people is good for us and will make us better people.

Curiosity deepens relationships.  Do you know your spouse’s, your child’s, or your best friend’s favorite food, book, movie, color, word?  If not, ask them.  Ask them what their dreamy-ist dream is.  Ask them about the most painful time in their life.  Ask them about the happiest day in their life.  The more you know, the closer you’ll grow.

Curiosity keeps you actively engaged with life.  There are so many fun, wonderful, amazing, and even sad things in this world that are just waiting for you to discover them.  Your curiosity, if you allow it to, will introduce you to events, opportunities, and experiences that you’ll never forget.

Two things I’d love for you to accomplish today:

  1. Try out the following experiment: Stimulate your curiosity with something you’re interested in and while your brain is all dopamined up, switch to something not so interesting and see how you learn and retain.While you’re at it, make sure to allow this experiment to truly benefit you by picking a real-world boring or uninteresting thing to learn about.  We all have things we need to learn around the house or at the office that just don’t get us excited.
  2. “Interview” someone you love today. Ask all the good questions and have fun!

As always, I appreciate you spending time with me here today.

Please share my blog with your friends, family, and co-workers.

Have a great day!

Jill xx

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6 Steps for Transitioning to Your New Normal

There are these huge waves on the Oregon Coast called sneaker waves.  They appear without warning, oftentimes catching an innocent bystander by surprise and whisking them out to sea.  There are warning signs posted on the beach, but like with many things in life, most people don’t think anything bad will happen to them.

I don’t know what it is lately, but I’m hearing from more and more friends, family members, and co-workers being hit by one of life’s “sneaker waves.”

Divorce, loss of a loved one, cancer diagnosis, break-up of a precious friendship, loss of a job, mental illness, problems with aging parents, personal injury.  Even things that aren’t supposed to be traumatic, like becoming an empty nester, or moving to a new city, can throw us for a loop.

The bottom line is that what was once normal, is now uncharted territory.  Transition to a new normal is necessary.

If you’re reading this, and are going through a tough time in your life, I encourage you to consider the steps below to help navigate through this difficult season.

Six Steps to Transitioning to Your New Normal   

Grieve the loss of the what was.  Grieving is a necessary process when you’ve experienced loss.  It’s important to allow yourself to grieve the old normal, but be careful not to spend too long in the denial stage.  Depending on what you’re going through, denial can actually be a helpful tool your mind uses to help pace your emotions.  The key is not to get stuck there.

Manage your expectations.  Yes, life will be different now.  It can be helpful to outline in your mind or even on paper how the new normal might be.  Sometimes just getting a visual picture or a plan for what’s to come will help manage the ups and downs that are typical in these transitionary periods.  With this being said, read on…

Be flexible.  Remember that no matter how perfectly you plan and try to manage your expectations, there are bound to be setbacks.  This is normal.  It is, however, extremely important to be flexible during a difficult transition period so that you don’t add to the stress you are already undergoing.  Roll with the punches—as best you can–learn from your experiences, and get back on course.      

Replace the “hole” with something healthy.   After my mom died, I inherited a bunch of her cookbooks.  Not much of a cook before, I found myself diving into culinary experimentation.  Not only did I learn new skills, but I felt a connection with my mom while cooking—a void was filled.  When my son left for college and I became an official empty nester, I started this blog.  I knew I would have extra time and I didn’t want to fill it with watching tv or something else that wouldn’t benefit me.  Be careful not to let drugs, alcohol, or any other destructive activity fill your void…sometimes these things may feel good in the moment, but they are bound to cause trouble down the road.

Understand you’re not alone.  It can feel like you’re the only person in the world who has been handed such a crappy hand, who has been so heartbroken, or who has experienced so much pain.  No two people will have the same exact experience, but you can bet there are lots of people out there who’ve experienced something similar.  There will come a time when it’s important to lean in to such people.  Leaning in does not mean you’re weak.  Leaning in can be your saving grace.  Whether it be through a support group, a friend, family members, church members, or a perfect stranger who was set in your path for a reason you may not understand.  Just lean in, friends.

Start your gratitude journal today.  If you don’t already practice writing in a gratitude journal, today is the perfect day to start.  Maybe you can only come up with one thing per day, that’s OK, just write it down.  If you’ve already been in the practice of writing in a gratitude journal, don’t let any setbacks you’re experiencing prompt you to stop.  Expressing gratitude is wonderful in the good times, and can be a real life-saver in the bad times.  I wrote an entire post on journaling here, check it out for ideas and inspiration.

Here’s to reaching a place of peace and stability in your new normal.

Jill xx

As always, I appreciate you spending time with me here today.
Please share my blog with your friends, family, and co-workers.

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Time is Short…How Are You Spending Yours?

In the blink of an eye, something happens that changes everything:

You lose someone important in your life…
The baby you held in your arms heads off to college…
Your marriage dissolves…
The 5 pound gain turns to 40…
A parent’s health begins to decline…
20 years has passed by and you’ve yet to…

Time is short…it either passes us by, with what seems like warp speed, or creeps up on us and catches us by surprise.

Today, I’d like you to spend the next few minutes–or if you have it, the next hour or two–answering the six questions below.  You may want to work through all in one sitting or spread them out over the next week.  I have included exercises with each area, so feel free to use those as a guide through this process.

The point is for us to take inventory of our lives and see how we can make the most out of our precious time.

Here we go…

MAKING AN IMPACT:  How do you want to be remembered?  What will your legacy be?  How will your obituary read?

Exercise:  Write your own obituary.  You could take it from two approaches:  Write it as it would truthfully read today and see where you see “impact holes.”  Secondly, you could write out the obituary that you’d love to see.  Either way, find the impact areas you haven’t accomplished yet, and begin to work toward implementing those in your life.

CULTIVATING RELATIONSHIPS:  Are you taking steps to nurture and grow your most important relationships?

Exercise:  Write a list of names of your most important relationships.  Now think about how those relationships could be enriched.  Some relationships will be fine as is, others may need a little TLC.  Try not to overcomplicate things either.  Nurturing a relationship can be as simple as texting one of the people on your list every couple of weeks, another may be to make a walking date every month, another to get together every three months for a fun weekend.  The point of this exercise is not to overwhelm your schedule, it is to bless you and those you are in relationship with.

LIVING OUT YOUR DREAMS:  Have you pushed your dreams to the back burner?  Are you stuck trying to figure out how to make your dream a reality?

Exercise: Write out your big dream and then write out the first 10 steps that could begin to make your dream a reality.  Oftentimes the biggest stumbling block to not living out a dream is not starting because the process seems overwhelming or unrealistic.  When you write out these 10 steps you’ve now got a “to-do” list broken out into digestible steps that you can begin working on.  Maybe you have a dream to travel to Europe.  Step 1 might be to research areas you’d like to see.  Step 2 to look into cost of flights and accommodations. Step 3 to set a budget.  Step 4 to set your dates.  Etc. etc.

LOSING CONTROL:  Are you trying to control things that are not within your control?  You’re fighting a losing battle, my friend.

Exercise:  Write out the things you struggle to control most.  Look at your list and see which of these you have the ability and power to control…circle those.  Now draw a line or a big X through the others.  Work on the ones you have circled and let go of those you have crossed out.

NOT WORRYING AROUT TOMORROW:  “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has its own worries.”  This quote is so true.  Worrying about anticipated threats is a complete waste of your time and energy.

Exercise:  Write a list of the things you worry about most.  With each item, write out possible solutions.  If there are no solutions, then work on staying in the present moment.  Worrying ties in with letting go of the things you cannot control: both these areas are some of the hardest to overcome, but very critical to living a fulfilled life.

PAYING ATTENTION TO YOUR HEALTH:  How’s your physical health?  How about your emotional health?  Are you eating right, exercising, and sleeping well?  Are you filling your mind with positive thoughts?

Exercise:  Include non-negotiables in your schedule to keep yourself healthy.  Schedule exercise, time to prepare healthy meals, and proper sleep.  If you struggle with emotional issues, schedule non-negotiable time for counsel, for exercise, and the other things to work on getting healthy.  Put these things in your calendar today.

A lot to think about, but remember time is short, so don’t delay in making your time on this earth the best it can be.

As always, I appreciate you spending time with me here today.

If you found this post helpful, please share with your friends and co-workers.

Have a great day!

Jill xx

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